Blind Kiss(58)

“Is it about Milo or Lance? Are they okay?” Kiki asked.

I looked at her and mouthed, Lance.

Kiki hated Lance. To be fair, she didn’t approve of most men, or traditional values of marriage and motherhood. After she left the pageant circuit and Liam passed away, she grew into one of the fiercest, strongest feminists I knew. She was dead set against Penny marrying Lance, believing she was doing it out of a warped sense of obligation. She was very vocal about her feelings for Lance, which meant that Kiki didn’t come over to Penny’s very often.

“What did he do this time?” Kiki pressed. “Don’t tell me. I already know. He’s an ass. He’s been an ass since you married him.”

Penny shook her head. “He’s a good dad. And no, he hasn’t been an ass since I married him.”

Kiki gripped Penny by the shoulders. “Don’t lie in front of Dad’s ashes, P. What happened?” Kiki was getting angrier by the second.

“He’s fed up with my relationship with Gavin and . . . I don’t know, lots of other things.”

“Gavin is your best friend.” People always said that but it never helped the situation. Even Kiki knew it.

“Keeks,” Penny warned, “he doesn’t understand.”

“Let’s go outside,” I said. “We’ll fill you in on everything.” Kiki let go of Penny and touched the glass in front of the urn. “Dad, sorry you had to see this.”

Penny touched the glass, too. Emotional, she managed a weak, “Daddy.”


ONCE OUTSIDE, WE shared our plan with Kiki to send Penny to my apartment in Denver while I stayed at my dad’s house in Fort Collins, which seemed to quell some of her anger.

Kiki took out her keys and handed them to me. “Take her to my apartment for now. I’ll go to her house, pack up some of her things, pick up Milo from school, and drop him off at my mom’s.”

Penny merely nodded and handed over her own keys. Her lips were dry and the cold air was not helping. She looked sick. She was sick, and tortured. She gave Kiki her keys and Kiki gave me hers. Penny attempted a smile, but her swollen lips cracked and began to bleed. I wiped the blood away with my thumb and rubbed it on my jeans.

I walked Penny to the passenger door of my car and helped her in. “My fucking knee,” she said, but I knew that wasn’t why she was weak.

She looked out the window the whole time during the short drive to Kiki’s apartment.

“You know Kiki would let you stay here instead of my place?” I told her as I unlocked the front door.

She wandered into the living room and curled up on the couch. “No, it’s too close. I want to get away.”

I draped a throw blanket over her and squeezed her shoulder.

“Thank you, Gavin.”

I nodded. “I’m going to talk to him. I want you to know that.”

“He won’t listen to you. He’s too hurt. I hurt him. I’ve been hurting him for our whole marriage.” She started to cry again.

“Just let me talk to him. I won’t start a fight with him, I swear. I won’t let it get to that. You just focus on getting some rest. I’ll be back later and we’ll figure things out.”

She waved me off, turned over, and fell asleep.





27. Fourteen Years Ago


GAVIN

Why am I in Carissa’s bed? Fuck. I was naked and alone. Blurry memories from the night before came flooding back to me.

We had gone out and I had gotten drunk. I started spilling my guts about Penny. Carissa told me she could make me forget about everything for a little while.

Liar.

Carissa stood in the doorway, wearing a kimono.

“Did we . . . ?”

“That has to be the most insulting morning-after statement ever, Gavin.” She looked pissed.

“So . . . we did?”

“No, we didn’t. You wouldn’t shut up about Penny. Total turnoff.”

The doorbell rang and Carissa left the room to answer it.

“Gavin!” she yelled. “Your daddy’s here!”

What the hell?

I threw on a pair of jeans and stumbled over to the door, glancing at the clock on the way. It was eleven a.m. “You look like shit, kid,” my dad said when I opened the door.

“Thanks.” I gave him a quick side-hug.

“You smell like shit, too.”

“How’d you find me? You could have called.”

He smiled sympathetically. “I know you better than you think. You would have pretended everything was fine, but I can see that it’s not. You’d just keep running, like you always do.”

“I’m not running.”

“Listen, I need to talk to you. Throw on a pair of shoes and a shirt and let’s get brunch.”

My dad didn’t do brunch. He meant a burger and a beer. I sighed. “Tell me how you knew I was here.”

“Penny thought you might be.”

Of course she did. “Fucking Penny,” I said. When I turned around, Carissa rolled her eyes at me and sashayed into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

I walked over and whispered through the door, “I’ll be back in a bit.”

“No, you won’t,” she said in a muffled voice. “Get your stuff and leave.”