Before I Do(19)
“You went for a photography nerd,” Audrey reminded him.
“Because you’re sexy and smart, and I love everything about you.” He leaned in to kiss her on the lips.
“Okay, get a room, guys,” said Clara. “Oh wait, this is your room, but not until tomorrow.” Josh let out a short laugh, then opened the door to go.
“I’m really going now.” He paused, holding out his hand in the air, his smallest finger crooked out at an angle. “Pinkie swear not to stand each other up at the altar tomorrow?”
“Just go!” Clara said, laughing as she physically pushed him out into the corridor. Once he was gone, she locked the door so they wouldn’t be disturbed again.
“Finally.”
Audrey sat down on the bed and then flopped backward, flinging her arms out into a star shape. Clara jumped onto the bed next to her. “I’ve been dying to talk to you since dinner. He was watching you the whole time, you know.”
“Who?” Audrey asked, her eyes still on the ceiling.
“Fred!” Clara said, reaching out to gently knock Audrey on the forehead. “Did you hit your head on the way down?” Audrey covered her face with her hands. “What did he say in the car park? Clearly he remembers you.”
“He did. He said he looked for me, that he tried to call.” Audrey said it dismissively, as though she didn’t necessarily believe him, as though she didn’t care.
“Did he tell you why he didn’t show up that day, when you agreed to meet?”
“There wasn’t time, he just said something came up. There’s no point dredging up all the details now. I only wanted to make sure he didn’t launch into the story of how we met in front of the whole table.”
“Well, he was staring at you over dinner. Maybe he never got over you. Oh shit, what if he stands up in the church tomorrow!” Clara said, suddenly animated, jumping up onto her knees on the bed. “When the reverend asks if anyone objects. It will be like that scene in The Graduate where Dustin Hoffman beats on the glass window in the church, shouting, ‘Elaine! Elaine! Elaine!’ over and over again, and then she shouts, ‘Ben!’ and he runs down and starts whacking everyone out of the way with the cross from the altar.”
“You know you have a habit of giving massive spoilers for classic films I haven’t seen?”
Clara sighed. “Sorry. Such a great film. When they get on the bus together at the end, genius. Oh, or will it be like the scene in Four Weddings when the brother knocks on the pew and Hugh Grant gets punched by Duckface?”
“This isn’t making me feel calmer, Clara.”
“Okay, look, I’ll be on Fred alert tomorrow, ready to tackle him to the ground if he so much as breathes too loud in the ‘does anyone object’ part.”
It wasn’t Fred she was worried about. “What if . . . What if it is a sign?” Audrey said, turning over on the bed to face her friend, testing the water.
“A sign of what?” Clara frowned in confusion.
“That Josh isn’t the person I’m supposed to marry.”
“Please! Of course you’re supposed to marry Josh! What, you’re going to run away with your what-if guy from years ago, just because he shows up at your wedding—with someone else?” Clara’s tone was light, as though the idea was preposterous, but then she paused as she saw Audrey’s serious expression. “Audrey, no!”
“No, no, of course I’m not,” she said, purposefully rolling her eyes. “It’s just thrown me for a bit of a loop, that’s all. Fred always felt like an unfinished chapter, and now he shows up the night before I close the book on single life . . .” She trailed off.
“Classic cold feet. Completely normal.” Clara jumped off the bed and then rummaged in her bag before pulling out a small bottle of vodka. “I was saving this for tomorrow night in case the wine was shit, but I think it might be best if we had a little snifter now, just to put a bit of warmth into those feet of yours.”
“Seems sensible.”
“You know, I can’t think of one problem that vodka is not the answer to,” said Clara as she poured two shots into water glasses. “Though, what with being pregnant and then breastfeeding, I haven’t drunk much in the last year—I might have glorified the wonders of alcohol in my mind.”
Audrey let out a laugh that turned into a sigh. “Maybe we should reconvene about the pros and cons tomorrow morning.”
They clinked glasses.
Audrey took a sip and felt the warm sting of neat alcohol hit her throat. Seeing Fred again had opened a door into her old life. It was not a door she wanted to walk through just as she was about to get married. Perhaps breaking the “no spirits” rule would just take the edge off her mounting anxiety and help keep her focus on Josh.
11
Four Years Before I Do
About a month after Paul’s birthday at the pub, Audrey met Josh again. Audrey, Clara, and Paul were hosting a Halloween party at the Tooting house. Audrey was dressed as a cat, drunk on eyeball stew (punch full of maraschino cherries), and kissing one of her skinny musician types. On this occasion, the man was called Sage, and they were in the downstairs corridor while they waited in line for the bathroom.
Removing his tongue from her mouth, Sage grinned and pointed at the garden.