BROKEN AND SCREWED(Broken_Part One)(30)

After she left, I huddled in my bed and stayed there. One movie turned into two, turned into three, and after the fourth, my stomach growled so loudly that I was forced to leave for the kitchen. Once I was down there, I stopped in the foyer.
There was no sound in the living room.
I circled through the first floor of our little house. Every room was empty. The basement was the same, and then, my heart starting to pound, I went upstairs. The bathroom was empty. My parents’ master bedroom was empty. The room Jesse always used was empty as well, and the last room was Ethan’s. His door was closed. It had been over a year now. My hand started to tremble, but I pushed open the door.
His black comforter was pulled straight over his bed. His pillows were piled high, along with the bag he had left on his bed that last day.
I drew in a shuddering breath.
It’d been a little over a year. I couldn’t believe it.
After entering the room, I shut the door again and backed up to the wall.
I hadn’t gone into his room since his funeral and I couldn’t make myself even look around it now. His presence was so overwhelming; I felt as if he was in here, maybe on his bed, and he had looked up at my arrival. He always did that when I’d push open the door for some question or a stupid excuse to see if Jesse was with him. Some days he’d tell me to leave, but other days he’d welcome my arrival.
I gasped out loud and tried to draw in another breath.
Then the tears started. Why did I feel him? Why did it seem as if he were right next to me? Then the hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up.
I had to get out of there.
I shot to my feet and sprinted from the hallway. I grabbed my purse, my coat, and I was out the door within moments.
I still felt him.
As I got into my car, my fingers were clumsy and I dropped the keys twice. After the third time while I gritted my teeth, I was able to turn the engine on. And then my phone went off. I jumped and gasped again. My eyes grew blurry as I reached for it. When I read Marissa’s name on the screen, I sighed from relief.
Slowly, the world returned to focus and my heart stopped pounding in my ear. I was able to see once more.
As I hit the answer button, I collapsed against my seat and sighed, “Yeah?”
“Oh my gosh.” Marissa drew in her own breath. “Thank God you answered me. I’ve been calling you all night. I’m so, so, so sorry about Jesse. I really am.”
“What happened to Cord last night?” I didn’t want to hear anything she had to say about Jesse.
“Wait, what? What are you talking about?”
There was my answer. “Nothing. Never mind.”
“Wait, did something happen to Cord last night? He dropped me off and was going to pick me up later. I was supposed to sneak out since my parents have become wack crazy with me lately, but he never showed. Did something happen? I assumed he ditched.” Her voice raised a note. “Oh, my gosh. What if something did happen? I’m so horrible. I was cursing at him all night and I even defriended him on Facebook.”
I regretted saying anything now.            
“Alex, did something happen? Please tell me what you know. You know something, otherwise you wouldn’t have asked about him. What happened? Please, please, please don’t make this about you and me. I messed up. I am a horrible, horrible friend. I never should’ve called Jesse, but if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have fallen in love with Cord. Please tell me!”
I sat back up again. My voice was quiet. “You love him?”
“Yes!” she cried out. “I didn’t realize it until last night, and it was the most bittersweet night for me. I knew I might’ve lost you as a friend, but I realized that I loved Cord, and then I thought he ditched me, you know the rest. Please, tell me!”