Whispers in the Dark (KGI #4)(60)

He broke off, chanced another look in Shea’s direction.

“She’s a f**king miracle. My miracle. The day of Rusty’s graduation party, she spoke to me and she was so afraid. I knew those bastards had taken her then. Several nights before that, she’d tried to reach out to me, but she was drugged and all I felt was her confusion and disorientation, but I knew it was her, and I knew something was terribly wrong. But again, what could I do? I didn’t know where she was. I didn’t even know who she was. Just her name. I’ve never felt so goddamn helpless in my life. But then she called for me. She’d escaped and was running for her life. Those bastards tortured her. They drugged her and tortured her and there wasn’t a goddamn thing I could do about it. But I could get to her as fast as I could. I could do that much. And I could do everything in my power to protect her. So I did.

“Could I have asked for your help? Yeah, but then I would have had to explain everything. I would have had to combat your disbelief. We would have wasted time that Shea didn’t have while you decided whether to believe me or lock my ass up in some mental facility. By the time we came up with some damn plan and coordinated KGI and figured out who was going to do what, it would have been too late for Shea, and I wasn’t going to let that happen.”

Ethan’s lips tightened into a fine line. He understood. He understood all too well and Nathan knew it. He’d once been faced with the situation of having to go in and rescue his wife, and he of all people knew Nathan’s frustration and why he’d made the choices he did.

Swanny merely nodded. Didn’t offer words, just nodded his agreement.

Donovan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I get it, man. I do. I just wish you’d come to us from the start. It’s been killing us to see you this way and not know what if anything we could do to help. You’re my brother and you have to know there isn’t a damn thing I wouldn’t do for you. Whether you’re crazy or not.”

Nathan smiled. “I know. I do know that, Van. I know I could have done things differently, but at the time it was what I thought I needed to do. I hate that I hurt you and the rest of the family. But when I came back…I wasn’t the same man. I wasn’t sure I could ever be that man again.”

Donovan put a hand on Nathan’s shoulder and squeezed. “You haven’t changed. No matter what you might think, you haven’t changed. Not to your family. We love you and support you unconditionally.”

Then Donovan glanced over at Shea. “We’ve got a shitload of stuff to process. I’ve been in touch with Sam. Our first priority is safety. Our second priority is figuring out who we’re dealing with. I’m going to analyze the footage you uploaded and hope to hell it gives us something to work off of. Sam is also ringing Resnick’s bell to see what info he’ll cough up.”

Nathan nodded. “She goes nowhere without me. Just so you know. It’s not an option.”

Ethan snorted. “Hell, like we can’t figure that out? I’m tempted to call Ma and rat you out, but no one wants her on our asses right now. I’m more afraid of her than I am of a whole terrorist cell.”

Donovan didn’t look as convinced. “I get that you want to protect her, Nathan, but it’s entirely possible the safest option for her won’t be tagging along with you.”

Nathan was already shaking his head. “She’s tough, Van. She’s saved my ass more than once. Her looks are deceiving. She’s got more steel in her spine than a lot of men I know. She won’t accept us sticking her in some hole, and furthermore I don’t want that. I want her with me. All the time.”

Donovan blew out his breath. It went against his grain to ever put a woman in danger. His instinct was always to bury them as far underground as possible and then go kick whoever’s ass threatened them.

But Nathan knew that Shea was different. She’d been on her own for a year, and she wasn’t going to fall apart at the first sign of danger. They were…partners…for lack of a better term. He needed her every bit as much as she needed him. She kept him centered. Grounded. And the only way he’d ever be convinced of her safety was if he could see her at all times.

Donovan opened his mouth to speak but then fell silent, his gaze riveted to Shea. Nathan turned to see her get up from her seat. She wobbled a little as she started toward where the men were gathered. Her face was pale and her entire demeanor told him she was in shock.

She gripped the closed journal and took another step. This time he hurriedly rose and crossed the distance to take her other hand. He led her to where the others sat and then simply put her on his lap so she could be near him.

He wrapped his arms around her and whispered close to her ear. “It’s okay, baby. Whatever it is, we’ll face it together.”

“You need to know this,” she said, her voice scratchy.

Realization hit him in the gut. She’d been crying, even though the signs were gone from her face. He pressed his lips to her shoulder, not knowing what else he could do to comfort her. Not until they knew what she’d learned from the journal.

She raised haunted eyes to his brothers before turning her gaze on Nathan, hurt and confusion brimming in her liquid gaze.

“Grace was right. They weren’t our real parents.”

CHAPTER 26

SHEA’S chest hurt so badly that she could barely squeeze air into and out of her lungs. She was more afraid than ever. Terrified.