Absolution(20)

Those early days had been tough. Jack was gone, but he was there and Ally needed someone she could count on. Unconsciously, he had stepped forward. At times, he had nearly buckled beneath the weight of that responsibility, and that’s when he had turned to Tom, desperately trying to keep it together. Tom encouraged him to unload his fears, not bottle them up.

Watching Ally tentatively navigating her way through her new life nearly tore him apart and no matter how courageous she tried to prove she was, he knew deep down that she was scared. He could see it, plain as day. Jack vanishing like that had done things to her soul. How could Jack just walk away from her?

Knowing that he was back just scratched away at the scab that had grown over the wound created four years earlier. Unlike everyone else, he knew why Jack had left. Unexpected? Yes – but not a mystery. He had seen it tear Ally apart and he had desperately wanted to enlighten her, but he couldn’t. He suspected the truth would be harder for her to stomach, so he had kept quiet. It wasn’t his place to tell her.

He slammed the palm of his hand against the steering wheel, wishing he had never made that promise to Ally. The thought of the funeral, of having to watch in silence as Jack stood up in front of everyone to deliver Tom’s eulogy, made him sick to his stomach. Tom deserved better.



Ally sat in the passenger seat of Callum’s car, staring out the window. She wished the church was further away than just a fifteen minute drive. She would have happily sat in the car for another hour if it meant she could avoid the inevitable for a while longer.

“You okay?”

The concern in Callum’s voice was evident, but the question was so ridiculous she ignored him. To his credit, he didn’t push the issue. Maggie and Jane sat in the back seat in silence. By the time they pulled up in front of the church, she was so tense she wasn’t sure she could move even if she wanted to. As they parked along from the church, cars already lining the street, her anxiety mounted.

“Come on,” Callum said, to no one in particular. “Let’s get this over with.”

She found herself glued to the seat. She stared out through the windshield, searching desperately for courage. One thought rang out louder than the others.

He’s here, somewhere.

Callum opened the passenger door and crouched down beside her. “It’s not too late. You don’t have to do this.”

“Yes I do,” she said, carefully controlling her voice.

“Okay,” he murmured. “If you’re sure. We’re gonna be right beside you.”

He hung her crutches over the car door and stepped back to give her room. Willing her hands to stop shaking, she pulled herself up and out of the car, locking her braces and slipping her arms into her crutches without a word.

Maggie appeared at her side, carefully draping her arm around her shoulders. “Come on, let’s get inside and find a seat.”

Callum waited, then pushed the car door closed behind her. Together, they headed down the street towards the church. Ally found herself having to concentrate harder than usual to co-ordinate her movements. Her shoulders were tense, making progress slow. She wanted to cry, such was the frustration.

“Remember your promise,” Jane whispered to Callum.

Her stomach knotted up even tighter but she kept moving. Her eyes were fixed determinedly on her legs as she threw each hip forward, her legs following suit.

“Can we sit near the back?” she mumbled.

“Absolutely. Good idea.”

As they got to the front steps of the church, she froze. The thought of walking inside made her blood run cold. “I need a minute.”

“It’s okay.” Callum squeezed her arm gently. “We’ll wait. Take your time.”

She took a shuddering breath. “I just need to get my head around this.”

“It’s fine,” he urged Maggie and Jane. “I’ll wait with her, you go ahead, save us a seat.”

Ally opened her mouth to protest, but Callum was quicker. “I’m not leaving you out here by yourself.”

A group of people walked past them into the church.

“Come on, let’s go find somewhere to sit down for a minute.” Callum nodded towards the garden laid out next to the church.

With mature trees and pretty flowerbeds, it was sprinkled with benches donated by parishioners in memory of loved ones. The perfect place to find some solitude and take a breather from the chaos.

As she let Callum usher her away from the steps, she concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. It felt like everyone was watching her. The prodigal son had returned, along with the rumours about why he had left – with herself square in the middle of them.