Big Easy Temptation (The Perfect Gentlemen #3)(61)

He’d planned to propose? The news battered her chest until it felt as if she’d implode. She would have said yes in a heartbeat. Now that he’d revealed the future he sought with her, so full of infinite possibilities, she knew what she hadn’t before. She would have married him and never looked back. She’d always been afraid of her deep, abiding feelings for Dax, but her fear was nothing in the face of his love.

Unfortunately, her sacrifice had to take precedence and none of that beautiful future would ever come to pass. She couldn’t love him if he was dead, and Holland found she was willing to do anything to ensure he was breathing tomorrow.

Once Dax had left her behind, she would very quietly try to figure out who these fuckers were and find a way to take them down if it was the last thing she did. And she would do it alone so she didn’t risk any life but her own. But she would have her revenge on the men who had cost her the love of her life and their future together.

Now that she knew they were watching, she would be more careful and hey, the way she felt right then, if they came after her, it wouldn’t fucking matter. In that moment, she really didn’t care.

She sighed long and hard, as though the conversation bored her, trying to sound as if she wasn’t dying inside. “Like I said, Dax. The sex was great but I don’t see sharing more with you.”

“You said you love me.”

She shrugged. “I love what you do to me. I love how you make me feel in bed. It doesn’t go any further than that. A long time ago, I told you I knew the kiss would be amazing and I would still walk away. This time I’m walking away with a whole lot of money.”

“How much would you have gotten if the publishing deal had gone through?”

“Enough to set me up for life comfortably. Enough to ensure I don’t have to marry someone like you for money.”

It was a calculated play. If he thought about it for two seconds, he would see the obvious flaws in her logic. She wouldn’t marry him but she would betray him for money? Marrying him would bring her so much more money and position, but she was counting on the fact that he wouldn’t see past her betrayal and the emotion of the moment. After all, it had happened to him before. It had happened to all of his friends before. They were American royalty. They’d been betrayed for money and fame, and wanted for everything but the men they were.

Brave. Loyal. Wild and true. Most women couldn’t see past the facades to their hearts.

Why do I love Zack? I don’t know. It’s funny, but once I saw him with his friends, I knew he was the kind of man I could build a life with. He’s real. They all are. Look past the glamour. Look to their hearts. You’ll find what I did, Holland. You’ll find a family.

She missed Joy. The loss of her friend still made Holland actually ache. If Joy had been here, she would have called the woman, asked for advice, listened. Joy had been the sister she’d never had.

And she’d been a member of a family Holland never would be part of, because she’d made her choice. Dax would live. One day in the future she would look at the paper or the web and see that he was marrying someone he loved and she would be happy for him. She would know that ripping her own heart out had been worth all the terrible pain.

Dax stood so still she wasn’t certain he would move again. “I don’t believe you.”

He had to believe her. Everything—including his life—depended on it. “Then you’re a fool. I don’t love you. I won’t ever marry you. Go away, Dax. I’m over it. Do you understand?”

Her whole body trembled. She felt weak. Tears pressed against her eyes, stinging. She blinked them away and forced herself to stand strong.

“Yeah, I think I do. And you know what? I won’t ever forgive you. Not for a second. You’re not the woman who’s had to be strong for others and hid her heart to protect herself. I’d convinced myself that you needed love and coaxing. But you’re just a cold bitch, aren’t you?”

She wanted to throw herself at Dax, vow that her heart was his. She was so in love with him. “No, I’m a smart bitch.”

“Well, at least we agree that you’re a bitch.” He shoved the ring back in his pocket and strode toward the door, fury sharpening his every move. She could practically feel his volcanic rage. “Don’t call me again. Don’t call my sister or my mother. I’ll make sure they know exactly what you are.”

He slammed the door and her world felt like it had disintegrated under her feet. She felt as if her life was over.

She crashed to her knees and lowered her face to her hands. The tears fell like rain.


*

Dax scrubbed a hand down his face. He’d been wrong. So fucking wrong. Wrong about everything.

“Another?” The bartender frowned like that wasn’t the best idea in the world.

The bartender hadn’t gotten his soul ripped from his body and pissed on by the woman he loved. “Yes. Make it a double.”

The bartender took a deep breath and then poured the bourbon. His friends preferred Scotch, but Dax liked the nasty shit. He liked the burn. It shouldn’t be easy and smooth. Liquor should hurt.

What was he doing? What had he been doing? He’d kicked up a hornet’s nest and it had bitten him. He felt an actual ache in his bones.

He took a long drink and ignored his trilling cell phone. It would be his sister or one of his friends calling to make sure he was all right.