A Family Affair(69)

Anna’s eyes grew wide and she mockingly looked around. “It must be working. There hasn’t been a man in sight around here, except your brother.”

“I’m serious. I’ve been trying to get a man since sixth grade and none stick. I quit.”

“Jessie, you’ve had a lot of boyfriends!” Anna argued.

“That’s right, when all I ever wanted was one good one! The new Jessie is a single woman who answers to no one!”

Anna laughed. “I thought you never did!”

“I was faking it. This time it’s going to be on purpose. They always dump me. I must be impossible as a girlfriend, so I’m going to quit being that.”

Anna hugged her close. “Whatever you want. You will always have me. For as long as I last.”

“Tell me what’s going on with Jenn?” Anna asked Mike.

It was just the two of them, sitting at the kitchen table with coffee on a Sunday morning. And for once Jessie and Bess were not around.

“Well, all my feelings were flat,” Mike said. “I had been struggling with losing Dad and I thought there was no room in my head or my heart for Jenn. So I suggested we break it off—at least for a while. Biggest mistake I ever made.”

“But why?” Anna asked.

“I just wasn’t feeling in love anymore,” he said. “I wasn’t feeling anything except the grief of losing someone I loved. So when I tried to pick up the pieces, Jenn was mad and not very forgiving. She’s still mad.”

“What exactly is she mad about?”

“She said I’m immature. That I don’t have the determination to stick around when things get tough. Now that I look back, I see her point. But I was suddenly afraid I’d never be as great a father and husband as my dad. And now I find out my dad wasn’t that great.”

“Oh, Michael...”

“Well, he did some pretty awful things we never knew about.”

“He did some pretty human things,” Anna said. “Don’t get the idea I think what he did was okay, but there’s hardly a person alive who is without flaws. Your dad needed a lot of love and support. More than I did, when you get down to it. You’re a lot like him.”

“That would have been a compliment six months ago,” Michael said.

“It’s still a compliment,” she said. “He was a good man who did good things. He was a good father, except he may have failed Amy. What’s most important to me is that you don’t make some of the same bad choices.”

“Like what?”

“Well, like thinking you have to be filled with feelings of being in love all the damn time. No one is in love every minute. But once we make a commitment we stick around, and when those days aren’t perfect, act like they are. Show your partner love and respect, anyway. Worry about her for once. It’s not all about you and your special little feelings.”

“Is that what Dad did?”

“Look, ninety percent of the time he was a loving, giving, supportive guy. But ten percent of the time he was not in love and he moped around like he was walking to the gallows, looking for someone to make him feel better. Someone to prop him up and rescue him. No one wants that job. Jenn was telling you that she was glad to be patient and kind and help you through your grief if she could, but if you’re just going to abandon her when times get hard, who signs up for that?”

“I didn’t really mean—”

“Yes, you really meant that,” she said. “Your feelings were a little off so you thought if you abandoned her, you’d somehow get it together. But it didn’t work. It takes compromise and sacrifice to make a partnership work. From both people, not just the girl.”

“Is that what I did?”

“Sounds like it. Michael, sometimes a good partner puts his needs and desires last, making sure to nurture his woman’s needs and desires. And you know what? I bet you’d feel better faster.”

“I might be too late,” he said. “And now I’m screwed because I really do love her.”

“Then find a way to throw yourself on her mercy. Apologize. Tell her you lost your head and made a mistake. And while you’re at it, promise you won’t do that again and mean it. You know there’s a real trick to making a good relationship last.”

“What’s that?”

“Keep your promises,” she said. “And stay. Never run out. Stay.”



FIFTEEN


Jessie went into the city alone. She stopped by her practice to check in with the staff. Her assistant, Heather, hugged her. “You look so well rested!” Heather exclaimed.

“I don’t know how that’s possible. I’ve been even busier than as a working physician!”

“How’s your mom doing?”

“She’s doing great actually. There was no paralysis. But of course she isn’t driving yet. She’s still in PT, to which I drive her, and uses a walker about half the time because she can get unsteady. Her neurologist is monitoring her, and until he’s convinced she’s stable, she’s going to be a passenger. Her clerk is bringing some work to the house, slowly building up the amount of time she puts in, but honestly, you’d never know she had a close call. Her memory is back to as good as ever, though she has no memory at all of the stroke, the ambulance, the thirty-six or so hours that her brain was scrambled in ICU. And she looks better than ever. Probably from the extra rest, though the fatigue irritates her.”