Beautiful Broken Rules (Broken, Series #1)(116)

“Jaxon… that’s not it at all. I got a voicemail right before that party from a lawyer who spoke of my mom and dad. Hearing their names so close to the anniversary of their death set me off… I know I never should have left.”

He nodded his head, “Quinn told me about the lawyer. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you during that; I beat myself up every damn day. After she told me that, it had already been a week since we broke up. You seemed sad at first, but then it seemed you were getting over me, and I didn’t want to hurt you more by asking you back. I started going to parties you were at because I had to know if you had found someone new. It sounds awful, but I was elated every time I saw you just sitting down talking to Cole, Jace or Quinn all night. You never left with any guys. I figured you would move on quickly. But week after week, you still came out to that tree by yourself and I started wondering if you missed me as much as I missed you.”

“A smart lady,” he continued, “once told me that I would screw up, we both would, but that it was how I handled it afterward that mattered. I didn’t handle it the right way; I should have never let Cole take you away that day,” he said and I smiled at his sweet mom’s words.

“Jax… it’s been a hard month for me. That day in the courtyard is high on my list of most painful days. I don’t think I can put myself in the position to be hurt like that again.”

“Since that day you walked out of the Frat house with barely any clothes on, I‘ve been calling you mine. Before I’d gotten to know you, I knew I had to make you mine. It only got worse the closer we got. When Cole carried you away from me that day, I realized you weren’t mine at all. I. AM. YOURS,” he avowed, while pounding his chest. “When I wake up in the morning, my first thought is of you and every minute for the rest of my day is spent thinking about you in some way or another,” he ground out.

“Jax…” I didn’t know how to respond.

“I’m yours, Emerson.”

“How do I know that if I panic again and need space, you won’t walk away from me? I understand how hard I am to be with. I still have a mile-long list of issues with my parents’ death, and I’m sure I’m not done freaking out.”

He grabbed each side of my face and looked into my eyes. I loved being this close again to those brilliant blues. “You don’t walk away from your heart.”

I grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer to me. He stopped his lips from mashing into mine; instead, he stopped them right against me. We sat there waiting for the other, our breath intermixing. I could feel the softness of his lips on my mine, but he wasn’t moving any closer.

“Please, Jaxon…” I whispered against his mouth.

Without moving his mouth, he brought his hands up and slowly released each tiny button down the front of my blouse. When he finally had it open, he slowly removed it from my shoulders and tossed it in the backseat. I glanced out the windows to see if there were any people around. He caught me searching.

“Trust me, Beautiful. I’m not going to let anyone else see you.”

With his reassuring words, I closed my eyes and let him take charge. I realized that five months ago, I wouldn’t have cared if anyone else saw me. Now I understood that I wanted to save everything I had for this man right here. I couldn’t imagine sharing any part of me with anyone besides him. For that, I’ll always be grateful for him.

“You do make me stronger.” I opened my eyes to look at him as he was freeing me from my bra.

“What?” he asked while trying to stay focused on my eyes.