Breathe In (Just Breathe, #1)(110)

“Had a boyfriend into BDSM?” Allen searches.

“I’ve never had a boyfriend. Remember. I don’t date,” I disclose.

“So you’re the one into BDSM?” Jimmy presses.

“Everyone is curious and experiments in BDSM at some level. Those who deny it to themselves and their partners are either in the closest or are prudes,” I point out.


Joe’s hand immediately stops massaging my foot.

“Please, tell us how you really feel,” Allen teases.

I blush a little at my rant and book bashing, but I think it’s hidden behind the light of the fire.

“Sounds like she’s never had a man properly satisfy her,” Jimmy adds.

“When needed, I’ve always been able to satisfy myself,” I openly share to my surprise.

At least I didn’t slip about Maggie and me. No need for more people to know about how Maggie and I interact.

Joe’s hand clamps down on my foot after my statement. I completely forgot that he was sitting here. He’s been so quiet the whole time. Crap. I offered too much to all of them.

“So how often do you to take care of yourself?” Jimmy prods with a grin.

Did he just really go there?

“Jimmy!” Joe scolds.

This is the second time I’ve heard him be stern with his brother.

“How often do you?” I throw back at him.

“I don’t need to with my awesome man right here,” Jimmy kisses up to Allen. They exchange a few pecks and snuggle more into each other.

“Please . . . I may have never been in a relationship with a man, but I’ve seen and heard about enough relationships to know that everyone masturbates, at some point or another, and I’m not talking about phone sex with your partner.”

The three of them stare at me blankly in complete shock to my openness.

“You know it’s true. Your lack of comment right now is proof.” I I add, desperately trying not to gloat on the outside about my victory.

After a few minutes of silence, Jimmy inquires, “Why don’t you date?”

“Choice,” I coldly comment.

Making assumptions, Jimmy challenges, “Had a bad relationship at one point?”

“Nope. Never had the desire to be in one,” I report calmly.

“Why not?” he presses.

“Jimmy, leave her alone,” Joe defends again with less irritation this time.

“Why? I know you’re dying to know,” Jimmy professes.

Despite the low light of the fire, I can see Joe’s face drain from all color except pure rosiness in his cheeks. I feel my own face flush a little hearing Jimmy’s statement.

The four of us sit quietly again. I’m searching for a topic to change to and I’m guessing that Jimmy’s looking for the next question to put me or Joe on the spot.

Unable to stand the silence, Allen asks to see the book and I hand it to him. After turning a page or two, Allen comments, “She’s right about the sex scenes being hot. I’m turned and it’s about heterosexuals . . . .”

“Really?!” Jimmy inquires. “Let me see that.”

I can’t help but giggle.

Breaking the silence as he gives me the book back, Jimmy investigates, “So, Emma. When’s your birthday?”

“Why?” I say rather sharply.

“I know when everyone else’s birthdays are; Jared’s is at the end of the month, Maggie’s in in July and Nathan’s is in August. When I asked them about yours they wouldn’t tell me.”

“It’s not important,” I respond flatly.

“How is your birthday not important?” Joe interjects.

“It’s not,” I argue.

“Everyone’s birthday is important,” Jimmy adds.

“Not mine,” I bitterly state.

“Even yours,” Jimmy pushes.

Cutting Jimmy off, I launch off the couch and repeat, “Not mine.” I turn and storm back to my room with Sadie following.

Aware that there’s a really good chance that Joe might follow, I immediately head to the bathroom, locking the door behind Sadie. I start the faucet for the extra large bathtub and add some of the bath salts that are in my bag. I swiftly open the door and rush to get my phone for music and mediation to calm my nerves. I release a large exhale of relief seeing my room empty. Back in the bathroom, I quickly undress and climb into the exquisite marble tub that can comfortably hold two large adults. A vision of sharing it with Joe tightens my nipples and tingles my sex — the things I would do him.

After some of the tension eases, I find some porn on my phone, and listening through my headphones as I use my waterproof vibrator, give myself three glorious orgasms. By the time my hands are pruney, I exit the bath and dry off. With just a robe on, I peek out to see who could be in my room — no one. I put my tank top and boy-shorts underwear back on and then accompany Sadie on the bed. With one light still on, I lay on my back staring at the ceiling petting Sadie. Feeling relaxed but still wide awake, I check the time. It’s barely midnight.

Sitting up to turn off the light, I spot Joe in the right sliding glass doorway. Sadie jumps down to greet him.


“Hey,” he says timidly.

“Hey,” I nervously reply.

“You okay?” He remains in the doorway.