A Family Affair(29)

“You said he contributed to your welfare,” Anna reminded her.

“Not at first, but later. My mother said he checked in with her occasionally, asking how I was getting along, asking how my mother was getting along, if there was anything either of us was doing without. He contributed to my welfare, though there was never a set amount either monthly or annually. My mother said she had been determined from the moment she found out I was coming that she would be a good single mother.”

“But how? What did she do?”

“She was a nurse,” Amy said. “Probably why I’m a nurse practitioner.”

“And she had a good marriage, in the end?” Anna asked.

Amy took a deep breath. “My mother and Bill were married for seventeen years. Bill had a drinking problem but he’s been sober since they separated. They divorced amicably. He’s still a part of the family, and when my mother was sick and then in hospice care, Bill was very much a part of our lives.”

“How old were you when she passed away?” Anna asked.

“I was twenty-two,” Amy said. “I had barely graduated. It was after that that I contacted my father. I wanted to let him know. We got together twice—we had two very long lunches to catch up. It would be fair to say we never had a real relationship. But he contributed to my college education.”

“Even your graduation and wedding...?”

“My mother said he attended my graduation but didn’t sit with the family and he wasn’t invited to my wedding. My mother had passed by then and it was Bill who walked me down the aisle. I did see my father one more time—to tell him he was going to be a grandfather. After twenty-eight years of knowing he was my father, it was that thing that rattled him. He actually cried. That was the first and only time we ever talked about the fact that I have siblings who don’t know I exist. That was the first time I had a whiff of regret from him. The first and only time he seemed to be sorry.”

“About those siblings,” Anna ventured. “Do you want to know them?”

“That’s really irrelevant, isn’t it? Do they want to know me?”

“I have no idea,” she said. “After all, I just learned about you and my husband is dead! I knew there had been an affair...”

“According to my mother, not much of one. But it only takes a moment to make a baby. When did you find out?”

“It was spring. I had a new baby.”

“Oh, how terrible,” Amy said, then instinctively reached for her baby, lifting her out of her swing and holding her close.

“Of course I didn’t know there was a child. I thought there was only another woman and that was difficult in itself.”

“Did he confess?” Amy asked.

Anna shook her head. “I accused him of seeing another woman, of having an affair. I was relentless and eventually he admitted there had been.”

“But you didn’t leave him,” Amy said. It was not a question.

“I stayed. I didn’t really have the means to support two small children, work, take care of a house and family... And he said he didn’t want a divorce. He wanted to be forgiven. It was a very long time before I could. Your mother must have had an equally difficult time.”

“I don’t remember it being hard, but I was so young. We lived with my grandparents and I was spoiled, an only grandchild. I actually had a very good life. I always felt something was missing but I can’t say I suffered. I didn’t ever suffer, not even later, when I was older. I just wanted to know why our family was different.”

“I grew up in a different family, too,” Anna said. “Mine was like yours. I never knew my father and he died before I ever had a chance. He didn’t help my mother and there were no grandparents. And now I’m a lawyer who specializes in the needs of women and children who are abandoned. I should rephrase, I’m a judge. Of course I’m a lawyer who became a judge. I should be a little pleased that Chad offered support. It was the responsible thing to do.” She laughed and shook her head. “Amazing the way things come full circle.”

“Will you tell your children?” Amy asked.

“I’ll have to tell them,” Anna said. “They have a right to know they have a sister.”

“How do you think they’ll take it?” she asked, and Anna couldn’t help but notice she shuddered slightly.

“I have absolutely no idea,” she said.

They talked for another two hours, going over the details of their lives and families. At one point Amy brought out a photo album and showed Anna pictures of her mother, stepfather, grandparents, half siblings, holiday photos, graduations and such. “I don’t know if I’m relieved or jealous—your mother was so beautiful.”

“But you’re beautiful, Anna,” she said.

“No one thinks of me as beautiful,” Anna scoffed.

“I bet everyone does.”

“No,” she said with a laugh. “No, my husband once told me he thought I was the most capable woman he knew. You know how I met him? Wait till I tell you...”

Anna went to see Blanche in the assisted living residence, though it was not her regularly scheduled visit. She was thinking about Amy and her family and Chad. She liked Amy quite a lot. She was acutely aware that under different circumstances, she might hate her. But she was a fully mature woman with a baby. Her mother was dead and she had no extended family, really, except her stepfather. And it was no small matter that Chad was also dead. And this all was something that happened in the long ago.