Within These Walls (Within These Walls #1)(44)

“Small farms with ancient stone fences dot the landscape for miles with crystal-blue water in the distance. If you look out far enough, you can see a set of islands. Maybe we’ll take a boat later in the day and climb the ancient stone steps up to the top?”

“You can do that?”

“When the weather is right, and today, it’s just perfect,” he answered.

“You’ve been there?”

“With my mom when I was really young.”

I listened to the soft murmur of his voice as he described our idyllic day in Ireland. The deep cadence and even tone eventually began to lull me to sleep. Soft, warm lips touched my forehead moments before I felt sleep pulling me into its tight grasp.

“This was just a placeholder, Lailah,” he whispered. “Someday, we will have our day on the Irish countryside along with countless other perfect days. You aren’t going anywhere. You can’t…”

As the last remaining bits of consciousness were swallowed up by darkness, I swore that I heard him say, “Because I love you.”

Sixteen: Place Holders—Jude

I HATED LEAVING her, but I had to make arrangements. I had plans, ones that involved favors and provisions. I listened to her breaths even out as her head shifted lazily to the side. I pulled the notebook out from her grasp and set it on the tray table beside her. I didn’t bother sneaking a peek at the mysterious list hidden within.

I’d already done that. I might be an ass**le for disrespecting her wishes, but I’d had good intentions. I wanted to make each and every one of her dreams come true—minus the one I’d promised her would never happen. I couldn’t help but want to surprise her a little along the way.

Lying in bed with her while creating a vision of us walking along the countryside of Ireland had given me an idea.

Place holders.

What if I could do that with more of her dreams?

She was stuck here within the walls of this hospital, but that didn’t mean she had to be walled in.

So, while her eyes were closed, I’d snuck a peek.

I’d respected her enough not to look at the top of the list. I knew number one was off-limits, and honestly, I wanted her to share it with me when she was ready. It was obviously important to her. So, in my five-second glance while her eyes were closed and her mind was across the Atlantic, I’d found my first place card.

And now, I was on a mission.

“You’re insane.” Grace laughed after I’d explained my plan for the evening. She was behind the nurses’ station, checking charts and punching things into the computer.

I leaned forward, shaking my head at her ridiculous attire. She was wearing Minnie Mouse scrubs today. Each Minnie Mouse scattered all over her was dressed in a pair of tiny pink scrubs. It was nauseating, but on her, it seemed to fit.

“You’re not the first person to tell me that today. Will you help me?” I asked.

“I’d do anything for Lailah. What do you need?”

I went over my plan, watching as her eyes lit up and softened. She nodded her head and offered her help where she could. I left a few minutes later, ready to tackle my next task. I was grateful Lailah had an amazing friend like Grace.

I’d barely made it down the hall when I heard my name being called out behind me. I swiveled around and found Margaret and her itchy wool suit hot on my tail.

“Jude, you’re just the person I was looking for. Care to take a walk with me to my office?” she asked as she tugged at the hem of her blazer.

“Sure, but you know I’m not actually clocked in, right?”

She took in my appearance and gave a hesitant nod. “Yes, I’m aware, but I’m afraid this can’t wait.”

Fuck.

I followed her to the elevator where we took one silent, awkward ride down to the floor where HR was located. When the door opened, I motioned for her to exit first, and I followed behind, letting my mind run rampant as I thought about my less than stellar behavior over the past few days.

She is going to fire me.

My plans, my precious plans, will be destroyed.

As Margaret unlocked the door to her office, it dawned on me that with the idea of losing my job, my first thought had been the idea that I wouldn’t be able to carry through with my plans for fulfilling Lailah’s Someday list. It’d had nothing to do with sitting on the bench, staring into the room where Megan had died.

I shoved that thought back down to the recess of my brain to ponder another day, and I took a seat across from Margaret in the sparse small office. She leaned back in her chair and folded her hands neatly in front of her. Her eyes darted down at the scattered papers on her desk and then back up at me. She didn’t want to be here either.

“I heard you’ve been spending a lot of time with a certain patient, Jude.”

“Yes, I have,” I answered, not bothering to elaborate or explain.

“I was told you might have feelings for this patient that go beyond professional.”

“I do.”

She let out a long sigh. “Look, the hospital can’t do anything unless the patient or her family file a complaint—”

“And have they?” I asked, interrupting her.

“No.”

“So, why am I here, Margaret?” I asked coldly.

“Because there has been some concern about your job performance, Jude. You made quite the commotion the other night, and it didn’t go unnoticed. I get that you feel for this girl—”