Back to You(93)

She brought her hands to the button, fumbling with it as she kissed him, and once she had them opened, he lifted off of her, pulling them quickly down her legs. She took the opportunity to pull her tank top over her head, flinging it somewhere on the other side of the room.
His eyes ran over her body once, and then they flashed to hers as he exhaled heavily, lowering his mouth back onto hers. Without hesitation, she reached between them and started working on the button of his jeans.
She was rushing. She knew she should be savoring it, but she couldn’t bring herself to slow down. She was so afraid he was going to change his mind, and she briefly wondered if he was rushing for the same reason.
In a matter of minutes, they were both stripped bare, and Michael was leaning over the side of his bed and reaching into his nightstand.
Lauren kept her hands on his waist and her eyes closed, trying to keep her breathing even.
This was going to happen. This was actually going to happen. She bit her lip at the sudden ridiculous urge to laugh.
But when he came back and positioned himself over her, laughing was the furthest thing from her mind.
Then he entered her, stopping when he met resistance.
Stopping when he heard the quiet whimper.
She tried to stifle the sound, she really did, but she had no idea it would be that intense.
He was completely frozen above her, and when she finally opened her eyes and looked up at him, she knew that he knew. His eyes were wide with some combination of shock and horror.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
His eyes fell closed as he dropped his head. He still hadn’t moved.
“It’s already done, Michael,” she said, her voice suddenly sounding small. “Don’t stop now. Please.”
He opened his eyes and looked at her. There were so many emotions flashing behind his eyes that she didn’t know which one to appeal to.
She knew she only had seconds.
Lauren brought both hands up to his face, forcing him to look at her. “For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve given me a part of you that you haven’t given anyone else. And now I’m finally getting to do the same.”
His eyes fell closed again, and this time, he almost looked pained.
“Please don’t be mad at me,” she whispered. “I’ll never regret that it was you.”
Michael exhaled slowly as Lauren looked up at him, studying his face: his full lips, his cheeks flushed with emotion, his eyelashes fanned out beneath his closed eyes. He { display: block; text-indent: 5%; font-size: 0.88rem; margin-top: before n the looked so young in that moment. So vulnerable.
And right then, her heart broke for the little boy who wasn’t taken care of, but it swelled for the person who, despite everything, was able to maintain such kindness inside him, regardless of what everyone else thought they knew about him.
And she realized right then, even if she never felt it again for the rest of her life, she knew what true, unadulterated love felt like.
She ran her thumb softly over his cheek, and he opened his eyes.
This time, when he looked at her, there wasn’t a trace of fear behind them. It was replaced with something so intense, so real, she felt goose bumps prickle over her skin.
After what seemed like a lifetime, Michael lowered his head as he pressed his lips to hers.
She knew this was his surrender, and her heart raced in her chest with the realization.
“If you want me to stop, just tell me and I will,” he whispered against her mouth.
She nodded quickly, kissing him back, and then he was moving again.
Lauren hadn’t prepared herself for what it would feel like. For the first few minutes, all she could do was concentrate on trying not to give away how much she was hurting. She kept reminding herself that it was Michael. That he was holding her. And inside of her. And they were as close as two people could possibly be.
And even if it was nothing like she expected, it was still everything she wanted.
She gripped him tighter and he answered in kind. Every inch of their bodies was touching, and Michael buried his face in the side of her neck as he exhaled her name.
At the tenderness of the gesture, Lauren closed her eyes. Her hand immediately came to the back of his head, holding him there as she felt tears welling behind her closed lids. And when he gently kissed her neck, she couldn’t stop them from spilling out over her temples. Michael lifted his head slowly, his face brushing the side of hers.
He must have felt the moisture there because he whipped his head up and froze, his expression alarmed.
“Am I hurting you?”
“No no,” she assured him, rubbing her hand over his back. “You’re perfect. This is perfect.”
He looked down at her, gauging her honesty, and she smiled softly, a tiny laugh falling from her lips as two more tears slid over her temples.