Bearly Hanging On (The Jamesburg Shifters #6)(51)

*

About eight minutes after taking flight, she touched down at the intersection of Pine, Beard, Magnolia and Bondie. The site was utterly, unbelievable, inconceivable.

Atlas, the giant zombie bear, lovingly sewn together from many parts, was standing in the middle of the street, waving two stop signs with the grimmest, most serious look on his face Jamie had ever seen this side of a Steven Spielberg movie.

Except that he was wearing the same kind of sash that sixth graders wear when they're on the safety patrol.

And absolutely nothing else.

That is most definitely not a regulation police uniform.

A car pulled to a stop, and Atlas turned, checking both other directions before waving it through. But, the second he saw Jamie touch down, he dropped his signs and ran toward her, barreling into her, lifting her stilettos off the ground, and giving her the biggest, beariest hug she could imagine. Dutifully, Sara picked up the signs and directed traffic. She was wearing her normal flowered dress and flip-flops combo.

He set her down, and stared at her, smiling and drooling, just like a really, really happy bulldog.

"Well look at you!" Jamie patted the giant on the shoulder. He ate up every ounce of attention, he loved it to pieces. "Looking good, Atlas, how you like working?"

"Not... work?" he said. "Every day I'm... vacation. I'm on vacation, and making... safe? I make safe. Everything. Safe."

She was used to him not wearing much in the way of clothing, but seeing the bear's giant dork swinging around every time the breeze caught it was something... very Jamesburg.

"I brought you, er, lunch," she said, handing the jug to Atlas, and collecting his massive paw of a hand to drag back to the intersection. By the time they got there, which was roughly a fifteen foot walk, Atlas had somehow guzzled half of the jug.

All around Sara's feet were Cadbury Creme Egg wrappers. "Hey Sara," Jamie said, giving the slightly smaller zombie a high-five, which she enjoyed a whole bunch. "Boo-ba-bar!" Sara shouted, opening, and then eating, another whole treat.

"Jenga told me you were watching your figure," Jamie said. "But more importantly, where the hell do you get those things in the fall? I could seriously use some of them."

Sara shrugged. "Atlas found," she said. "Want one?"

Turns out, she had an entire duffel bag full of them. Jamie peered inside, and felt like a dragon opening a treasure chest full of gold coins. All the types - caramel, peanut butter, chocolate, original - all were there. "Sure," she said, grabbing an original and a caramel. "But this doesn't look much like a diet to me."

Sara made a honking noise. "You smelled?" she pointed at the jug. "Not lunch. Not good. Not for nobody." She ate another chocolate. "Sara don't care about diet, but Sara not stupid."

Atlas gave her a huge, wide, beaming smile, finished his jug and then opened hers. "Anyway, he stupid. He likes."

As soon as he was finished, Atlas conscientiously placed the two jugs in a bin marked "RESICKEL" that he had on the ground near his feet. "You should too," he said, pointing at the trash on the ground near Sara. Before he could pursue that further, a car approached, so he had to very carefully direct it through the empty intersection.

"Dump...ster," Atlas announced when he turned his attention back to the women.

Jamie cocked her head to the side, and took a bite. This was gonna hurt like hell in about three hours, but sometimes, it was worth the pain. She stuck her tongue down into the magical filling and slurped it back. "God, that's good. What about a dumpster?"

"Egg," Atlas said, picking up the sign again, as two cars approached, and he had to judiciously assist both. "Egg from dumpster."

As the creamy fondant slid down her throat, Jamie immediately felt torn between the fact that this Cadbury Creme Egg was in a dumpster somewhere, and the fact that it was a Cadbury Creme Egg. "Shit, it was wrapped," she muttered, taking another bite of chocolate.

She stood there for a few minutes, watching Sara devour chocolates, and watching Atlas and his flopping dork direct traffic. For those few minutes, everything seemed pretty normal, all told.

"I told you!" she heard Atlas boom, breaking her caramel-filled respite. "I tell... you! No yooner, no... no yoonie, no... no!" He was growling and starting to get more than a little hulked out.

"Unicycle," Sara added, helpfully.

"No yooner...cycle!"

"It isn't a unicycle, it's a fairy cart," came a voice, odd and smooth, and thoroughly detached from reality.

Glenn. Great, Jamie thought. Just when things were going right, here comes the king of the not-fairies.

As she feared, Glenn, the werewolf who either pretended to be, or had gone sufficiently crazy to believe he had turned into, an actual, literal fairy, wheeled up on what was most definitely a unicycle.

"And why not?" he twirled, after dismounting. The bells on his bizarre, green tunic jingled. "Why can't fairies go through here without fear of... reproach?" he rolled his r's. Of course he did.

"Not... safe!" Atlas growled. "And... stupid." Atlas shrugged. "Don't like."

"Oh well, that's too bad," Glenn said with an overdramatic pout. "Because I don't care what you like or not! I don't like you!"