Absolution(110)

“If it were any other night but tonight, I’d say it’s a great idea,” Callum frowned. “But the pool is really not the place for a conversation like that. She goes to swim, it’s not a social thing.”

“I appreciate what you’re saying, but I think it’s the perfect place. You said I should fight for her, right? Well, that’s what I’m doing.”

“Right. I said that,” Callum mumbled, scratching his chin. “If it’s what you really want, fine, but just remember that this was your idea, not mine. Don’t come crying to me because she didn’t react the way you thought she would. And be patient with her. She’s way outside her comfort zone there.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

“You’re on dinner duty, then we’ll call it even.”

“Sounds fair,” Jack smiled, clearly relieved.

“I’m going to go wash up. Kitchen’s through there, in case you’ve forgotten,” he said, pointing to it helpfully as he headed for the bathroom. “You need to borrow some trunks?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”





CHAPTER 20




“How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them.”

- Benjamin Franklin




Ally concentrated on stacking her clothes neatly in her bag and piling it into the locker at the pool. She didn’t usually mind the smell of chlorine, but tonight it kept getting stuck in her throat. She felt sick.

Confusion raged within her, adding to the nausea. What was up with Jack lately? Just when they had begun to make progress, he had backed off. Maybe Callum knew what was going on? If she could pluck up the courage, she would ask him tonight. The problem was, part of her was afraid to hear what he might have to say.

Irritated, she slammed the locker shut and made her way out of the changing room and out into the pool area.

There was no sign of Callum and she wasn’t in the mood to wait. She had spent almost all week waiting, and look where that had gotten her.

Tied up in knots, that’s where. You’ve let him do it to you all over again. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

She sat poolside, glancing around. There were a few people in the pool, and a couple making their way back to the changing rooms, but other than that, no audience. She quickly moved the towel off her lap and laid it down on the concrete at the edge of the pool, near the steps. Transferring down onto the towel, she sat with her legs dangling in the water, reaching down to check the temperature. Glancing around again, no one seemed to be paying her any attention, so she leant forward and allowed gravity to pull her into the water. As soon as the water swallowed her up, she felt more at peace. The rushing in her ears drowned out the voices in her head and she headed towards the swimming lane at a slow crawl.

Getting lost in the rhythm of stroke after stroke, she came up for air at the end of her second lap, breathing heavily. She held on to the edge of the pool and looked around for Callum. There were four swimmers in the lanes next to her, but it was impossible to tell if Callum was one of them. Wiping the water out of her eyes, she turned to do another lap, consciously slowing her pace. Her arms pulled her through the water smoothly and she concentrated on each stroke, counting them to try and clear her head.

By the time she had reached the end of the pool, Callum was not even a consideration and she turned to complete another lap without pausing for breath. She swam like this for several more laps, slow and steady, until she could feel the muscles in her shoulders and upper back burning. Her breath became harder and harder to regulate. The self-preservation valve in her head warned her that she was close to the danger point and she reluctantly conceded, turning to head slowly towards the submerged concrete steps in the corner of the pool.

When she reached the steps, she sat down and waited, the heated water keeping her warm. She watched the other swimmers as she caught her breath. Their smooth, powerful strokes cut through the water’s surface, their feet kicking up trailing tufts of water. They made it look so easy, so graceful. For a moment, she was overcome with suffocating jealousy.

It’s not fair.

Averting her gaze, she moved down onto the next step, watching her hands flutter in the water in front of her as she tried to distract herself. No, it wasn’t fair. But it was life, and she had made the decision to live it, no matter what.

Stop feeling so damn sorry for yourself. No one likes hearing that.

When she looked up, she recognised Callum swimming towards her. Finally, a chance to get rid of some of the stuff cluttering up her head. He surfaced in front of her, treading water.