A Matter Of Justice (Grey Justice #4)(45)

“When did you find out?”

“The night I killed Hill. He told me in a casual manner. As if it was just a bit of news I might be interested in knowing. As if it meant nothing.”

“You don’t remember him?”

“No. As you know, most of my life before Hill is just a blur of senses—smells, fear, hunger. I have no recall of a brother, or anyone else.”

They had been down this road so many times before. He wished to his soul that he could change her past—give her some good memories. All she had was the horror of the truth. Purchased by Hill Reed from a drug-addicted woman who might or might not have been her mother. If Reed hadn’t bought her, she would have likely died in the streets or been sold to another monster. Instead, she had been taken into a house filled with killers and thrown into another kind of hell.

“And Reed made him into an assassin.”

“Yes. Just like me.”

“No, baby, not just like you.”

She looked at him then, pain so intense in her gray eyes they appeared almost black. “Why not like me, Grey? I am what he made me.”

“You damn well are not. Let’s not go down this path again, Irelyn. You left that life a long time ago.”

“Did I?”

Grey rubbed his gritty eyes. Damn, he was tired, but he could not let this go. She had killed her brother tonight to save his life.

“Are you sure Reed didn’t lie?” The bastard had certainly been capable of it. From all he knew about Hill Reed, one of his greatest joys had been screwing with people’s emotions and minds.

“That was my hope for a while, but the more I thought about it, the more I decided it wouldn’t have made sense for him to lie. Yes, if he thought it would hurt me, or elicit a desired response, he would have. But that’s not the way the conversation went. It was…” Her hands fluttered as she tried to explain. “It was just a little aside. Like an ‘Oh, by the way, I stopped at the bakery and bought some bagels’ kind of remark. Like it really wasn’t that important.” She shrugged. “I believed him.”

“Did you try to contact Kevin when you found out? Try to talk to him?”

“No. I had no idea who he was. Didn’t even know his name then.”

“The bastard wouldn’t tell you?”

“He didn’t get the chance. He—”

“That’s why you were giving him CPR.”

“He dropped several bombshells in a row. Admitted he had nothing to do with Jonah’s supposed death and told me my brother was working as an assassin for him.” She shrugged. “I don’t know if he would have told me his name. He probably wouldn’t have if he knew how very badly I wanted to know.”

“That’s what you’ve been working on all this time. Why you killed those assassins. Why you wanted to get Sebastian Dark’s attention. You needed to get back inside Hill House to find your brother.”

“I knew Dark wouldn’t let me in, especially not to stay there for any length of time. It was the only thing I could think to do to impress him, to get him to invite me to stay. I had to prove myself.”

“And you couldn’t kill any of his people since you didn’t know which one was your brother.”

“I couldn’t have anyway. That would’ve just pissed Dark off. I tried to choose the most hideous killers.”

“The ones who targeted children.”

“Yes.”

“Do you think Kevin recognized you?”

“I think so. He called me Irelyn. And I saw a glimmer of recognition, an acknowledgment maybe, of our connection. I think I remember him from my time at Hill House. I think I saw him. I don’t know. I just don’t know.”

Grey closed his eyes. Shit, this was so messed up. “I would do anything to take away that pain.”

“I know you would, Grey.” She rubbed her forehead, and he noted her hands were shaking. She was on the edge.

“Do you want me to call Dr. Tobin?”

The therapist had helped Irelyn immensely and wouldn’t be at all surprised to hear from her in the middle of the night.

“Why? So she can tell me again that I have nothing to feel guilty about?”

“He would have killed me, Irelyn. You saved my life. Do you regret that?”

“No. Of course I don’t.”

He had known the answer to that, but hoped to help her with some perspective. Even as volatile and unusual as their relationship was at times, he knew her feelings for him were deep. Their emotional bond had been honed by blood and death, but their relationship was also the truest, most honest one he’d ever possessed. Even in the midst of unimaginable pain, they had an unbreakable bond. She had tried to sever their connection, and now he knew why.

Everything was making sense again, but he couldn’t get past one issue. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would have helped.”

“And that’s exactly why. I just…I just…” She rubbed her forehead again. “I need some sleep. I can’t think straight.”

Meaning her defenses were down and she was likely to be completely honest. His head told him to push her and find out everything. Even though they had few secrets between them, Irelyn was so multifaceted that there were times when he had no clue what was going on in her beautiful head. His heart told him something else. She had been through too much. Hell, he still didn’t know how she’d been injured. Cutting her some slack and letting her rest seemed a small allowance. He’d have to tear down the walls again tomorrow, but that was another day.