When You're Ready (Ready #1)(7)

Her worry went from slight to panicked when I mentioned the CT I’d planned for Maddie. I’d never seen someone panic so much over a simple test before. She asked if I was sure, and then it was like she was gone. Her eyes went blank and her gaze wandered down to her joined hands resting in her lap, and she just disappeared. I don’t know why, but I knew this had nothing to do with Maddie. It was too abrupt, too intense, and there was a sense of loss in her eyes. She was worried before, but below the worry I could tell she knew Maddie would be fine. She knew just as I did that it was a simple concussion that would go away on its own. Everything else we were doing was just precautionary.

I didn’t know what was going on in her head, but a few seconds passed and she looked up at me, a mixture of panic and embarrassment playing across her face.

Before I knew what I was doing, I reached toward her, "Clare? Are you all right?” I asked, putting my hands on hers, trying to pull her back from the place she drifted to. Her eyes focused on where our hands had joined, and she spoke without glancing up.

“You're sure she doesn't need any other tests? The CT scan will show you everything?” Her voice quivered slightly as she asked again.

I could hear the pain in her words, see the fear in her eyes, and I wanted to erase it all. I don’t know what I was doing, why this woman’s pain was calling to me so loudly. It wasn’t my problem to fix. I seriously needed to get the hell out of this room before I did something stupid.

I jerked my hand back, clearing my throat awkwardly. "Yes, she’ll be fine, Ms. Murray. We will make 100% sure she’s well enough to discharge when you leave. I'll look over the CT personally after the radiologist is done, just to be sure," I said in my most professional doctor-type voice, trying to convince myself that this was just another patient, and Clare was just another mother. Noticing the abrupt change in my tone, her head bobbed in agreement, and she returned her attention to Maddie, clearly hurt.

I took a step toward the door and silently cursed under my breath.

Instead of turning the knob and walking out the door, I rotated around, walked the three steps to the chair Clare was in, and took a knee in front of her.

Her emerald green eyes shifted from Maddie to me in surprise, widening at my abrupt change of pace.

Yeah, I know. It’s new for me too.

"It will be okay," I assured her, looking over at Maddie, and then finding my way back to Clare.

"I promise.”

I quickly stood, and exited the exam room.

Well, so much for not doing anything stupid.

~Clare~

What the hell was that? I thought I was crazy, but I think I may have found my date to the crazy dance. I was pretty sure that wasn’t normal. Most doctors didn’t kneel, vowing everything was gonna be okey-dokey. Because if so, I’m pretty sure malpractice suits would be through the roof.

We had just been wheeled back into the room after the CT and I was quietly sitting beside Maddie, watching her sleep. It had gotten late, and I swear we’d been here for three days, even though it’d only been four hours. Nothing in a hospital ever moved fast. My thoughts drifted back to Dr. Matthews and his odd exit from the exam room.

When he grabbed my hand and asked if I was all right rather than stare at me and call in the people with the straitjackets, I felt something. Something I thought I’d never feel again. I’d loved Ethan with my entire being. We’d met when I’d just started college, and he was my first love. When you have the type of love Ethan and I did, you don’t expect to ever be lucky enough to find it again. It’s not that I was determined to die alone, but I just figured that’s how it would be. Men and women spend their entire lives looking for “the one.” I’d found him and I’d been lucky enough to have eight wonderful years with him. I had my time and that was it. But when I looked up into that man’s eyes as he was holding my hand, I felt something in me stir...something I’d thought was long since gone. I thought he’d felt it too.

And then he snapped his hand back and tried to brush it off like it never happened. It was like a slap in the face. I reminded myself that lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice. Ethan was gone, and so was my one true love, at the age of twenty-seven. No man could ever compare to that. That’s what I’d thought until he’d spun around, swearing everything would be okay. I didn’t know what to make of that, but it made my heart quicken just thinking about it. It was like he was trying to erase the virtual bitch slap he’d given me and tell me he’d felt it too. Or I could be seeing a connection that wasn’t there. He could just be crazy and I’d just won my very own psycho bodyguard.

A quiet knock brought me out of my thoughts, and Leah appeared in the doorway.

“Hey sweetie, how’s my girl?” she whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed as she leaned over to check on a sleeping Maddie. I was a little nervous about her falling asleep, but Theresa said it was fine. They would wake her up in an hour to check on her. Honestly, I was a little envious. I wouldn't mind crawling on that bed with her and taking a nap.

“She’s better, been sleeping for about fifteen minutes. Dr. Mathews said it was just a concussion, but she just came back from doing a CT just in case. And before you ask, I’m fine,” I said, seeing her eyes already widening when I mentioned the CT. Sometimes, I think she knows me better than I know myself.