When You're Ready (Ready #1)(12)
Seriously, am I stupid?
I should have been able to find this stuff, and where were these helpful employees they always advertised? I looked around, but all I saw were intimidating looking men who seemed to know exactly where they were going and what they needed. I, on the other hand, seemed to have made a complete circle and had arrived in the exact same spot I was five minutes ago. This was a disaster.
"Dr. Matthews!" Maddie screeched.
My head whipped around to see Maddie waving at the man who had “saved her head.” Her words, not mine.
She talked about him a lot since her visit to the hospital. Apparently, he made quite an impression with her because most men intimidated her. For as long as she could remember, it had just been her and me. It broke my heart that her memories of Ethan were fading. For her, he will only ever be a picture or a bedtime story. But Dr. Matthews was different. Somehow, in a very short period of time he had been able to break down her walls and she felt safe and secure with him. To her, he’d saved her in that ER. She went to the hospital sick and miserable and he made her better. He was her new hero.
Dr. Matthews, my daughter’s knight in shining armor, was reaching for something on one of the lower shelves, giving me a nice view of his perfect ass, when he heard Maddie’s cry. His head rose, searching and finally found us. He appeared momentarily startled, but then gave Maddie a dazzling smile. Damn, that man should smile all the time. Stretching his lean body to full height, he rose, and walked our way, waving back at Maddie who was bouncing up and down in the cart.
"Hey there, princess, looks like your head is back to normal," he said, gently patting the top of her head, sending her into a fit of giggles.
"Yep, but Mommy says I still can't dance for four more days!” the agony apparent in her voice, like I was torturing her. I just rolled my eyes.
“But she still lets me wear my tutu. And, she's gonna make me my very own ballet barre for my room!" she said, beaming at me. Now I was the hero again. Kids’ moods could give you whiplash.
Oh God, this was going to be a disaster. Seriously, where were all the damn employees in this store? Do you think they offer installation for this type of thing?
"Wow, that's impressive. Your mother must be very handy," he said, glancing over to me for the first time. And he doesn’t just glance, he roams, his eyes taking their time traveling over my body. I don’t know how he did it, but that single look had me melting into a puddle. But then, I think anyone staring into those eyes would be in the same position.
His blue eyes were stunning, and so pale, almost bordering on gray. Lips curved into a small grin, with a hint of mischief, he looked like he already figured out my little secret regarding this disaster of a project.
"No, actually, Dr. Matthews, I am the exact opposite of handy. I'm actually wandering around aimlessly, hoping to find an employee who will tell me what I need to do," I confessed, confirming his suspicions.
"Call me Logan,” he said. “And that would explain why you are in the plumbing section." He added, laughing. Looking around at the toilets and pipes, I blushed, "Guilty." I said, before joining him in a laugh.
"Mommy says she's good at all sorts of stuff, but building and fixing stuff isn't one of them," Maddie said.
Sobering a bit, but still very amused, he looked at me with those crystal blue eyes again, making me shiver.
"I’d really love to discover some of those hidden talents.”
Oh, hot damn.
~Logan~
What did I just f**king say?
Shit, I should not be allowed in public anymore. I had just dropped the lamest pick-up line ever, in the middle of the home improvement store, right in front of Clare’s daughter, no less. Thank God Colin hadn’t been around to witness that little slice of failure. I would never have lived it down.
Dear God, this woman made me crazy.
I never expected to see her or Maddie again. I tried to make myself forget about that night in the hospital, telling myself she deserved better. And she did. But as hard as I tried, those searing green eyes kept making their way back into my thoughts, reminding me of a woman who had shown me another path. A path that could have been possible if I were a different man. If I were capable of giving myself over to another, but you have to have a whole heart to do that, am I’m pretty sure mine was never fully formed.
But looking up at those now familiar eyes, I felt the tension ease in my chest, and the ice loosened a bit. Seeing Clare again felt exactly the same. It gave me a deep sense of being connected and tethered. Having come from the family I did, it wasn’t something I’d ever felt with anyone, and therefore I was having a difficult time trusting myself around her. I tried returning to my life, resuming my normal routine, only to be haunted by her face; a constant reminder of what I could never have.
After the quiet little pub the other night, I went downtown, finding a spot that was the exact opposite of the one I had just left. I played the part of carefree bachelor, buying rounds of drinks, doing body shots with a few overly eager women. I had every intention of following one of them home. By the end of the night, after most people had made it home, I had a young brunette pushed against the dirty brick wall of the bar, waiting for a cab to take us to her apartment. I didn’t know her name, and I didn’t care. I wouldn’t be around by morning anyway. My hand slid down her bare thigh and pulled it around my hip. She looked at me, seductively licking her lips, her not so subtle way of giving me permission to do whatever I want, wherever I want. It was then that I looked into her eyes and saw...nothing. The brown eyes staring back at me were full of lust, but nothing else. They were the same blank eyes that I had been looking into ever since Melanie. Since her, I’d survived by seeking out women who gave nothing in return. Because it was all I could give back.