Before I Do(24)



Outside, the night was cool and still, though she could hear the low roll of thunder somewhere far away. There was something about being out in nature, breathing in air that felt washed clean, that instantly calmed Audrey’s anxiety. She heard an owl hoot in the distance and the low drone of crickets in the long grass beyond the box hedges. All the lights in the main building were off. She felt like the last person awake in the whole world. How late would Josh stay up? Would Paul persuade him to keep drinking in the bar? Had he broken Vivien’s “no spirits” rule too?

Audrey wanted to call him, to hear his voice again, but it was too late. Besides, at three minutes past midnight, it was officially their wedding day, so it would be bad luck, and they didn’t need any more of that. Instead, she strolled across the lawn into the vegetable garden and then peered through the darkness toward the hedge maze. She’d explored the maze before, in daylight. Now, with only the light of the moon to see by, it looked much more daunting.

Walking around the outside of the maze, Audrey brushed a hand against the beech hedge, following it around three sides of its square. As she turned the final corner, she saw a figure standing by the entrance. She nearly cried out in surprise to find another person out here in the middle of the night. The figure turned his head, and she saw who it was—Fred.

“I watched you come out here,” he said softly. “I couldn’t sleep, I was sitting on the window ledge, waiting for a break in the rain.”

“How was the rest of dinner?” she asked, clinging to the life raft of small talk.

“Everyone left soon after you.”

Audrey reached up a hand to rub her stiff neck, massaging it with the heel of her palm.

“How’s your injury? That looked painful.”

“I’m fine,” she said, avoiding meeting his gaze.

“This is weird, right?” Fred said with an awkward laugh. “Me being here. I’m sorry if it’s made you feel uncomfortable. I was trying to think how I would feel, if the situation was reversed and you were showing up at my wedding.”

“Yeah, it’s a little weird,” she acknowledged with a smile.

“Shall we go in?” he asked, nodding toward the maze entrance.

“It’s dark. What if we get lost?”

“You can’t get lost in a maze. Just keep turning right and eventually you get out.”

She took a step toward the entrance; it was as good a place to talk as any. Had she come out here subconsciously hoping she might run into him, knowing that he also struggled to sleep? Why did her whole body feel so alert to his presence, even in the dark?

“I used to love mazes as a kid,” Audrey said, still running her hand along the hedge as she walked through the entrance. “I think my mum took me to Longleat once. They have a huge one there.”

“When we talked outside the pub, you kind of caught me off guard,” Fred said as he walked behind her. “I spent the whole of dinner playing out this conversation in my head, what I should have said. I want you to know, things with Miranda—they’re not serious. We’re not even dating; we’re staying in a twin room. We met for the first time last week. I’m here because I lost a bet on a game of pool.”

“You’re here because you lost a game of pool?” Audrey asked, turning around with a playful frown.

“Yes. Miranda put up fifty quid for the winner, as long as the loser agreed to be her plus-one at this wedding.”

“Wow. Okay.”

“I’m only telling you that because I didn’t want you to think I’d be coming on Parker family holidays or anything.”

Hadn’t that been her exact fear?

“You don’t like Miranda? You don’t think she might have the potential to be more than a sympathy date?” Audrey asked lightly, reaching a crossroads and turning left.

“It’s not a sympathy date. I do like her, and I wasn’t doing anything else this weekend . . .” He trailed off. “I can’t help thinking it’s strange, though. I’ve never agreed to go to a random wedding before, and then to end up at yours . . .” He reached for Audrey’s arm to make her stop walking. She paused, and he gestured up to the starry sky. Fate.

Audrey held her breath, then slid her arm away and turned to keep walking, deeper into the maze.

“Why didn’t you come, that day we agreed to meet?” she asked, her face safely hidden from view. She sounded far more measured than she felt.

“I was in an accident. A scooter ran me off my bike, and I cracked two ribs, hit my head. I was in the hospital for two days.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, feeling a nagging pull at the back of her mind that this might not be true.

“And I did call you—first chance I had, but you gave me the wrong number.” She had given him the right number. She definitely had. “As soon as I was out of the hospital, I went back to our booth, stuck messages to it. I even posted a note with your photo on every noticeboard in every astronomy department I could find in London, in the hope you might see it.”

Audrey didn’t reply. The thought of him looking for her like that prompted an unexpected glow of affection. One of the worst things about him disappearing was the fear she might have imagined what she felt between them. Everything he was telling her now said she hadn’t imagined a moment of it.

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