A Guide to Being Just Friends(97)

He didn’t realize he was shouting until he stopped.

“Can I tell him?” Noah stood up.

“Don’t be a jackass, Noah,” Chris said.

Approaching Wes, he put both hands on his shoulders, looked him square in the eye. “It’s too late.”

Wes stared at him, wondering what that meant. His head hurt.

“You already love her.”

He shook his head. “No. I’ve been very careful about my feelings.”

“Your heart doesn’t give a shit,” Noah said, shrugging like what he was saying was of no consequence.

Chris stood up, knocked Noah’s arm so he dropped them both. “The thing is, this isn’t something you can plan, control, or navigate. You love her. You can tell yourself you don’t but the emptiness you’re feeling is the truth. That’s what you have to look forward to now, so I have a question.”

He crossed his arms. “What?”

“The way you’re feeling right now? Would you rather feel this for the rest of your life or take a chance, admit what you really feel, and do everything in your power to hang on tight and never let her go?”

The silence felt like a weight on his chest. Breathing through his nose, he thought about what he was feeling right now compared to how he felt in Hailey’s presence. He thought about the way she looked at him, the part of him that had felt like dancing when she’d said the three words. The way his heart leaped when he saw her.

“But what if…” He trailed off.

“There’s no guarantees, man. Not in real estate, investments, or love. But we’ve done pretty well trusting our instincts,” Noah said.

He stared at his brothers, wondering if they could be right. Hailey had called him a coward. Was she right, too? He was definitely scared, but a more terrifying thought jumped around in his brain: What if he had to live the rest of his life without her?

Was it possible that telling her he loved her—admitting that he did—was less scary than walking away? On one hand, the idea of professing his feelings made his skin itch, but the idea of never trying, never seeing her again made his body feel like there was an empty cavern no amount of light could fill.

“I need to get her back,” Wes said.

“Man, that took a while,” Noah said, grinning.

Chris laughed. “Come on, Noah. We took our time figuring out how to get it right, too.”

Noah nodded, clapped Wes on the back. “He’s right. We did. Which means, we can help.”





42


The next few days were a bit of a blur. Noah and Chris got it in their heads that Wes had been holding out on them as far as his ability to create computer games. Wes didn’t see how this could be a surprise to them seeing as he’d created multiple apps and accrued interest on the revenue from those.

He was happy they were pushing him to explore ways to pursue creating a full-version game, if for no other reason than it was keeping him busy. It kept him from standing outside Hailey’s door, begging her to talk to him, to forgive him. He’d learned enough about her now to know that a simple “I’m sorry” wasn’t going to cut it. He’d hurt her. More than that, he’d diminished her trust in what they shared.

He knocked on the door, his nerves feeling like needles poking into his skin. When Piper answered, she gave him a cool glare but gestured for him to come in.

“I appreciate you seeing me,” Wes said. It’d been a week since he last saw Hailey. It had taken all of his willpower to avoid her shop, avoid calling or texting.

“This better be good.” She led him into the kitchen, where Fiona was waiting. The other woman didn’t smile at him.

“Fiona.” He nodded.

“Wes.”

Right. At least Hailey had strong, loyal supports in place. “Thank you for letting me come here.”

“You hurt her. When Dorian left, she went into planning mode. It was like she’d known it was over even before it was. Sure, her pride took a hard hit but it didn’t knock her down. Not completely.” Piper held his gaze as she relayed this information. “You did. There’s a piece of her that’s changed. How are you going to fix it?”

Wes shoved his hands in his pockets, his heart hurting with the realization of the pain he’d inflicted. This was what it was like to love someone? You felt their pain more acutely than your own? The need to fix everything he’d broken was spiraling inside of him. He’d spent considerable time thinking about that very thing. His need for control, his desire to fix and help was his way of making sure he took care of the people he cared for. The people he loved. But there was more to loving someone than just “fixing” things.

“I’m not sure I can.”

Both of their mouths dropped open so he hurried on. “I hurt her and I can’t even begin to tell you how much I hate that I did. I can’t undo it or go back in time. Hell, I may mess up in the future and hurt her again. Though, it’ll never be my intention to do that. If I could absorb her hurt, I would. Instead, I want to show her how much she means to me. I want to show her that she’s part of me and it’ll always be my goal to fill her life with happiness, not tears. But I need help.” The words were unfamiliar to him.

Maybe he was overly hopeful but he was almost positive he saw a sheen in Piper’s gaze and a hint of a smile on Fiona’s mouth. In an unintentionally synchronized move, both women crossed their arms over their chests. They didn’t tell him to leave so he shook off his nerves, approached the counter, and set his hands on the edge to give himself something to hold on to.