Before I Do(21)

“I’m wondering what’s so appealing about this guy you’re kissing,” he said, his face softening to something less challenging. “The one who urinates in wine bottles and has a back-to-front musical note tattooed on his neck.”

Audrey shrugged. She had no idea. “He’s a good kisser.”

“You don’t have to be a dick to be a good kisser,” Josh said, dropping his eyes to her lips. They shared a moment then. Not a whole moment, she looked away before it could be, but it was the start of something, and it made Audrey’s stomach do a backflip. Or maybe that was just her bladder putting pressure on her stomach. Josh was about to say something else when the queue moved, the bathroom was finally free, and Audrey darted in. When she came out, she nodded an awkward good-bye to Josh. Then she did a quick tour of the room, topping up other people’s drinks before going to find her date, who was spraying beer at the neighbor’s cat in the garden.



* * *





The fourth time she met Josh was on Oxford Street. Audrey was rushing to a meeting with an image library she was freelancing for. He stopped her midstride as they crossed paths on the pavement.

“Audrey,” he said with a huge white smile.

“Hey.” She gave him a dazed look, unable to place him out of context.

“You don’t remember me, do you?” he asked, his eyes sparking in amusement. All she could think of was Ganymede, but surely that wasn’t his name.

“Yes, yes, sorry, my head was somewhere else. James, Paul’s friend. How are you?”

“Josh,” he said, shaking his head.

Josh! That was it, she knew it was a J. “I did know that,” she said.

“We’ve only met three times, but you know, it’s fine.”

He said it lightly, but Audrey was immediately defensive. “We haven’t met three times, and sorry if it takes me a second when I see you out of context while running to a meeting.”

“Don’t let me keep you,” he said, holding up his hands and turning to go. Something about the hand gesture irritated Audrey: his tone and the implication of the type of person she was.

“Hey, you don’t need to be a dick about it.”

“I’m not trying to be.” He laughed. “I just don’t want to keep you from your important meeting. See you around, Audrey.”

He walked on, and Audrey turned to chase after him.

“Hey, look, I’m not one of those people who never remembers people’s names, okay? Honestly, I was just in another world, plus I think I was pretty wasted when we met before.”

“I’m not having a go at you,” he said, still walking, eyes ahead, but there was the hint of a smile on his lips again. “I’m completely irrelevant to your life, why would you remember me.”

“Wow, with the attitude,” said Audrey, falling into step beside him. “What makes you think you’re so irrelevant to me?”

“I don’t know. You make a point of never saying more than two words to me. And you do that thing where you look over my shoulder, checking whether there’s someone more interesting to talk to.”

“What, all of two times?” she said with growing indignation. “And I do not do that shoulder thing, I hate it when people do that shoulder thing. I needed the loo—I was probably looking to see if the bathroom was free.” As she struggled to keep pace with him, she noticed how fresh-faced and healthy Josh looked, how warm and sparkling his eyes were.

“Until next time, Audrey,” he said, giving her a wave and a nod as he turned to cross the street. She watched his broad back and his thick brown hair disappear into the crowd and felt herself inexplicably riled by the encounter.

She never forgot his name after that.





12


One Day Before I Do



“Look, it’s just you and me now,” said Clara as they sat drinking vodka on the bridal-suite bed. “I can’t gauge if this is you having standard prewedding jitters, or if you are genuinely freaking out.”

Audrey toyed with the idea of telling Clara the true extent of her fears. She had told Clara about her one amazing day with Fred, shared her frustration about his standing her up and then never calling. But she had not told Clara that she had fallen in love with Fred that day. That she had never felt so instantly seen and understood by another human being. That he had been her first love, short as their acquaintance had been. She was embarrassed—it sounded childish and na?ve. Who believed in love at first sight? But Audrey had felt it, and her heart had not forgotten. Then she thought about the day he’d stood her up and realized her heart had not forgotten that part either, or what had come afterward—one of the best and worst weekends of her life.

“Do you ever think about Lucas?” Audrey asked, deflecting the question.

“Lucas? Ha.” Clara exhaled a loud puff of air.

Lucas had been Clara’s what-if guy. They’d dated for a month in their early twenties after meeting at a music festival. He was wild and spontaneous; he’d taken her skydiving on their first date. Clara had fallen completely in love with him and pretty much moved into his flat after three days. But when Lucas had inherited a farm in New Zealand and decided he wanted to move there, they’d broken up, and that was the end of it.