Blasphemous (Torn #3)(73)
“What about Nikki?”
He shrugged, as if it was of no importance. “It was nothing serious. It was a casual arrangement.”
Heat suffused my body when he said arrangement. “How casual? Sex arrangement like what we had before?”
“Ours was different, Emma.”
Really, somehow I was having a hard time believing that now. “It isn’t really. How long have you been with her?”
“A week or so after we started filming in Dallas and I ended it before I left. I told her in the beginning that I wasn’t after anything, but Nikki can be very persistent.”
I bet Nikki was and you had a hard time resisting her, I thought loathingly. “Mind telling me about Berlin?”
“I didn’t invite her. She came on to me, but I told her no. However, the cameras only captured the moment where she kissed me. I don’t want to be with her, Em.”
My body wanted him back. Hell, my heart was screaming for him. My mind was hesitant, though—as it should be— because, when it came to Bass, I was entering a battle knowing that I was never going to win it. Why? Because Bass was my love; if he hurt, I hurt. That’s what we did, together and apart. What good was to come out of it?
“I was truly heartbroken when you left me, Bass. I loved you and yet you wished me away. I was comatose, deeply wounded with hurt and pain, I barely recognized myself. The time we were apart, taught me to be strong. I proved to myself that I was okay without you. That it was possible to live without you; that I didn’t need an insane, consuming, nerve-wracking connection to be with another human being. I was fine, Bass. I survived.” And here you are again, wanting to shake that world I had made for myself.
I wanted to reach out and take that anguished pain in his eyes, but that wasn’t my job anymore.
Holding my chin up to meet his unwavering stare, it captured me and plucked me out of my senses. “Then let me prove you wrong. We have two more weeks left. All I want is for you to spend time with me—no sex or kissing of any sort. Just spending time with each other like how it was with us in the very beginning.”
Was that even a good idea? True, sex and kissing made everything complicated between us. However—even without those two—being around him, would still evoke the same feelings. I loved him, spending time with him would put me in a position where I would be used to his presence again. If it didn’t work out, how did I survive again without seeing his smile?
“Why would you want to propose something that would be physically unbeneficial to you?” I was so invested in him as it was, but I just couldn’t risk another breakdown. I just simply couldn’t. How did I guard my heart this time?
“I want us again, like before. Before things went downhill. Sex with you was never truly sex to me, Emma. It was a way for me to show you how much I loved you. Every time I made love to your body, you felt it to your core that I was giving you a piece of my soul. It was never sex. It was a way to connect and feel that love in a genuine sense with no lies to cloud us over, no pretense to hide from—just us—you and me. A man and a woman, irrevocably consumed with this earth-shattering, fever-inducing emotion, so strong, so astounding that it left us breathless. It made us yearn for each other even if we were nearby.”
Those azure depths lovingly caressed my face, seducing my will, my reason, and my fated soul. “Even now, we’re this close, but I know you feel it. The more you run, the stronger it becomes. We’re only mere mortals against something larger than life. It’s that power to fight, Emma. Kismet. It chose us. You and me, bound forever.” Bass shot the words out with emphasis.
What the heck did I say to that? He wasn’t going to stop at anything to get what he wanted. So, here I stood, baffled, having no damn clue where to go from here.
“Bass—”
“Two weeks, Emma. No one will know if it makes you uncomfortable.” He cupped my cheek, stroking, while the air between us charged with tension. “Just let me be around you.”
Was that even possible? “Two weeks, no kissing or sex and we keep it between us,” I reiterated his rules.
“As promised.”
Two weeks. Fourteen days. Was it possible to be around him and keep him at arm’s length the whole time? It wasn’t, but I intended to prove myself wrong. “I hope you won’t be disappointed if you don’t get what you want in the end, Bass.”
“God, I want to kiss you so badly, but I promised.” He kissed my cheek instead. “The next two weeks will be torture, but I’ll endure anything to have you in my life. You’re worth every agonizing moment, Emma.”
“We’ll see.” I didn’t want him to be too confident.
“I do love you, if it makes a difference at all. I just want to tell you that I do.”
For the first time, I gave him a genuine smile before retiring for the night. “Have a good night.”
“See you in my dreams, my love.” He grinned, kissing my forehead. “At least there, I get to do wicked things with you.”
“Goodnight, Bass.”
“Goodnight, Emma.”
Chapter 30
“Of all pains, the greatest pain, is to love, and to love in vain.”
- George Granville
Bass