Beautiful Broken Rules (Broken, Series #1)(50)

“Emerson, I know we would be great together. You’re scared, and I get that. I swear I won’t get all crazy-serious. Just give us a shot.”

He was starting to break me down the longer I stood here. I needed to leave. “We’re just having fun, Jaxon, that’s it.”

He lowered his head to his hand and pinched the bridge of his nose. I heard him inhale and exhale slowly while silently warring with himself. When he lifted his head to look me in the eyes for a couple of seconds, I didn’t say anything, so he turned around and left my room. I heard Quinn and Cole talking to him before the front door opened and slammed shut. How come every time I wanted to avoid hurting him, all I did was hurt him more?

When I was finished getting dressed, I came back out to the living room to grab my purse and keys. Cole and Quinn were lying on the couch together and Jaxon was gone.

“Don’t look at me like that you two. I’m super happy you finally opened your eyes and now you have each other, but that doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone else.”

Quinn gave me a sympathetic glance and Cole looked like he was dying to say something. “Spit it out, Coley.”

“You could at least explain to him why you are the way you are. He’s crazy about you and I know you are about him.” When I rolled my eyes, he retaliated, “Don’t give me that look, because you’re lying to yourself if you think that’s not true. We’re all here waiting for YOU to open your eyes now, love.” Usually his term of endearment was like a lovable big brother, now it just sounded patronizing.

“I was honest from the very beginning. I DON’T DO RELATIONSHIPS! It’s not something that’s just going to change because some gorgeous boy walks into my life.”

When I turned the doorknob to leave, Quinn sat up and said, “I love you, Emmy.”

*.*.*.*.*

It was a rough night at work for me. I wasn’t as flirty and nice to the customers as I typically would be. Even Ed came out and asked me what was wrong and when I told him I was fine, he shrugged his shoulders and went back to his office.

One of the regulars, Joe, came up to the bar to talk to me. “Hey, Em, did your boyfriend knock you around or something; what’s up with the fat lip?”

“No, this was my own stupid fault, I fell,” I said, motioning to my lip.

“Alright, well if you ever need me to kick some jerk’s ass, you just let me know,” he said while holding his fist up like he was in a boxing ring.

Joe was about seventy-five years old and skinnier than my twelve-year-old cousin. But he always kept me company on slow nights at the bar. One time, he told me how his wife had died of cancer about ten years ago. They had been together forty-five years. I’m not sure how he could be so happy when his other half just left him here all alone.

“Hey, Joe, can I ask you a personal question?”

“No question is a personal question for me. Shoot,” he answered back, while I poured him a Sprite, his drink of choice.

“How are you so happy after your wife, your best friend, died? I just don’t think I could come back from something like that. I know I couldn’t be as happy as you are.”

“Didn’t you tell me once that you lost your mom and dad a couple of years ago, kiddo?” he asked.

“Yes, sir, I did,” I replied solemnly.

“And yet, here you are functioning perfectly fine. I’ve seen you with those three boys and that beautiful girl Quinn in here, you’re always so happy when they’re around. Just because someone you loved dies, doesn’t mean that your world ends as well.” When he noticed his reply didn’t seem to help, he took a long sigh and continued, “The first year after Violet died, I felt paralyzed, as if she had frozen time around me when she left. Then I realized I’m still here and I can keep going, or stay in the same spot forever and be unhappy. I decided to keep going and live my life fully, because I would want Violet to do the same thing if the roles had been reversed.”