Bait: The Wake Series, Book One(131)

When I got back to the house, my house, my mom's house, the last place I'd seen Blake, I started a fire and docked my iPhone, playing Christmas music as I watched the flames lick the pecan wood I'd brought inside for the mild winter.

I did what I did every night.

I brooded.

I thought about her.

With him.

Were they having a merry Christmas? Exchanging presents and playing board games with their families? Where they arguing and going to bed angry?

God, what I would have given to be going to bed angry next to her.

I was nine sheets past three sheets to the wind. I'd had my fill of drink, but I was still up. Sleep avoided me like two north magnets those days.

My head sagged onto my chest until I heard a familiar voice, and it lifted itself to confirm who I was hearing.

Aly.

She was here in my living room.

“Casey?” she said, inquiring to see if I was awake. I hadn't moved, only tuned my ears into her presence.

She came to me where I sat in the chair that faced the fire, which was nearly out by then, and crouched down in front of me.

My eyes didn't want to look. I'll admit. It wasn't my finest moment. I'd stared so long at the burning wood that my eyes were dry and they watered when I shut them to ignore that she was there.

I didn't ask her to come. In fact, I'd done everything in my power to avoid her.

I never wanted to be a person who made someone feel less than worthy. I knew how she felt about me, but that still didn’t make me feel anything for her.

Yet, she was the one who was there. I needed Blake, but instead I had Aly. I hated that I knew how it would play out. I hated predicting the next few hours, but I was so damn lonely.

I craved Blake's touch, but I could have Aly's.

I was in misery.

Aly was a pacifier. It was wrong, but I was weak.

When she moved her hands to the tops of my legs, I turned my head away from her again. I wanted to resist, but then I thought of Blake nestled warm in her bed next to her husband.

I had been faithful to a woman who didn't know the definition of it. A woman I loved all the more for her crimes, because she committed them with me.

Aly’s hands wandered without my protest to halting their curiosity. We'd been together in our past. In my life pre-Blake. She wasn't completely foreign.

I was tired of fighting. I was tired of being alone.

I stood and took her hand. My feet weren't steady and my steps showed her exactly how much I'd consumed. She went with me anyway.

I took her to my old room. The one opposite the house from the bed Blake and I'd shared. Even with the haze that the alcohol provided, I was lucid enough not to bring her there.

She was gentle with me as I stood there and let her take my clothes off. I still didn’t look at her, though. There was a nasty taste in my mouth as hers moved over my skin. It did nothing to excite me. I was limp. Numb to her.

“Casey, let me make you feel good,” she whispered in my ear as she took my length in her hand and massaged me, persuading my body to agree to her plight. “She's not here. She left you,” she said, and if she'd only known that it wasn't helping her cause, she probably wouldn't have mentioned it.

“She's comin' back,” I slurred. She walked me backward to the bed and I sat on the edge when my knees hit the mattress.

She straddled me. My hands stayed next to my body, they didn't embrace her. They were powerless, too.

It wasn't until she said, “I know you love her. She isn't here, though. I can be her tonight. Please, love me like you love her. Just for tonight. Let me be her.”

My vision cleared and I finally made eye contact with her. I saw an honesty there. No strings. The woman who was caring for me in this moment wanted to be here. I wanted to give my love to Blake, but she was gone.

“I've been drinking,” I told her in defeat. Even if I did want to participate, now that we were there, I couldn't see how I would be able.

“Shhh. It's okay.” She breathed into my hair, it had grown out a little and she ran her fingers through it in a way that reminded me of my honeybee. Two hands ran up the back of my head, scoring my scalp. I let my eyes close and gave in.

She reached between us and even to my surprise I was hard, not to my full potential, but enough to get the job done. That was good enough for her.

She took her shirt and bra off. I leaned back on my elbows and watched a girl that I didn't love mount and ride me like her life depended on it. My dick reacted like dicks do. It took what it was offered and I watched with lazy eyes as she f*cked me.