Bait: The Wake Series, Book One(77)

“What do you have to be sorry for, Blake?” I ran my hand through my hair and sighed in exasperation. “The whole thing sucks.”

“I know.” Her voice cracked, something I hadn't heard before. “For me, too. I don't know what I'm doing anymore.”

“When did you get engaged? How long ago?”

“July,” she said quietly. “The day Aly messaged me and told me I was a nobody.” She sounded liked she'd been scolded for stealing cookies and was trying to plead her case.

My head pounded.

My eyes shut and tightened.

The day Aly messaged her? Wait. I'd seen her after that.

“I saw you in July.” My voice was cool, my emotions were anything but. It had to be a coincidence. The two couldn't be connected. “Why didn't you say something then?”

“I don't know,” she bellowed through the receiver.

I couldn't hold in my frustration any more. “Yes, you do. Why? Why didn't you tell me?”

“I didn't want it to stop. I didn't want you to, I don't know, ignore me.” She sighed.

“What do you want? Because you're confusing the f*ck out of me.”

The line was quiet, but I could hear her moving on the other end. It sounded like she was tapping something. It was the only tip I had that told me she was still there.

Tap-tap-tap.

Tap-tap-tap.

“I told you. I don't know,” she said.

Again it sounded like the truth, but what did I know about her truths? What did I know about her at all?

I knew her nose lit up when she was turned on. I knew she had a temper to rival the one I was growing into. I knew that every time I was around her she consumed me. I was back at square f*cking one.

“Are you really going to marry him?” I had to know. If she was, then what was all of this for?

She sniffed. “Do you want this to end, Casey? I know it's messed up and that I'm messed up. But for now, can't we just have fun? I don't know what I want.”

“Then why did you tell him yes?” I'd lost my temper.

“Because! I did! You had a girlfriend. We had a one-night stand, for Pete's sake. I've been with Grant a long time. He had just bought me a damn house! That day, when Aly said those things, I didn't know what to think. She obviously knew we were talking. I didn't know what to believe, then Grant took me to the house and proposed. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time.” Her voice had escalated to shouting, but then it lowered again when she continued. “But now…now I don't know.”

It was messed up. She was right. If I would have just dead-bolted my hotel door. If I would have told Marc that I wanted to take the trip alone. If she would have called me like she said she would and told me about what happened.

If.

If.

If.

IF!

Still, she wasn't married yet and she was talking to me. And she didn't know what she wanted. There was still hope. Still a chance that maybe she wanted me. We still had time.

“It's okay.”

“It's not okay, Casey.”

“It will be. We don't have to talk about that. Not now.”

“We don't?” She sounded hopeful, relieved.

“Well, you're not off the hook yet, honeybee.”

She mock-laughed, a small nervous chuckle vibrated through the phone. Then Blake said, “I feel awful.”

“I don't.” I kind of did. I shouldn't have lied, little and white as it was, but I wanted her to talk to me. The sex part was crazy hot, and her body made my rational thinking quite the opposite, but there was just something about her. Her wit. Her charm. Her.

And to actually tell the f*cking truth he was a fool. What kind of man, who had a girl like my Blake, wouldn’t feel the need to light her up, to get her eyes shining like I'd seen? If he wasn't doing that, and clearly he wasn't, otherwise what was she getting from me? You know? Like why the hell didn't he spend every moment playing and kissing and f*cking showing this girl a good time?

Was mediocre really all what she wanted? We had more than that, didn’t we?

I knew what she wanted. She wanted a thrill.

I was her thrill. I wasn't her boyfriend, and I wasn't her fiancé. I was a spark. Something that excited her; something that made her bones hum with life. And if that was the kind of thing she wanted—because I sure as hell did—then I'd give it to her.