Beholden (The Belonging Duet, #2)(72)

“I’m not letting go, Catherine.”

I grip his shoulders and hold on, not knowing when I’ll ever feel his body against mine again. “You have to.”

Sure, we could try and make it work long distance, but who knows how long that would last for. Jackson runs two companies and travels, and my job is going to be extremely demanding.

“We’ll see,” he says and releases me. Jackson stands there for a minute before heading into the living room as he collects his uniform.

I sit here feeling desolate and numb.

When he returns, he pulls me from my chair and holds me one last time. “Can I call you?” Jackson chokes out.

I look up and see the emotion in his eyes. “I’d like that,” I say as my heart shatters.

“I love you, Catherine.”

The tears stream like rivers down my face. “I love you too, Jackson. So much. I wish …” I trail off unable to say what I wish because we both know.

“Me too, baby. Me too. I’ll call soon.”

I close my eyes as our lips meet. He holds my head and we both pour everything we’re feeling into each other. Jackson pulls back from my lips too soon. He kisses my forehead once and turns, walking out the door. I hear the door close and I crumble to the floor.

Love is messy and life sucks.





The house is sold, my things are packed, and I’m finally taking care of some last minute stuff before my last day of work tomorrow. My emotions are all over the place. I’m sad that I only have a few tangible things to hold onto of my father’s. I’m excited for the new venture my life is about to embark on. Most of all, I’m broken over losing the love of my life. I go from one extreme to another depending on the hour.

It seems like the only part of my life that I have any control over is my work. Tristan and I have planned out the first week and he’s already setting things up with new employees. Already he’s proven himself to be valuable and reliable.

My phone rings and it’s Natalie.

I swipe the screen to answer. “Hey, Nat,” I say with a big smile.

“Hi, Cat,” she giggles softly. “Aren’t we the rhyming names?” Natalie muses.

I laugh with her, “I’m glad you called me back. I’m so sorry I left so fast.”

“It’s fine. Honestly, the memorial was a blur. I would’ve talked to you and probably not remembered. I thought being so far out from his death it wouldn’t have been so hard for me.”

“I don’t know anyone would ever fully get over it, do you?” I ask.

“Probably not,” she pauses. “I heard you’re leaving in a few days.”

I sigh and run my hands through my hair. “Yeah, I leave in two days.”

“The last thing I expected to hear was you were going to California. Why didn’t you tell me?” She chuckles but I hear the hurt in her voice.

“Sorry, I don’t have any excuses. I didn’t want him to know.” I feel bad because I didn’t want to be deceitful but at the same time I didn’t want to risk it.

“I get it. Listen, I’m leaving New York and I’d love to come stop by on my way back to Virginia. Are you around?”

“Yes!” I practically yell. “I’d love that. I have some stuff I need to finish up around here, but I’d love to see you and Aarabelle.”

“Great. Text me your address and I’ll head over.”

I send it off and try to clean up a little more before she gets here. I’m excited to hold the baby and get to spend some one on one time with Natalie. Our entire relationship has been only through phone calls. Then there was the memorial, but it really wasn’t the time for a big friendly chat.

The doorbells rings a few minutes later and I rush over to open it.

I swing the door open and she stands there holding Aarabelle. “Hey, come in! Come in.” Aarabelle is beautiful. Her pretty pink dress and white frilly shoes melt my heart. You can’t help but want to smile around babies.

“Thanks,” Natalie smiles and enters the room. It’s amazing how someone who just had a baby is already as tiny as she is.

She places the baby in the car seat as she puts her long blond hair into a quick braid. Natalie’s bright blue eyes narrow and she looks me over. “You look like I feel,” she chuckles.

“That bad, huh?” I ask.

“No, not bad at all, just tired of it all.”

We sit on the couch and I fight back the emotions bubbling up. This woman has truly lost it all. The man she loves is gone and she will never see him, touch him, or hear his voice. Jackson isn’t dead, but there was a time where that could’ve been the outcome. I sat there watching and wondering if he would make it.

“I guess you know everything?”

Natalie places her hand on mine and smiles. “We’ll talk boys later, let’s talk about the job.”

“Only if I can hold that beautiful little girl.” I grin and she laughs.

“Of course!” Natalie says as she grabs Aarabelle. “I swear, she hasn’t been put down once in her life.” We both laugh as she hands her to me.

Her tiny frame fits in my arms as I delicately hold her.

We talk a little about the job and the move. Before I finally turn the tables onto finding out about her. “How are you doing?” I ask Natalie.