BAD REP(146)

I took a deep breath.  “Yeah, sure it will,” I said less than convincingly.

Jaz and Damien had just gotten off of their shifts and crowded around us, waiting for their drinks.  “I love hearing these guys play!  I'm so excited!” Jaz chirped, her good mood doing nothing to dispel my bad one.

“Yeah, they put on a good show,” I responded, staring into my whiskey sour.

I was going for the harder stuff this evening.  Figured I'd need it.

The crowd was thick and the noise in Barton's was deafening.  I could see Garrett and Mitch setting up their amps.  Vivian sat on top of one of the rigs, talking to Cole, who was pressed against her, his hands on her upper thighs.  Still no Jordan.

I tried not to fixate about it.  But it was impossible when I knew any moment he'd show up and shred my heart to bits all over again.  “Oh, Maysie!  I forgot to tell you.  We move into our apartment next weekend.  I'd really appreciate it if you could help,” Gracie pleaded, batting her eyelashes.  I laughed at her.

“Of course I'll help.  No need to waste your flirting skills on me.  You know I'll do it without all the cuteness,” I joked.

“Awesome. Vivian wants to have a housewarming party that night.  Just a few people.  Nothing crazy.  But it should be fun.”  Gracie started telling Riley and me about the new couch they had just purchased and the green and gold color scheme they had planned for the living room.

I tried to pay attention.  I really did.  But suddenly the air seemed to leave the room and I knew he had arrived.  The skin on my back prickled and I discreetly looked over my shoulder.  And there he was.  His hair was growing out and for the first time I could tell that his dark hair was sort of wavy.  It looked good on him.  Too good.

He was lugging his drum kit through the door, his arm muscles bulging under his t-shirt.  Riley handed me a napkin.  “Wipe the drool,” she muttered and I swatted her hand away.

“I am not drooling.  Shut up,” I hissed, looking away, even though it was almost physically painful to do so.

Why was I here? This had to be some form of masochism.  I was inflicting unnecessary torture on myself. I was finally in a semi-decent place.  It wasn't like Jordan had made any effort to talk to me.  That part of my life was over.

So why was I sitting there, in Barton's waiting for him to reach into my chest and rip my heart out all over again?

“Breathe, Mays. It's all good,” Gracie whispered, tapping her fingernails on my glass.

“Yeah.  All good,” I murmured.

The lights went down, Vivian rejoined our group and Cole introduced them.  The crowd went wild and my body pulsated with the first beats of Jordan's drums.  His draw was intense and instinctual.  He literally called out to my body and every inch of me answered.

It seriously sucked.

“We are so happy to be back here at Barton's!”  Cole yelled into the mic, after playing a Tool cover.  Jordan continued to keep up a steady beat.  Cole grinned into the teaming crowd.  “I wanted to announce our plans to go on tour next year.  Our man Piper has agreed to saddle up with us full time after he graduates!  We're gonna hit up places up and down the east coast!  You'll be able to find the full tour schedule on our website!”  Jordan twirled his drum sticks in his hands and hit out a quick successive beat.

Wow.  So Jordan had decided to do it.  I was proud of him.  Really proud of him.  He had stuck to his guns and gone after what he wanted.  I didn't think I could love him any more than I did just then.

“And now it's time to unveil a new song our drummer has been working on for a while now.  Take it away, man!”  Cole flourished his arm out in Jordan's direction and the crowd went quiet.  I watched as Jordan closed his eyes.  His face was dripping with sweat and he seemed to be steeling himself.  I knew that look of concentration on his face.  It was the same look he wore whenever he was about to say something important.

I think my heart stopped in that moment.  Riley reached down and grabbed my hand, squeezing tightly.  Jordan finally opened his eyes and looked out into the crowd of people.  He seemed to be looking for something.  Or someone.

And I knew when he found it.  Because it was the moment his eyes found mine.  He leaned into the microphone by his side.  “This is for the girl who always runs away,” he said softly, his eyes never leaving me.  The crowd went wild.