When You're Ready (Ready #1)(63)

Ethan still filled my thoughts, as he always would. One night while Logan was working a late shift, I found myself sitting on my bed holding the letter he left behind. I smoothed my hands over its frayed edges, like I had done so many times before, staring at the words he’d written.

I had done the impossible. I had fallen in love. I’d been given a second chance at happiness, and I was diving in, headfirst. I placed my trembling hand on the seal, ready to break it and finally read what my late husband had written so many years earlier. I had so many sleepless nights wondering what he had written on those pages, and I was finally going to take the leap. At the very last second, as my breath was coming in short staccato beats in and out of my lungs, I threw the letter back into my night stand.

I was happy for the first time in years. What if there was something in this letter that changed that? I always thought “When You’re Ready” had something to do with moving on, but what if it didn’t? What if something in that letter changed the way I felt about Logan?

Looking back on that night, I felt angry. I had second guessed myself and made stupid excuses for my cowardice. I knew Ethan and I knew in the very depth of my soul that there was nothing in that letter but love. I’d made stupid excuses up for my inability to open that letter. I wasn’t ready. Still. When would I be ready? I had fallen in love with another man for God’s sake! I even had the strength to remove my wedding ring, tucking it away in my jewelry box to give to Maddie one day. But I couldn’t open that letter. Even now, feeling the heat of Logan’s body as he pulled me into his arms, I still didn’t know if I would ever have the courage to open it.

A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts. Logan kissed me on the forehead before walking over to greet our mystery visitor. We weren’t expected until the rehearsal dinner in a few more hours, so I had no idea who this could be.

“Mother?” I heard a surprised Logan say as he pulled the door open, revealing a beautiful middle-aged woman wearing a pretty summer dress and matching sweater. She looked nothing like what I would have pictured, and based on Logan’s reaction, I gathered it was a new look.

“Hi, Logan. I’m so glad you’re here,” she said sincerely before pulling him into her arms.

A stunned and very stiff Logan returned the hug briefly, taking a step back toward me to grab my hand, as if he needed the contact to keep him grounded.

I had never met the woman, but I think this new look and the way she was acting had completely shifted Logan’s entire view of his mother. He looked lost and confused, and for once, I didn’t know how to help him because I was just as confused as he was.

“Are you going to introduce me?” she asked, looking down at our joined hands.

“Of course, how rude of me. Mother, this is Clare Murray. Clare, this is my mother, Cecile Carrington,” he said formally.

I stepped forward offering my hand, but she pulled me into her arms as well.

“Just call me Cece. The last name is going to change tomorrow anyway,” she insisted, letting me go so I could return to Logan.

“Who’s that, Mommy?” I heard Maddie say as she came to stand between Logan and me, her favorite spot nowadays.

“This is Logan’s Mom, Cece,” I said.

“Hi Cece. I like your name,” Maddie said, taking a step toward the woman. There wasn’t a shy bone in that kid.

Cece bent down so she was at the same level as Maddie, her eyes full of excitement as she looked at my daughter.

“Well I like yours too, pumpkin. I love your shirt, do you dance?” she asked, admiring Maddie’s pink shirt with ballerina frog on it that Logan had bought her.

“Yep. Mommy takes me to lessons. She says I’m a natural,” Maddie answered proudly, puffing out her chest to show off her shirt.

“Well, I was just in the gift shop downstairs, and saw the cutest ballerina necklace. If you’re Mommy says it’s okay, do you want me to show you?”

“Can I Mommy, please?” Maddie begged, bouncing up and down. Logan gave me a look that said the decision was all mine.

“Of course, baby. But, best manners okay? Cece’s in charge,” I instructed.

“Okay Mommy!”

“I’ll bring her right back. Just thought you two might enjoy a few minutes alone,” Cece said before scooping Maddie up in her arms and heading out the door. I could hear them chatting down the hallway and I found myself thinking Cece would make a wonderful Grandmother, which was odd considering the type of mother I knew she was.

“You okay?” I asked Logan as he stared out the picture window down at the busy street below, his body tight and rigid. He was so deep in thought, I could practically see them coming off of him in waves.

“That was not my Mother,” his voice was distant, as if he was still processing the last few minutes.

Closing the distance between us, I wrapped my arms around him, resting my head against his broad back, breathing in his unique scent.

“Talk to me Logan. I need to understand.”

“That woman you just met was warm and inviting. She was everything I wanted in a mother as a child, but never had. The mother I know is obsessed with material possessions and making sure she has someone around to buy them for her. She would have never allowed anyone to call her Cece. She was always Cecile. She gave up parental rights to my father when they divorced and I barely saw her after that. My sister and mother were just people I visited once a year when my father had nowhere else to send me,” he snarled.