Beautiful Broken Promises(43)

The one thing that could ruin my mood was standing tall in front of us. I looked up at the four-story building that might seem charming to any other New Yorker in Brooklyn, but to me it was ugly and held the worst memories a father could have.

I knew when Raegan realized we had met our unwelcome destination because her body slipped in behind mine. I couldn’t even begin to image what this would do to her. After seeing her break down on the balcony at the hotel this morning, I realized that while she appeared strong, she still had her own demons. I couldn’t make them stay here a minute more than necessary.

“We’ll sleep here until we figure out the next step. It won’t be long,” I whispered to Raegan.

“I have cash now; I can pay for a hotel,” Raegan said with a faint voice.

“You only have four hundred dollars, Rae. I won’t let you spend that. I can afford a hotel, but let’s just try this out first. If it’s awful for any of us, I promise we’ll leave.”

“Braden and I could go…” she began. She must have realized where her line of thinking had been going because she abruptly cut herself off.

“Do you want us to separate?” I asked.

“No!” Kate and Braden immediately shouted up at the both of us. They were holding hands tightly and I scolded myself for having this conversation in front of them.

“I’m sorry, guys. I didn’t mean that,” Raegan soothed. She squatted down and kissed each of them on the cheek. For a moment, I almost wanted to ask her for one as well—less on my cheek and more toward my mouth though. Just to soothe my nerves, of course.

I walked up the steps toward the outside vestibule door and unlocked it. Then I let everyone slip in as I unlocked the next door. I used to be grateful for the extra security. Look, two doors to stop possible intruders! What a joke. They both required the same damn key.

I was a f*cking police officer and I couldn’t even secure my own building. My neighbors used to thank me when I came off of my shifts for moving into the building. They used to gush about how I made them all feel safer.

They never said anything, but the looks I received after my daughter was kidnapped from my own home while I lay asleep in the next room were drastically different. Their gazes were no longer filled with awe and appreciation, rather shame and disappointment. How could a police officer’s child get taken right out from under his nose?

He was a f*cking terrible one, that’s how.

My feet must have trudged to the second floor by pure muscle memory because I was shaken from my zoned-out state when I felt a warm hand encompassing mine. I had the key hovering over the deadbolt, but my hand was frozen, preventing it from going any further.

Rae squeezed lightly and guided my hand and the key into the brass lock. I was enjoying the sensation of her warmth so I let her continue. She turned my hand, which caused the key to turn in the lock. I heard the metal slide out of the latch and we were finally free to enter. Raegan turned the knob and pushed open the black, wooden door.

Kate and Braden rushed in front of us. I knew they would be okay. I had asked my mom to dust the place and fill the fridge for me. I had also asked her to remove all pictures that had Ash in them. I didn’t want them thrown away because I planned on telling Kate about her mother, but there was an appropriate time for something like that and now was not the time.

Raegan and I remained in the doorway, neither of us moving forward. I couldn’t tell who was more uncomfortable with this place. Or maybe she was just standing here to give me the courage to enter.

I glanced down at her petite frame and dark chestnut-brown hair. The strands were shiny and long. The tips were just beginning to graze her ass and I wanted to wrap it around my arm and pull her head back, forcing her to look up into my hungry eyes. Might not be the best idea right now. God, she was hot though. I’d definitely need to distract my mind from any future thoughts like those.

My eyes took in her movement as she grazed her fingers over a large chip in the paint on the doorframe. This building appeared to have more and more of those chips. It certainly wasn’t the finest building, but it was all Ash and I could afford at the time with a baby on the way—or at least that’s all I thought we could afford. The area Raegan stroked was a larger indention than normal and her eyes seemed to be far away, lost in a memory.

“I’m pretty sure this was from my head,” she whispered. The words that came out of her mouth were so faint, I wouldn’t have heard them if we had been anywhere else besides this silent doorway.