Absolution(92)

“Yeah, she told me.”

They stood in silence. A cool breeze sent a chill down Callum’s neck. “I found her, that day.”

He didn’t talk about this with anyone, not even Tom. He tried to forget about the events of that morning – to bury them – but despite his efforts, they refused to budge. Every time Ally didn’t answer her phone, they came rushing back to the surface like it had only happened yesterday. The panic, the horror, the disbelief. Even though he knew now why she did it, it didn’t help. She wasn’t bulletproof, despite what she wanted them to think.

“She was lying on her bed. I thought she was – “ He took a shuddering breath as the panic he had felt that day hit him anew.

Jack’s hands fell to his side as he turned to face him. The look on his face took Callum’s breath away. Tears rolled down his cheeks and he swiped the back of his hand under his nose roughly.

“Why didn’t he tell me?”

Callum shook his head, speechless.

Suddenly, Jack had him by the shirt, propelling him over the lawn and slamming him up against the side of the house, knocking the breath out of him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jack hissed, face contorted into a heartbreaking combination of rage and fear. “Why didn’t someone tell me?”

Callum gasped, winded. Jack’s face was inches from his and he was scared. He blinked rapidly, pushing at Jack to get him to back off. Jack drew back his fist and Callum squeezed his eyes shut, bracing for the impact. When it didn’t come, he opened them warily and Jack aimed his palm into the wall next to him instead, missing his head by a fraction of an inch.

Jack released him, stumbling away as Callum slid to the ground, gasping for air.

“I wanted to tell you,” he heaved, his throat burning. “I wanted Tom to tell you, but he wouldn’t.”

Jack turned to face him, skepticism written all over his face. “Bullshit!”

Callum shook his head, pain shooting up his neck. “It’s true! He said it wouldn’t do any good, it wouldn’t change anything.”

Jack huffed out a sarcastic laugh, still pacing up and down, shaking his hand out.

“Would you have come back if you’d known?” Callum demanded. “Honestly?”

Jack glared at him helplessly, then turned away.

“Come on – would you?”

“I don’t know,” Jack mumbled, standing with his back to him, inspecting his hand.

“Then don’t go blaming anybody.”

Callum pushed himself away from the house and stood up shakily. “You weren’t here, you didn’t know. That was three years ago and she’s still here and she’s doing fine. Well, she was, until you came back.”

Jack turned back to him, eyes narrowing dangerously. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying be careful. If you need some time to think about this, fine, take it, but make it quick.”

“Time to think about what?” Realisation dawned. “For Christ’s sake, I don’t need any time to think about anything!”

“You sure about that?”

“Am I pissed off that nobody told me about this? Damn straight. Does it hurt? More than you’ll ever know.” He shook his head, his voice catching in his throat. “But does it make me want to get the hell out of Dodge? No way. I’m here and I’m staying and I’m starting to wonder how many times I have to tell you people that before you get it!”

“You –“

“Yeah, I know – shitty track record! But if you thought this was gonna change things, you’re dead wrong.”

Callum fidgeted uncomfortably and Jack honed in.

“You did, didn’t you? You thought that once I knew about this, I’d take off again!”

Callum didn’t bother denying it.

“Why the hell did you give me that pep talk last night if you felt that way?” Jack demanded.

“Jesus, get over yourself!“ Callum exploded. “That wasn’t a pep talk! It’s not about you – none of this is about you! Don’t you see what you’re dealing with here? You can’t just pick and choose what you can and can’t handle! It’s a package deal – all or nothing, those are your options!”

Jack breathed heavily through his nose, his jaw clenched tight. The breeze gently rustled the leaves above them.

“You have to decide,” Callum continued, calming himself. “Because if you leave, what happens to her? What happens if there aren’t any more pieces to pick up? I don’t know who the hell you are anymore dude, but I know her, and I know she deserves a hell of a lot better than this. I can’t just walk away and leave you to it, hoping like hell that you’re gonna do the right thing by her. She’s – we’ve – been through too much for that and the truth of it is, I just plain don’t trust you.”