Becoming Calder (A Sign of Love Novel)(88)

"You could have sent a note somehow . . . some way."
"Yes, I could have. It would have been smarter." He gazed at me, his eyes roaming over my face as if in the last month, he had forgotten what I looked like.
"Yes," I agreed. I should make him leave. But he was right in front of me, his hair slicked all the way back from his gorgeous face, droplets still shimmering on his skin, and the male smell of him invading the air around me, making me want to close my eyes and inhale deeply.
And I understood the frantic feeling of needing to offer comfort to the one you loved, against all reason, all rational thought.
I put one hand up to his cheek and he closed his eyes and turned into it. "I'm so, so sorry about Maya," I whispered, tears immediately pricking my eyes. "I wanted so desperately to come to you."
A look of pain crossed Calder's features and he allowed it to remain there. Something about that made me fierce with protectiveness. He loved and trusted me enough to bare his pain to me. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him. He turned his face into my neck and just breathed as I rubbed his back and turned to kiss his cheek again and again.
When I leaned back, Calder said, "It was so sudden. I didn't have time to prepare." He leaned back up. "It still doesn't seem real. I wondered if the gods were punishing me for what we did."
I bit my lip. "By causing Maya's death?" I shook my head. "Are the gods that cruel?"
Calder sighed out. "I don't think so but I have no proof."
I let out a breath and looked down at my nightgown-covered lap. "When we get out of here, I'll find you proof. I'll study every piece of information available until I find you proof."
Calder smiled a small, sad smile. "My Morning Glory."
We stared at each other for a minute until Calder's eyes finally moved down my body. "So this is what you sleep in?"
I looked down at the long, white nightgown and nodded my head slowly, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "I'll wear something nicer when we sleep together," I said, feeling like a child in the modest, unattractive piece of nightwear. I knew women in the outside world showed skin sometimes. I very vaguely remembered wrapping my own arms around my mothers bare legs, her skirt just touching her knees, as she smiled and looked down at me. It seemed like a dream now.
Calder shook his head slowly, a look of heat coming into his eyes. "No, I love it. You're like a present I have to unwrap." One side of his lips quirked up. There it was. My smile.
"What do you wear to sleep in?" I asked.
Calder smiled. "Far more than I'll be wearing when I sleep with you," he said, grinning and leaning forward to kiss my neck. I leaned my head back, moaning softly.
"Calder . . ." I started, glancing back at my door. "We promised we'd be careful until we can leave . . . the sacrifice will all be—"
"I know," Calder whispered against my skin. "I'll leave in a second. Just another taste of you and I'll go."
"Mmm," I murmured as his lips feathered against my neck, sending a bolt of arousal straight between my legs. "The rain's stopping. You need to go," I said, running my fingers through his hair and pulling him back slightly.
Calder brought his head up and gave me his full beauty. I stared in his lust-filled eyes, his lips barely parted. With everything in me, I wanted to kiss those lips until I was dizzy and breathless. But Hector was right down the hall, and if we were caught, it would ruin everything.
Calder took my hands, stood up, and held me against him tightly. "I hate saying goodbye to you."
I nuzzled my face into his chest and then tipped my head back and looked up at him. "Just promise me once we get out of here, we'll never say goodbye again."
"I promise."
He leaned down and kissed me softly on my lips, and then I walked him to the window. It was just drizzling softly now. "Don't slip," I said, worriedly, eyeing the slick roof outside.
"I won't." He kissed me one last time, quickly, and then climbed through the window. I closed it behind me, watching him until he moved around the corner of the roof and disappeared into the rain.
I mopped up the water on my floor with a blanket at the end of my bed and then got back under my covers, feeling relieved yet still unsettled. I closed my eyes and said a prayer to the God of Mercy. He would always be my favorite.




CHAPTER TWENTY


Calder



The speakers went up the morning after I sneaked into Eden's room. Twelve of them in all, placed so wherever you were on Acadia, you could hear one of Hector's sermons being broadcasted.