Blind Kiss(51)

Lance had already landed a job as a pharmaceutical sales rep for a large company in Fort Collins selling a diabetes drug. Something about the fact that he had a job immediately after graduation made me like him more.

“What about tonight? Let’s go out. I need to get my mind off my dad.” And Gavin.

“Yeah, for sure, I’d love to. Dinner at seven?”

We were pulling into my driveway. “Perfect. See you then.” I got out and did a backward wave to Lance as he pulled away.

As soon as I got to the door, I heard the familiar, rumbling engine of Gavin’s car coming down the street. I walked into the house to the kitchen and calmly collected a dozen eggs from the refrigerator.

When he pulled into the driveway, I walked out and started chucking eggs at his car one at a time. “You want crazy?” I yelled. “I’ll give you crazy!” He got out, trying to dodge the flying ova, but one got him in the hip.

“Ouch! Stop, Penny!”

“You call yourself my best friend?”

“It wasn’t my fault, Penny!”

“Leave!” I screamed. “My dad just died and you leave me on the side of the street in the cold with a fucked-up knee?”

I almost fell over, trying to balance on one crutch, holding the carton of eggs in the other hand.

He held his hands out, palms up. “Just let me explain.”

“Don’t use your martyr act on me.” I had to stop throwing eggs or I was going to fall over. “And don’t come any closer.” We were at least ten feet apart. His eyes were searching mine. “You hurt me every time I’m already in pain. You claim you’re my best friend but I can’t ever count on you to be there.”

“I’m sorry, Penny!”

“I don’t want to see you right now, Gavin! You need to figure things out with Lottie. I don’t even know if we can be friends anymore. I don’t know if I’m getting in the way of your relationship with her, or if she’s getting in the way of my relationship with you, but it’s not working.”

“She’s in love with me, Penny. And she’s jealous of you. She knows you’re going to be in my life . . .” He paused and swallowed. “Forever.”

“We’ll see. I’m going out with Lance tonight.”

He let a frustrated breath. “Okay. I get it. You can’t stay mad at me for long, though. I know you.”

“Go home, Gavin.”

“Fine,” he said through gritted teeth as he walked back to his car.

“Lottie doesn’t know what love is,” I shouted.

He turned. “Do you?”

“Yeah, Gavin. I do. I know it’s not fucking with someone all the time. Locking them out, throwing their phone in lakes, starting fights . . . leaving them out in the cold.”

Silence. He was staring right at me when he whispered, “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”

Don’t cry, Penny.

“Go. Now.”

I went into the house, locked the door, turned off my phone, and slept until my alarm went off at six p.m. I could smell dinner scents emanating from the kitchen. My mother hadn’t cooked since my dad died, so this was progress.

I cleaned myself up and went into the dining room where Kiki was sitting at the table, waiting. “Finally! No takeout,” she said.

I sat down next to her. When my mom turned, she noticed I had gotten dressed in jeans and a blouse and put on makeup. I no longer had to wear my knee brace 24/7 but I still could only wear flats.

“You look nice! I made fettuccine Alfredo.” The moment “Alfredo” came out of her mouth, she started to cry a little. It was my dad’s favorite.

I went to her, took the pan out of her hand, and set it down. “Why did you make this?”

Breathing hard, she said, “I’m okay, Penny. Dr. Rush told me to make it.”

“Dr. Rush sounds like a quack.”

She laughed through tears. “Your dad would have said the same thing. Why do you look so pretty? Why do you look so much like him?”

“Do you think Dad was pretty?” I smiled.

Kiki got up and joined our hug. My mom rocked us back and forth. “I’m so lucky to have you girls.”

“Are you going somewhere, Penny?” Kiki asked.

“I’m going to have dinner with Lance. Will you save me some of this, Mom?”

“Of course, darling.”

Lance rang the doorbell at six fifty-two. Always punctual . . . and sometimes a little too early. I opened the door and kissed him. A full, openmouthed kiss.

“Wow, Penny. I didn’t expect that.”

“Well, you know me, full of surprises. Where are we headed?”

“I know a nice little Italian place I think you’d like. Do you need your brace or your crutches?”

“Nope, I’m on a high dose of Advil and the doc said I should walk around a bit. No dancing yet, though.”

He opened the passenger door like a true gentleman. For once, I appreciated how clean his car was. When we pulled out of the driveway, it was dusk. I turned to look through the window and could just see Gavin, dressed in his typical head-to-toe black, leaning against his car across the street, watching us drive away.

I texted him.


Me: Creeper.