Absolution(106)

“I’m with you so far.”

“But I didn’t,” Jack ran his hand through his hair, frowning. “I was distracted, and I kinda got carried away. I didn’t go down when I was supposed to. I took him out instead.”

“Shit.”

“I was pretty sure I burnt my bridges as far as Ben was concerned, so I took off, came back here.”

“Shit.”

If Jack was worried about this, it was serious. Serious enough for this guy to track him back here. Serious enough for Jack to crash at his place without putting up too much of a fight.

“I honestly didn’t think he’d find me. I never would have come back here if I thought there was even a snowball’s chance in hell that he could.”

“Yeah,” Callum rubbed a hand down his face, thinking. “Shit.”

“You can stop saying that anytime now,” Jack snapped.

“Sorry.”

Jack took a deep breath and released it slowly, sinking back into the chair.

“How do you think he found you?” Callum asked.

“No idea. He only had my cell number – I’m pretty sure he didn’t even know where I lived. Although he obviously knew more about me than I thought, or he wouldn’t be here.”

“So what makes you think it’s this Ben guy anyway?”

“It won’t be Ben himself, he doesn’t like to get his hands dirty,” he huffed. “He doesn’t need to, he’s got a posse at his disposal.”

Callum eyeballed him from across the table. He looked exhausted and Callum couldn’t help but feel for him. Putting that aside for the moment, his curiosity got the better of him. “How in the hell did you end up in the underground boxing circuit?”

Jack sighed wearily. “Long story.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Jack reached for his beer and took a long swallow. Then he sat back and scratched his chin.

“It just kinda happened,” he shrugged. “I was having a quiet drink in this bar down the street from my apartment. This * started pushing his girlfriend around so I took him outside and punched him in the face. I just wanted him to stop, y’know? He was drunk, she was scared – it was just wrong, and no one else was doing anything about it. So I did. It felt good – felt like I’d done something right for a change.”

This was not the Jack he knew. The Jack he knew didn’t go around looking for an excuse to punch someone.

“So I started working out in the gym on my way home from work – just punching the shit out of stuff, running till I could barely walk – getting everything out, all the crap that was in my head. And the more I worked out, the better I felt. Then one night, I got talking to this guy who said he had a friend who was doing this thing where he was fighting for money. Asked if I was interested. I thought yeah, why not? It wasn’t like I had anything to lose. So I went along with him and I got into the ring with this other guy.”

“And what happened?”

“He beat the snot out of me,” Jack smiled wryly. “Took me three weeks to recover.”

Callum shook his head, frowning. “I don’t get it. Why not just call it a day there and then? Why go back for more?”

“Because it felt good, it felt right, somehow. Don’t ask.”

“Getting the shit kicked out of you felt right?” Callum frowned.

“I told you not to ask.” Jack shrugged half-heartedly. “Anyway, after a few fights, something happened – I started fighting back. Channeling my frustrations, I guess. I don’t know.”

He sank back into his chair again. By contrast, Callum felt like a coiled spring. When he had seen him attack Andy that night, he knew something was different about Jack, but he’d had no idea how different.

“We’ve all done stuff we’re not proud of,” he said.

Jack snorted derisively. “You sound like Ally.”

“I’m guessing she doesn’t know about any of this?”

“No, and she’s not going to either, not if I can help it. These were my choices – more shitty ones, as it turns out, but mine just the same. I don’t want her thinking that any of this has got anything to do with her.”

Callum leaned forward and grabbed his beer bottle off the coffee table, taking a long pull. “It has though – got something to do with her,” he dangled the bottle between his knees. “You put yourself through all this because of what happened.”