Absolution(39)

“In this town? You’ve got to be joking. This is big news. Just ignore it, they’re not talking about you. It’s Jack’s problem, not yours.”

The coffee Ally had been drinking only moments ago turned to ash in her stomach.

“This is your home, you belong here. He doesn’t, not anymore.”

Despite everything, Ally couldn’t help but feel that Jack didn’t deserve this – it was no fun being the subject of gossip. Had everyone forgotten that he had just lost his father?

“Do you realise how hard it must’ve been for him to come back here, after what happened?” she pleaded, trying to make Maggie understand.

“Of course I do. That takes guts, I know that,” Maggie said, keeping her voice low. “But on the other hand, it should be hard for him. Do you really think he should get to waltz back here, no questions asked?”

Ally could feel tears welling up even as she fought for control.

“What happened the other day?” Maggie asked, sitting forward. “One minute you don’t want to talk to him, and the next minute you’re going over there for a chat?”

Ally stared across the table at her friend, trying to figure out how to explain it. “I needed to know.”

“Know what?”

She searched for the right words. When they finally came, tumbling out in a rush, she saw things clearly for the first time since Tom’s death.

“How could he have just left me like that? I thought he loved me. Was what happened to me so awful, he couldn’t stand to even look at me? Why didn’t he come home? I mean, where’s he been all this time?” Her voice caught in her throat. “I tried pretending it didn’t matter, believe me, I tried, but that’s a lie. It matters, it matters a lot. I want answers. I think I deserve them, and now that he’s here, I finally get a chance to ask him.”

“So what did he say when you talked to him? Did he tell you what you wanted to hear?” Maggie folded her arms in front of her on the table.

“Not really. I did most of the talking. He didn’t really say much except how sorry he was.”

“That’s understandable.”

“Yeah, but it’s not what I wanted.”

“You didn’t want an apology?”

“No, not like that. I wanted answers. I need to talk to him again, but I’m worried about Callum.”

“He’s trying to protect you, you realise that, right?”

Ally nodded, tucking her hair behind one ear. “I know that, but I need to do this. It’s the only way I’m gonna find out what really happened. I think Callum needs to talk to him, too – but with his fists tied behind his back.”

“I get it. You have more guts than I do, I’ll tell you that much. Are you sure you’re ready to hear whatever he has to tell you? What if knowing all the details makes it worse, not better?”

“It won’t,” she said, even though deep down she wondered the same thing. “Anything’s better than not knowing.”

“If this is really what you want then I’ll back you up, but promise me you’ll be careful? He broke your heart, he wasn’t there when you needed him most and in my book, that makes him a pretty lousy human being. Just prepare yourself, okay? What he has to say may not be what you want to hear.” Maggie picked at her cuticles for a few moments. “I’m going to tell you something now, something that I promised Callum I wouldn’t. But given everything you’ve just said, I think you need to know.”



By the time Callum arrived at the pool, Ally’s car was one of only a handful in the parking lot. He hauled his swimming bag out of the back seat and headed inside. Maggie had called to warn him earlier, filling him in about her conversation with Ally over coffee. He had been dreading this moment ever since, unsure about what he was walking into but pretty sure it wasn’t going to be pleasant. He took a deep breath as he approached the main doors of the old grey building that housed the community’s pool.

It had taken a while to get Ally interested in swimming as part of her exercise routine. Jogging had been her endorphin rush of choice before the accident, and he knew she missed it. Swimming was within her capabilities though, and he had pushed her into taking it up, joining her at the pool every Sunday night for moral support. He knew she was shy about swimming in public, but he had done his research. He had asked around, attended a few swim sessions on different days and times, and had a couple of casual chats with one of the admin women at the pool. He eventually pieced together that Sunday night from about 7pm was by far the quietest time. Ally was more relaxed without an audience. Once she was in the pool she seemed fine, but she was uncomfortable making the transitions.