Blind Kiss(26)

“Seems like you have different tastes from the rest of your family. No ruffles and flowers?”

“I like flowers,” she said absently.

“What, like Venus flytraps?”

“If you grew up with all this frilly shit, you’d be over it, too. I mean, do you know any other families who still use doilies? Every surface is literally covered in them.” She grabbed a shirt and jeans and headed for the door. “I’m gonna jump in the shower. I’ll be out in three minutes.”

“Do you need any help?”

“Be out in a jiffy,” she sang as she danced out into the hallway. I waited a beat before getting up.

I snooped, okay? I’m not proud of it. I needed to know more about her. For instance: why was she so stubborn about not dating? Had someone broken her heart? This girl’s room was literally devoid of anything girly that would indicate she’d even had a boyfriend before. No heart-shaped candy boxes, no folded love notes. No doodles of a guy’s name written eight thousand times on the cover of a spiral notebook. All I saw were tights, toe shoes, and dance stuff; not a single ballerina music box, stuffed with all her best-kept secrets.

When I heard her coming down the hall, I bounced over to the glass desk and plopped back into her weird office chair. She was wearing an off-the-shoulder T-shirt, and her long black hair was wet and draped over her bare shoulder. She sat at the edge of her bed to put on her socks and boots as she winced in pain.

“Fuck, my feet hurt.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

Even from a few steps away, I could tell they were red, swollen, and bruised.

“No, they’re disgusting. Believe me, you don’t want to touch them.” She finished pulling on her shoes and stood up as if she were perfectly fine.

What I would come to learn about Penny was that even when she was clearly in pain or self-conscious about her body, it never showed. She moved with ease around the room, which must’ve come from years of performing onstage. She carried herself with grace and confidence. I wanted her to be healthy, to love her beautiful body, to take care of herself—even though we were still practically strangers. It was the first time I ever wanted something for someone else in a purely unselfish way.

I’d never wanted to be this guy before, fawning over a girl like a puppy. That wasn’t me. Sure, I’d professed my love to a couple of girls, but I knew it wasn’t real. In my ideal world, I was going to graduate, travel around the world, and have a girlfriend in every country. But Penny was flipping a switch inside me. Now, I couldn’t imagine doing anything without her, her fucked-up feet, and her sopping wet hair. I felt born anew, baptized by her beauty.

“Gavin?”

Bathed in her voice.

“Gavin?”

Aching for her.

“Gavin? Where are you?”

“Uhhh, right here.”

“What’s going on?” She walked toward me. Before I knew what I was doing, I reached for her hips, pulling her closer to me. I had a strong urge to kiss her belly. “Isn’t it clear what’s happening, Penny? I’m really into you. If you let me, I’d jump right into bed with you and forget this whole friendship thing.”

She pushed my forehead back. “C’mon. Stop.”

“I can’t help it. I have to tell you the truth.”

She laughed but continued to push me away.

“Just let me kiss you,” I said. “Let me kiss your belly?”

“No, weirdo.”

I stood and braced her neck softly. “Let me kiss your mouth?” She didn’t move. I bent and touched my lips to hers. She was still. I pulled away. “Kiss me back, jerk.”

“No. We’re going to be friends. We agreed.”

“We are friends. Let’s just be the kind that kiss each other,” I said in all seriousness.

Something changed. She seemed sad all of the sudden. I ran my thumb over her cheek. Who is this complicated girl?

“We should get to the party.”

I nodded. The mood had shifted.

As we were walking toward the front door, her mother and sister walked in. Penny didn’t miss a beat. “Mom, this is my friend Gavin from school. He’s driving me to Ling’s apartment since I had a beer after dance class today. Gavin, this is my mom, Anne, and my sister, Kiki.”

“Hello, Gavin,” Anne said, reaching out to shake my hand. “Nice to meet you.” She pointed to my arm. “Those are some interesting markings you have there.”

Kiki chimed in. “Mom, those are tattoos. I think they’re kinda cool.”

An inscrutable look spread across Anne’s face. “Interesting . . .”

“We don’t want to be late to Ling’s,” Penny said, tugging me toward the door. “Gotta get going.”

Anne looked uncomfortable. “Penny, can I have a word with you in the kitchen first?”

“Nope, gotta go, Mom. By the way, Gavin is the one who fixed my car. You can use that money for Kiki’s professional airbrushed makeup this weekend and all the extra glitter.” She tugged at my arm again. “Let’s go!”

Anne shook her head. “Well, bye then. Be safe . . .”

Penny practically dragged me out of the house as Anne and Kiki gave us identical little waves from the doorstep like two beauty queens on a float in a goddamn parade.