Beyond What is Given(108)

“He’s sure my…difficulties caused the accident with Grace. Sure, he acknowledges that Owen may have had something to do with it, but if I’d been a better driver, I would have been able to avoid going over. Owen didn’t exactly help and said he’d been way ahead of us when he entered our lane, instead of less than a couple car-lengths.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I’m beginning to leave room for that possibility.”

She smiled, and my heart ceased functioning.

“I’ve missed you,” I whispered.

Her smile faded.

“Are you going to invite her in, or just stand in the doorframe all night?” Jagger asked.

“Hi, Jagger. Thanks for not donating my brain to medical science while I was unconscious,” Sam replied.

“Only because they didn’t offer me enough money,” he teased.

“Come on in,” I offered, stepping back. “It’s your home, too, you know.”

She stepped inside but shook her head. “Not anymore.”

What hope I had dwindled as I shut the door. Jagger and Josh were still leaned up against the kitchen counter. “Want to talk in my bedroom?” Our bedroom.

An awareness passed between us as she looked at me. “I think the couch is safer.”

“Only to those with no imagination,” I replied softly.

She closed her eyes. “Don’t. This is hard enough already.”

Shit. That wasn’t the line of a woman who came to make up. “Let’s sit.”

She took the loveseat and I took the couch. “We’re going to…” Josh started.

“Go somewhere a little less awkward than here,” Jagger finished.

“Nice,” Sam replied. They both came around the loveseat and took turns hugging her.

“You got the keys?” Jagger asked.

“I’m all set. Thank you again,” she said with a soft smile. Was she moving back in after we moved post-graduation? Just waiting for me to leave?

“I keep it for a reason. I’m just glad it’ll be of use. Text when you get there, and soak up that Colorado sunshine.” He hugged her again and left us alone.

“You’re leaving.” My voice came out a hell of a lot mellower than I felt.

“So are you,” she answered.

“Not for two more months. You’re running away. From what? Me? Us?” I leaned forward to where our knees almost touched.

“It’s actually the opposite. Harrison? My ex? Turns out I’m not the only student he slept with. I have an enemy in the registrar’s office, and she’s been altering my transcript every time I apply to a new school. Given the harassing emails she’s sent me, my guess would be she’s done the same to the other girls.”

“Damn. Why didn’t you tell me?”

She sagged. “Because I thought I deserved it? If getting into college with an assault on my discipline report is my penance, then fine. I deserve it. But when she started adding cheating, and plagiarism, and failing grades? That’s where I draw the line. I shouldn’t be held accountable for things I didn’t do.”

“You shouldn’t have to suffer. Not for any of this.”

“Well, that’s where I set this right. I have to go back to Colorado. I have to help those other girls, and myself. I deserve a future. And so do they.”

Pride swelled in my chest. She wouldn’t fight for herself, but she’d don battle armor and face down her biggest fears if someone else was being bullied. “You deserve the best future.” With me. “What about classes here?”

“With the damage to campus, they’re allowing a full refund of tuition, but my English prof said I could finish by correspondence. There are good things about the age of Skype.”

I grasped. “Like long-distance relationships?”

Sam avoided my eyes. “You chose North Carolina.”

The weight of responsibility was getting so damn heavy. “My family is there. My dad’s boatworks, my sisters, my mother. Parker is a damn mess, and I struck an idiotic deal with my dad that Joey could take over the shop as long as I did, too. I can’t break that promise. She’d be devastated.”

“I know.” Her eyes met mine, and what I saw there threatened to cripple me. Love shone through, as tangible as anything I’d ever run my fingers through. Love, acceptance, and regret all in one soulful gaze. “One of the things I love about you is your loyalty, your sense of duty.”

“It took me away from you after you’d been hurt.”

“Yeah, it did. I’m not new to this lifestyle, Grayson. It’s all I’ve ever known. Mom left a lot. I had babysitters, nannies, random friends that I lived with for a year or so during deployments. It wasn’t until I met Ember that I had another family unit to latch on to. It sucked as a kid, but I never doubted that my mother was made of magical, incredible things to be able to dedicate herself like that to an ideal. I resented a lot about our life, but never her. And I didn’t resent you when I woke up and you weren’t there.”

“I resented it.”

She leaned forward and set her hand on my knee. “I know. You have that same loyalty in you that my mom does. That same unwavering dedication. To the military, to your family. That’s why I understand that you need to go back to North Carolina while you can, because you don’t know where you’ll be stationed next. I get it, and if I tried to change that about you, then you wouldn’t be…you. I would never ask you to be someone you’re not.”