A Family Affair(25)

“Do you?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” she said. “God knows I don’t want to.”

“Why? Are you worried about how it’s going to make them see their father?”

“No. I’m worried about how it’s going to make them see me.”

Anna and Joe talked for a long time, through at least three glasses of wine each and some Thai takeout. Anna told him she had always seen her life and her marriage as fairly simple. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but compared to the relationships some of her clients struggled with, hers was uncomplicated by comparison. She knew Chad well; she knew exactly what she could trust. And she knew exactly what she didn’t want to know.

She didn’t want to know just how unfaithful he had been because that would inevitably lead to just how little he valued their relationship. Their marriage. Before Bess was conceived, while they were still knocking around the idea of divorce, Chad continued to praise her, but he didn’t tell her he loved her. She would ask him from time to time and he would answer, “Of course I love you, Anna. I will always love you. You’re the mother of my children.”

She had been asking herself for more than twenty years if that was a compliment or more the lesser of evils.

Joe’s expression changed slightly when she said that. “What?” she asked. “Why did you suddenly look uncomfortable?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “What a bastard,” he said. “You were the wronged party and he didn’t do much to make you feel vindicated.”

“From that time on I always suspected I was just one of many. He might not have been sleeping with many women, I’ll never really know. But you know Chad. He was a flirt and a man who thrived on the attention he got from women.”

“That much is true,” Joe said. “Who among us hasn’t been guilty of that? You don’t have to answer, but did you take a lover?”

She just shook her head. “I took a career.”

And no ordinary career. She became a popular talk show guest and experienced expert witness. Eventually, she was appointed to a superior court justice position. Her honor.

Chad became quite well-known in the city, having done a great deal to support charities. And Anna became well-known for her position as a judge whose verdicts were thoughtful and fair.

It was after ten when Anna reclined on the couch and nodded off. She was vaguely aware of Joe covering her with a throw, which she pulled around herself as she yielded to sleep. In the early predawn, the house dark but for a stove light in the kitchen, she rose, found her sweater and purse and set about leaving. After a visit to the bathroom, she went to the kitchen and began scribbling a note on the notepad that listed eggs, bread, mayo and laundry detergent.

“You’re leaving?” Joe asked from the shadows.

She jumped. “Oh! Did I wake you?”

“Not really. I heard you moving around. You’re leaving?”

“I thought I’d go home, curl up in my own bed.”

“You can stay. You can have my bed if that would be more comfortable.”

“Thanks, but I think I’d rather find my own bed. And I’ve taken enough of your time and sympathy.”

“I didn’t mind, you know. Any time you need me...” He gently grabbed her shoulders. “Are you all right to drive?”

“Sure. It’s been hours since I’ve had alcohol.”

“Will you text me when you’re home safely?”

“Okay. It’s a long drive, you know.”

“I know. I’d appreciate the text. And I’d like to say, when this storm passes, remember that it’s all right for you to be happy. To think of yourself sometimes instead of putting everyone else first. That’s what you’ve been doing, I know. This next stage, this can be yours.”

“Thanks, Joe,” she said. “No one has ever said that to me before.”



SIX


Jessie McNichol was a beautiful woman, so the only person surprised that Dr. Patrick Monahan was attracted to her was Jessie. People often told her she was beautiful but Jessie thought of herself as vulnerable and naive. She fell in love quickly, totally and frequently. And, usually, tragically. She had tallied up a string of heartbreaks a mile long, starting with Ryan Siverhorn in the sixth grade.

Patrick Monahan was sexy and enormously accomplished in his field. Even though he’d been single for years, she had never heard any hospital gossip about him dating or being involved but she instinctively knew she would be the envy of every woman who knew, maybe even the married ones. And for the ninety-secondth time, she thought, Maybe this is it. She was not the least troubled by their age difference.

He phoned her as he said he would, and even though it was very late when he called, they chatted for an hour. He sent her a text in the morning saying he very much enjoyed their chat. He wasn’t due any time off for a few days after returning to town, but he called and their talks grew more personal and entertaining. It took exactly two days for her to begin to look forward to his calls and she learned so much about him. For one thing, he was so kind and tender. He asked repeatedly how she was doing with missing her father, something she needed to be asked. She really needed someone besides her mother to care. And he told her what sorts of things made him happy. Good fiction lit him up; he looked forward to having a great story to read and hated to see it end too soon, but of course he read too fast—a by-product of medical school. He loved live music, as did she. And movies. They began a list of books, concerts and movies they wanted to see together.