Becoming Calder (A Sign of Love Novel)(31)

"Are you proud of being chosen?" he asked softly.
I thought about that for a minute. "There's no sense of satisfaction in something you didn't do anything to achieve," I answered.
Calder turned toward me. "But obviously the gods see something in you maybe you don't even see in yourself. You were chosen by them because you have a beautiful, brave heart."
I laughed softly. "No, it can't be that."
"Why not?"
"Because it's my heart that makes me want to deny my so-called destiny."
It's my heart that wants you to be my destiny.
Calder remained quiet, seeming to think about my answer.
"What's that one right there?" I asked, pointing at a bright star all by itself on the edge of the sky.
Calder turned back over onto his back and looked to where I was pointing. "I don't know."
"Maybe you can ask someone tomorrow."
"I won't be able to see it tomorrow to point it out." He smiled.
"Hmmm, I guess the stars teach us things, even from a thousand years ago."
"What do the stars teach us?"
I paused for a second. "That some things are seen more clearly in light . . . and some things are seen more clearly in darkness."
Calder turned his face toward mine seeming to study my face in the dim light. His expression seemed wistful. He didn't say anything, but after a moment, he grasped my hand in his, and we both turned back to look at the sky.
We talked about the stars, his beautiful, slightly gravelly voice filling the night air.
As I lay close to him, the warmth of his body next to mine, I listened to him talk. I felt content, something I hadn’t known before. I closed my eyes for just a second.
What seemed like a few moments later, someone shook me. "Hey." I heard Calder's voice and looked around, disoriented. The sweet smell of the fruit trees awakened my senses and my eyes slowly opened. "I have to get you back," Calder said. "We both fell asleep."
"No one even knows I left," I said sleepily.
"I'll be missed though," he said, standing up and reaching down to me.
I stood up and brushed myself off. I guess his family would know he hadn't come to bed since they only had two rooms.
We started walking and Calder grabbed my hand. We took the long way around the outer perimeter of the cabins, walking as quietly as possible, not speaking.
The bonfires were all just embers now, dying down, and most of the people had already gone inside.
I walked as slowly as possible, wishing I could stay out all night, just roaming around, doing as I pleased. With Calder. I sighed.
Calder looked over at me. "Meet me at the spring tomorrow?"
I nodded. It was lighter now as the electricity from the main lodge reached the path we were walking.
"Thank you for this," I said, glancing at him, feeling shy. "It's hard to explain what this meant to me, but thank you."
Calder looked over at me and smiled. "Maybe we'll do it again."
Hopefulness filled me and I nodded, smiling back at him and removing the cloak that had provided me anonymity and handed it back.
He left me at the place where the cabins ended, and the large courtyard between the workers' homes and the main lodge began. I looked back several times to see him standing where he'd left me as he watched me walk the rest of the way. His hands were in his pockets and as my steps separated us, he became nothing more than a shadow. As our distance grew, so did the loneliness in my heart. I missed him already.

**********

When I entered the lodge, someone grabbed my wrist and I cried out in surprise.
I looked up to see Clive Richter, my least favorite council member, a shifty-eyed man who used too much hair product. I thought it fit his personality—greasy all around. Why Hector considered him holy enough to be one of the leaders to his people, I didn't have a clue.
"You're not supposed to leave the lodge, are you? Especially at night."
My heart began racing and I swallowed. If Clive knew I was leaving the lodge for something Hector hadn't approved, it'd all be over. No more lessons. No more Calder. I cast my eyes down, trying to look as obedient as possible.
"I just wanted to see what the workers did at night," I lied. "I walked through their camp once. That's all. How can I lead people if I don't understand them? If they don't think I care about who they are?" My eyes remained down as I waited for him to respond.
"They're all a bunch of degenerates, you know. You're lucky you didn't get raped by a group of them."
"Degenerates?" I asked, my eyes rising to his.
"Yeah, degenerates. You hear their stories," he said, referring to the information Hector gave us about their lives when they joined our family in Temple.