Whispers in the Dark (KGI #4)(61)

And everything she’d thought she’d ever know about herself—her life—was all a lie.

Nathan kissed her shoulder again, and his hand slipped up and down her other arm in a soothing pattern. His brothers and Swanny looked curiously at her, their gazes going from her face to the journal she held so tightly in her grasp.

“I don’t even know how to explain it.” Numbness was rapidly spreading through her veins until she felt disembodied.

“Start from the beginning,” Donovan said gently. “What did you mean by they weren’t your real parents?”

Her breath hiccupped out of her mouth and her shoulders drooped with fatigue and disillusionment. “Apparently my parents…the people who raised me…were scientists. They were heading a top-secret, government-funded project. No one but a few high-ranking government officials even knew of its existence, and they were all military officials. My mother remarked in her journal that it was doubtful the president or members of Congress ever knew about the project.”

“What the hell were they researching?” Ethan asked.

“They weren’t researching,” Shea said softly. “They were creating. Me and my sister, Grace. Though now I wonder if she’s even my sister.”

Nathan stiffened against her. “Wait a minute. Back up.”

She stood, suddenly no longer able to sit still against him. She paced away and then turned to face the assembled group again.

“According to my mother…” She shook her head and swallowed back the knot in her throat. “According to Andrea Peterson, Grace and I were lab-created experiments. Who knows who my real parents were. I doubt they even knew each other. They chose ‘samples’ from a selection of people who were particularly gifted and possessed ‘unusual talents,’ though none of the so-called abilities are outlined in her journal. And then these samples were basically mixed, implanted in a volunteer uterus, and they took the baby when it was born.”

The looks of horror on the men’s faces were a mirror of her own disgust. Nathan’s face was drawn tight, his eyes dark, nearly black.

“What was their objective?” Ethan asked.

Shea sighed. “I don’t know. I’m not even sure Andrea knew. She was told they were going to study psychic anomaly occurring in the human population and how or if it could be reproduced through controlled experiments. But she grew increasingly more concerned with the way Grace and I were used. She expressed guilt and remorse for being part of a ‘devil’s creation.’ ”

Tears burned the edges of her eyes. Devil’s creation. That was what her own mother considered her and Grace. Some abomination, not from God. She and Grace had been created in some sterile laboratory to be poked and prodded, their abilities used for God only knew what.

Nathan stood, as if he couldn’t remain seated a moment longer. His fingers were curled into tight fists and his agitation was broadcasting so strongly that it filled her mind, swamping her with his rage and his horror.

She turned away, no longer able to stand the terrible look in his eyes.

His hands slid over her shoulders, and he turned her, almost roughly, to face him. He gripped her, holding her there so she had no choice but to comply with his silent demand.

“I don’t know what the hell you’re thinking right now,” he said in a low voice. “I don’t know because you’ve shut yourself off from me. I can only guess as to why, but it’s bullshit. You have to know I don’t give a damn. You’re not some lab experiment. Not some accident of science. You’re a f**king miracle. My miracle. I don’t give a shit how you came into existence but I thank God every day that you did. Has it ever occurred to you that you were born with a much higher purpose? One that transcended whatever f**k of a reason those bastards played around in their goddamn lab for?”

She stared up at him in awe, so shocked by his vehemence that she couldn’t even begin to know how to respond. What could she say to that?

A tear slid down her cheek and he thumbed it away, his expression so fierce that it should have scared her. And then he simply pulled her into his arms, cupping her head to his chest as he held her tight enough to crush her ribs.

She didn’t care. She only cared that he held her, that she absorbed his strength, his warmth and, oh God, the aching awareness that she mattered so much to him.

He tangled his hand in her hair and then pressed his mouth to the top of her head. He trembled against her, part in anger, but she could feel the emotion pouring into her mind.

“What else, Shea?” he asked quietly. “We need to know everything. But I need you to know that I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. You aren’t alone. And I don’t give a flying f**k how you came into existence.”

She pulled away and smiled shakily up at him. Then she laced her fingers with his and squeezed. She glanced sideways at Swanny and Nathan’s brothers, embarrassed that they’d witnessed her upset.

She tugged one hand away from Nathan and wiped hastily at her face, pushing aside her hair. When she would have pulled away from Nathan entirely, he tightened his hold on her hand and guided her back to where they’d been sitting.

This time he settled her between him and Swanny. He made sure they were touching, his leg against hers, his hand covering her knee.

She sucked in a deep breath, determined to make it through the rest of the telling without breaking down again.