Blasphemous (Torn #3)(78)
“I’m in love with you, Bass! So in love, I can’t think straight because I’m always thinking about you.” Nikki paused, giving out a shaky laugh. “Does she love you? I know you told me that you’re still in love with her, but does she love you?”
What the f*uk did I know anymore? “I honestly… don’t know.”
“What will you do once she tells you she doesn’t?” The Russian pressed on, planting more crap in my doubtful head.
“I don’t know, Nikki. I honestly haven’t thought past that.”
“Think about it. If she really loved you, she wouldn’t have kept so much from you. If she really loved you, she’d be yours by now. You know where I am when that day happens, Bass.” After a whisper of goodbye, she hung up and left me with a string of new doubts.
If she really loved you, she’d be yours by now. I hated how Nikki had just nailed those words in my head and it taunted me until I heard Emma.
“Bass?”
I was grinding my jaws before I spun around and pretended everything was gravy. “Yes, Emma?”
Her beautiful, golden hair was piled atop her head. She quickly spun around and exposed the bare expanse of her back. “I need help with those tiny buttons. Do you think you could fasten me up?”
I lowered my lustful gaze and nodded, striding towards the woman who held my future. My hands were slightly shaking as my fingers and thumbs buttoned her up, it sat right above the slit of her butt cheeks and it ended two inches above it. I was a button away when she cocked her head sideways, the quick move made me aware of her scented skin. “Who were you talking to on the phone?”
She was eavesdropping? “Nikki.”
Emma immediately stiffened when I said the name. I didn’t blame her at all because I reacted the same when I heard Carter’s. “What did she want?”
“Me.”
She made a sharp gasp and stayed silent. Once I was done, she slowly spun around to face me. Her beauty simply took my breath away. She was even more beautiful to me because I loved her more than anything. “We only have four more days to go.”
I know. I’d been counting down the days. “Do you have an answer for me, Emma?” I sounded so steady, but I was rather nervous inside.
“No, I don’t, Bass.” She looked away for a second before reaching for my gaze again. “Does Nikki know you’re with me? Sharing a bed and spending time together?”
“She does. I told her that the first time she called after we had an agreement, but she persists.” I watched as her breasts heaved and I tried to stray from them, but my eyes simply couldn’t resist.
“Funny… how I see myself in Nikki. I acted like that, too, when you broke it off with me, remember? What happens when you have me again? Will you change your mind again and go back to her? What do I do then, Bass?”
She compared herself to Nikki. Did she not know how much she meant to me? “You forget how we broke up to begin with, Emma. I won’t change my mind because, for months now, my heart only ever knew one woman. That woman is you. Even if I don’t trust you, I’m here standing before you, asking for another chance… for you to let me love you again.”
Her blue eyes sparked in anger before she hissed at me. “You tell me then… because I can’t grasp how you can have sex with another woman if you were so in love with me? How the f*uk did you screw her brains out if you only ever wanted me, Bass? Because I don’t f*uking get it!” she spat out, blue eyes igniting before me, looking more beautiful than she already did. She stared at me with her chest heaving and her bottom lip trembling. “Do you know… how many times I’ve been tempted to sleep with Carter?”
That made me stop breathing.
“Do you know… how many times Carter touched me… naked, had my legs wide open and a plunge away from taking me and I was so close, a breath away to saying yes to him? Do you know?” She was spitting fire now.
Her words devastatingly sent me to hell.
Carter on her… touching her…
“I’ve never had sex after you. I wanted to,” Emma whispered, “but it would be wrong to take another just to punish you because that’s what it would have been. Even when I knew you were with her… it took all of me to halt Carter when he was about—”
I blew a fuse. The images she dumped on my head were lethal. “That’s enough! I don’t want to hear you say his name! I f*uking hate his name!”
“Bass—”
I shushed her. No more for tonight. “I’m sorry, but I can’t be around you after the premier. I will be sleeping in my room for tonight. I hope you understand the demons I’m fighting from the words you left me with, Emma.”
She was surprised at my hasty explanation. She opened that luscious mouth of hers before snapping it shut again.
“Goodnight, my love. I will speak to you tomorrow.”
Chapter 31
“I’ve fallen in love many times… always with you.”
- Author Unknown
Bass
I left the movie theatre before the film had even begun to roll. I needed to lose myself in the miserable web I created for myself.
There was no one in this world that I wanted to kill, with my two bare hands, other than Carter Mason. If it was any another man, I would still be feeling this vicious emotion, but I would be able to control it.