Absolution(40)

Swimming was great for her mental health as well as her physical health and it complemented the weight training she did at home. The massage and range-of-motion exercises also helped with her back pain and kept her muscles from contracting. In the pool, without the constant pull of gravity, she was able to exercise much more freely, at her own pace. Callum was hoping that the endorphin rush following a good workout would help smooth things over tonight.

He changed into his trunks in the deserted changing rooms, the smell of chlorine clinging to the wooden benches and wet concrete floors. Stashing his clothes in a locker, he grabbed his towel and headed out to the pool. Ally waited for him in her wheelchair near the door, a towel draped over her legs. He forced a smile and threw his own towel haphazardly at the bench running along the wall behind her.

“Hey,” he said, smiling to break the ice.

“We need to talk.”

He had been hoping to delay this until after they swam, but the look on her face said she had other ideas. He mentally prepared himself for the onslaught he could feel coming.

“You were way out of line. You had no right to go storming over there, and what made it worse was that you didn’t even have the guts to tell me, I had to hear it from Maggie!”

Her voice echoed through the building, bouncing off the walls and causing a few stragglers to look over their way.

“Look, I – “

“You lied to me, you lied by omission! You told me you saw my car outside the house, you never said you went in after I left!”

She stared up at him with open resentment, choking back angry tears.

“I’m sorry,” he said immediately. “I should’ve told you, you’re right. Maggie told me you guys talked today, and I know what you want from him but I have to say that I think you’re over-simplifying this whole thing.”

“That’s not the point!”

“Okay, okay – let’s just dial this down a notch, alright? People are staring.”

She took a deep breath, glancing around self-consciously. A man dried himself off nearby and a couple of middle-aged women chatted quietly as they exited the pool, the sound echoing off the high beams above.

“Come on,” he said, making his way over to the bench lining the back wall.

Ally followed, albeit reluctantly.

He sat down with a sigh. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. When I drove by and saw your car there, it freaked me out. I didn’t go in then because I didn’t want you to get stuck in the middle. What I had to say was for Jack’s ears only – it was between us.”

“Except it’s not, is it? I know what you said to him, and I know you were just trying to stop me from getting hurt, but I need to do this. If you really want to help, you can stand behind me, not in front of me.”

The cracks were starting to show. The carefully constructed fa?ade that she had spent years building up, the wall behind which she hid, was starting to crumble. Piece by tiny piece, he could see it falling, the despair seeping through. The tears gathered in her eyes now, further proof that all was not well.

“Whatever he has to say to you isn’t going to fix anything, I promise you that.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I can see what it’s doing to you, him being here!”

“This is my decision, not yours,” she said, tears finally working their way loose. “I need to do this, and I need you to let me.”

He clamped his teeth together, afraid of saying more. What would happen if she found out the truth about why Jack left? She was already in pieces. She was strong, there was no doubt about that, but Jack was her Kryptonite, always had been.

She seemed so much smaller, suddenly. He kept assuring himself that keeping Jack away from her was the right thing to do – deep down, beneath the guilt and the anger, he knew it. He was protecting her, for God’s sake. So why did it feel so wrong?

He reached over to take her hand. “You know I’d do anything for you, but I’m sorry, I’m not sure I can just stand by and watch you do this. The simple truth is, I don’t trust him and I don’t think you should either. You think it hurts now? Just wait Ally, it’s only gonna get worse. When he disappears again – and he will, not because I told him to, but because he’s too much of a coward to stay – it’ll be like he’s tearing you apart all over again. Do you really think you’re ready for that?”

She yanked her hand out from under his, quickly wiping her eyes. “I love how everyone seems to think they know what’s best for me,” she snapped. “Like I need to be wrapped in bubble-wrap and protected from the world. I may have made some mistakes in my life, but newsflash – I’m not made of china, I won’t break.”