Becoming Calder (A Sign of Love Novel)(25)

"Yes, I'm fine."
I sat down on a rock a few feet away, put my drawing pad on my lap, and began to trace her outline. Primal thoughts and urges coursed through me as my eyes moved back and forth between her body and my pencil. I halted and breathed out. Get a hold of yourself.
"So, what's our lesson today?" she asked quietly.
"Our lesson? Oh, lesson, right. Uh, more math?"
"No, I'll keep working on my addition and subtraction in my room in the evenings. How about some science today?"
My pencil kept moving. Once I got started, it was almost as if my hand took over. I barely had to think about what I was drawing.
I tried to remember back to what I had learned when I was eight, about the age Eden would have been when she came here. "Do you know the states of matter?"
"No."
"Okay, we'll talk about those today and whatever else I can remember from first year science. I figure . . . well, I figure anything I can't remember probably isn't that important anyway. Or at least, it's not that applicable to life." I laughed softly and she smiled back at me, but then she went serious and sighed.
"What is applicable to life, Calder? Maybe Hector's right. If we're all going to go to Elysium soon enough, why should I bother learning about this world and how it works?"
My pencil kept working as I thought about that. "Remember what I told you about the morning glory that day?" I glanced up and she nodded at me. "I learned about them in an agriculture class field workers had to take." I glanced up at her, my eyes taking in the shape of her parted lips as I traced them on the paper. My heartbeat quickened. I imagined it was my finger, not the pencil, tracing those ripe lips. It felt intimate and personal. I cleared my throat. "Anyway, what if I hadn't known that detail that day? That knowledge resulted in years of butterscotch candy for me." I looked up at her and winked and she laughed softly, a blush moving up her face.
I looked down at my paper again and drew quietly for a minute. "My point is, you never know when a small piece of knowledge is going to come in handy or maybe . . . maybe even change your life. I think you should try to take in as much of it as possible. No one should ever stop you from gaining knowledge if you want it."
She was quiet for a minute. "Thank you, Calder."
"For what? This is an even trade. I'm benefitting here, too."
"You're risking here, too."
I looked up at her, focusing on her delicate cheekbones and then back down to my paper. "Somehow . . . it feels worth the risk."
I stood up and went to her and arranged her hair again so that a portion of it was in the sunlight where it glistened like gold. There was something shimmery about her, a glowy incandescence. No wonder she's the chosen one to lead us through darkness, I thought. She shines.
As my hand moved through the heavy silk of her hair, our eyes met.
"Calder . . ." she started.
"Yes?" I asked, my voice even raspier than it normally was. Time seemed to still, she and I were the only ones moving, the world around us pausing for this moment. Her full, rose-colored lips parted and I almost groaned.
"I . . ." She looked down, as a pink flush rose up her neck. Then her eyes bravely met my own. She leaned forward and planted her lips on mine. I startled slightly, my eyes remaining open, as her lips simply pressed against me, firm, but soft, her eyes closed. I knew I should move—I knew I should—but I was rooted to the spot, immobile, incapable of rational thought. And then her tongue poked out tentatively and before I even realized it, mine had, too. Her taste—it surrounded me—sweet and delicious as our tongues met and played gently, testing, experimenting. Eden sighed, her hands came up to grip my shoulders and she pulled me closer. She tilted her head and her wet tongue slid more deeply into my mouth.
The power of the need to mate, hard and vigorously, shocked me. I wanted her. I hadn't known this pull before today, but I knew it then. I wanted her desperately, but I pulled away, turning and attempting to cool my raging blood.
When I turned back around to her, her face was flushed and she blinked at me, her blush deepening. "I'm so sorry," she said quietly. "I just wanted . . . to kiss you. Just once. Even if you don't want to very much." She shook her head slightly, the expression on her face fierce, yet vulnerable, full of a wary strength that made me feel awed to be in her presence. From the very first time I had talked to her, when she asked to join our game, there was a determined force about her. She appeared meek, gentle, subdued. Yet a depth of strength was evident, something I'd never seen in anyone else I knew. "If I have to live in Elysium for eternity with someone I don't love, I thought maybe a kiss from you, even just one, would make it bearable." Her eyes rose to mine and I stared at her.