Whispers in the Dark (KGI #4)(59)

Donovan frowned for a long moment. “I’ll call Sam, give him an update on the situation and we’ll figure out our best course of action. Either way we’re getting the hell out of here.”

“But what about Grace?” Shea demanded. “I can’t just leave here. I won’t leave her.”

Donovan acknowledged her with a nod. “I need some time to go over the footage Nathan was able to upload. We have to put the pieces together and come up with as much of the puzzle as we can. We can’t do that here. We need to be in a safe place where I also have access to all of KGI’s resources.”

Shea slapped her hand on her forehead. “The journal. God, Nathan, the journal. I just forgot all about it. Maybe there’s something in there.”

She started to scramble off the bed, but Nathan snagged her hand. “There’ll be plenty of time to read it when we’re in the air. Right now our priority is getting you the hell out of here and to a safe place.”

When she would have protested again, he pressed his mouth to hers. When he drew away, he ran his hand over her hair. “We aren’t going to leave Grace, baby. I promise. I need to get you away from here. Once we’re out of here, I swear to you we’ll do everything in our power to locate her.”

Slowly she nodded.

“I’ll get Resnick to put some feelers out to find out what government agency might be interested in Shea’s and Grace’s abilities,” Donovan said.

Shea raised her head in alarm. “No! You can’t tell anyone else about us!”

Donovan held up his hand. “We aren’t going to tell the world. Just Resnick. He’s someone we trust. He has no incentive to f**k us over. We do too much of his dirty work for him. If the government is looking for you, he’ll find out. A faceless enemy does us no good. We need to know exactly whom we’re dealing with. The only way to do that is to go on the offensive and not wait around for them to find us. We hunt them. Not the other way around.”

“Hell yeah,” Swanny said, speaking up for the first time. “Count me in.”

Nathan almost laughed at the enthusiasm in Swanny’s voice. It was the first time Nathan had seen him worked up about anything since they got back from Afghanistan. Hell, it was the first time that Nathan had felt a purpose. It felt pretty damn good.

CHAPTER 25

THEY took off the next morning after sending the other jet ahead to a different location as a decoy. After a few derogatory remarks from Donovan about Nathan stealing a Kelly jet, Nathan endured a lecture about leaving KGI in a lurch if they’d been called up for a mission and been left with limited transportation means.

Shea had separated herself from the men. And Nathan. He wasn’t entirely sure he liked it. But she was curled up in the corner of the wraparound couch, a reading light on as she flipped through the journal she’d found at her parents’ house.

His brothers were talking, but Nathan had tuned them out. His focus was on Shea. It was obvious whatever she was reading distressed her. She was pale. Her fingers gripped the edges of the book and she turned each page with a seeming sense of dread. Almost like she was afraid of what she’d find.

He wanted to go over to her. He wanted to pull her into his arms, but she had a tangible barrier constructed, both physically and mentally. He’d briefly tried touching her mind, more to reassure himself than to reassure her, but she was blocked off. She’d shut the door on him, and it frustrated him even as he knew she needed this time alone to process whatever it was she was reading.

It took him a moment to realize that Donovan was talking to him. Only when Ethan nudged him did he turn and stare at his brothers, his mind blank to whatever they’d been saying.

“Don’t you think it’s time you told us what the f**k is going on with you? Has been going on with you? Is it Shea? Is she why you’ve closed yourself off from the rest of us? Why you refused to come to us for help until now?”

Donovan spoke in low tones so that Shea wouldn’t overhear, but Nathan still glanced back to see that she was still firmly involved in her reading.

Then he turned back to his brothers and Swanny. At least Swanny would understand.

“What was I supposed to do, Van? There were times I thought I was crazy. Certifiable. She was with me when I went through unimaginable hell. She suffered it with me. She took my pain, my torture, and made it her own. And why? She didn’t know me. She put herself at risk. Huge risk.”

“You should have told us,” Ethan said. “We would have understood. What we didn’t understand is why you put this wall between you and your family. Hell, it wouldn’t have mattered to us if you were crazy as a loon. At least we could have helped.”

“How could you understand when I didn’t understand myself?” Nathan asked in a tired voice. “She left me when you came for me, that last time, when I knew I was finally going to get out alive. I went crazy because, for so long, she was all I had. She was the only hope I had. She was like this talisman for me and then she was gone. And then I began to wonder if she was real. Maybe I’d imagined her. But it always came back to those emails. The ones she sent Van. But then I had no idea how to find her, how to reach her, much less how to explain her to you. Everyone was already tiptoeing around me like they were afraid I’d lose my shit and start barking at the moon. And maybe I was. I just knew that I had to come to terms with what happened on my own. And then…”