A Rake's Ruin (Devilish Lords #1)(49)

When she pulled back, he saw that her cheeks were flushed and her eyes held that wild twinkle he recognized and adored. His little minx was set free once more. In that moment he vowed that once she was his wife, she would never have to hide her true nature any longer.

“I…” Her voice faded off and he saw her nibble on her lower lip. Lord, was she trying to torment him? He forced himself to keep his hands to himself. She needed to say what she’d come to say and he needed to hear it, even if it wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

He’d already won, he reminded himself. Even if she had her doubts, she had given him time and he would devote his life to proving to her that she could trust him with her heart.

She licked her lips and took a deep breath. “I love…that.” She reached a hand up and touched his temple.

He widened his eyes in surprise at her words. “You love what, exactly?”

Her smile grew a bit more confident as she took a deep breath. “I love the way you look at me.”

Her words were soft and simple but they cut him to the core. When he spoke, his voice was husky and low with emotion. “Aye, that would be because you see the love I have for you, I imagine.”

She beamed at that, her eyes softening and growing dewy with emotion.

This was a whole new side of his beloved that he’d never seen before, he realized with a start. He’d never seen her so overcome with emotion and the sight of it made her beauty radiant.

“It’s not just that,” she said, and then her cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink. “Do not misunderstand. I do love that as well, but it’s more than the fact that you love me.”

He hadn’t thought she could grow any more flushed but saying the words ‘you love me’ made her a vibrant red that was decidedly fetching. A base portion of his mind had already set to work figuring out how he could see that blush more often…preferably in his bed.

“I love the way you look at me,” she repeated. “I love what you see. I love the way you see me.” She laughed softly and looked down at her intertwined hands. “I am not saying this right.”

It was hard to speak when his heart was lodged in his throat. “I think I understand.”

Her head snapped up and she peered at him with blatant curiosity. “Do you?” She sighed. “Maybe you do. I have a hard time understanding it, myself.”

He took a moment to pick his words wisely. “I think perhaps loving someone means seeing the best in them even when they cannot see it.”

Her smile was bashful and sweet. “I am not certain what you see is the best of me, at least not by society’s standards.” She wet her lips, moving her hands up his chest to clasp behind his neck. “When I am with you, I feel wild. Out of control, even. I feel…free.”

His lungs constricted with so much feeling, it nearly overwhelmed him. “Good. Free is exactly how I want you.”

He heard her swift inhale and knew his words touched her like hers had done to him. Then she whispered, “It’s terrifying.”

He laughed. He couldn’t help it. “You’re right, it is.”

She arched her brows, amusement lighting her eyes. “You’re frightened too?”

He nodded, leaning down to plant a kiss on her nose. “Most definitely. Don’t be fooled by my swagger, love. I may have a reputation with women, but you are the only woman who has touched my heart.”

She smiled but the beauty of it was marred by a flash of guilt. “I am sorry,” she said quietly. “What I said earlier…what I suggested…I was doing you a disservice. I was suggesting you would act unfaithfully just because that is what I have seen in my experience.”

He reached a hand up to smooth the worried lines from her brow. “I understand, sweetheart. You haven’t had many good examples of what a happy marriage could look like, have you? Just like you never anticipated that you might have one for yourself.”

She nodded and let out a long breath. “I should have known you would understand. That seems to be a skill of yours, understanding my behavior even when I don’t truly understand it myself.”

He leaned in so he could inhale her heavenly scent and revel in her warmth. “I see you, love. And I love what I see.”

He felt her smile against his cheek and his body warmed in response. When she started to draw near, he almost protested, but the look in her eyes stopped him.

The air rushed out of his lungs at the depth of emotions he saw there. She might not have said the words I love you, but he saw it there in her eyes. One day he would hear them, but for now, this was enough. This was more than enough.

Her gaze met his and she gave him another small, shy smile. “I see you too, you know.”

Some of his joy was buffeted by a wave of nerves. If that was true and she saw deep inside of his soul the way he understood her… well, he was not sure she would like what she saw.

He wasn’t sure he liked what he saw most days when he looked in the mirror.

She unclasped her hands and this time it was her turn to smooth the concern from his features. “I see the true and loyal friend beneath that air of frivolity you wear so well,” she said. “I see the kind, caring man you hide beneath that nonchalant fa?ade. I see the man who makes me laugh, who loves to challenge me; I see the man who believes in freedom and honor and—”