Until the End (Sea Breeze #9)(50)

Amanda sighed. “Join the club. He has several major fan clubs all over the world. And women offer to have his baby millions of times a day online.”

She was making a joke, but she was right. I laughed this time. It wasn’t a full laugh, but it was a laugh.

“I’m going to go home and talk to Jessica, and then I think I’ll go to his house and see him. Now that we’ve both had time to think and process, we need to talk.”

“Yes, you do,” she agreed.

Jax

When the doorbell chimed through the house, I knew it was her. No one else would come looking for me here. I hadn’t told a soul where I was. But Sadie would know. I ran down the stairs and headed for the front doors, unlatching them and jerking one open before the first chime ended.

She was standing there, dressed in the same jeans and thermal shirt she’d had on earlier today. Her eyes met mine, and I could see she was nervous. I hated to think of Sadie ever being nervous to come to me. I wanted to reach out and grab her and hold on for dear life. But she didn’t look like that was what she was hoping for. I stepped back and motioned for her to come inside.

“Opening your own doors?” she asked me, and I wasn’t sure if she was teasing or not.

“There isn’t any staff here. They left earlier this evening when I told them they could go,” I explained. Although even if someone had been here, no one would have beaten me to the door tonight.

“Oh, well, that’s probably best. We don’t need anyone listening to us talk about this.”

I agreed. I wanted Sadie alone and to myself.

“You hungry? Did you eat a good dinner?” I asked her, thinking about the fact that she needed to eat for not only her health but our baby’s as well.

“Jessica made me pasta salad and baked chicken,” she said with a small smile. That little smile gave me hope. I hadn’t seen a smile on her face since the morning before I’d lost my mind.

“Good. Want dessert?” I asked. “Mrs. Mary left chocolate cake.”

She shook her head. “No. I’m still too full.”

Then we could talk. “Let’s go to the great room. More comfortable seating in there, and I’ve got a fire going.”

“Okay,” she replied.

Before I turned to lead the way, I held out my hand to her like I always did before we went anywhere. It was a habit and one I loved. She always came to me so willingly. This time her eyes went from me to my hand and she froze. Yet another thing I had ruined. My girl didn’t come to me anymore with ease.

“You don’t want to touch me anymore?” I asked, unable to keep my mouth shut and be patient with her.

She jerked her gaze back up to meet mine. “I . . . Of course I do. I just . . . God, Jax, this is so confusing.”

I stepped toward her, reached down, and took her hand, threading her fingers through mine. “Not this part. This,” I said, holding our joined hands up, “is never confusing.”

She let me take her to the great room without moving her hand away.

I took her to the butter-leather sofa facing the fire and reluctantly let her hand go so she could sit down. I wasn’t moving across the room from her, though. We were going to talk, but we were going to be close to do it.

I sat down beside her and turned my body to face hers while draping an arm along the back of the sofa. “You came to see me. Not going to lie, Sadie, I’m really damn hopeful right now.”

She clasped her hands together in her lap and looked at them instead of me. “Can you promise me that you’ll never do that again? Never assume something of me without asking me first?” she asked, and then slowly turned her gaze to look at me.

She was here to give me a second chance. “Baby, I swear to God, I’ll never hurt you like that again. I would have to hear it straight from you before I believed anything bad of you ever again. And even then I don’t think I’d believe it. My girl is still as perfect as she was when I fell in love with her. I questioned that, and it will eat me up for a really long time. I can’t forgive myself, but I really want you to. I’ll do anything you ask. Just love me again, Sadie. Please.”

She inhaled deeply and kept her eyes fixed on me. “If I hadn’t been pregnant, would you have come for me?”

I had asked myself this same question already. The answer was yes. I wouldn’t have been able to make it another night without seeing her and making sure she was okay. “Yes. Even when I believed that bullshit, I was worried about you. I missed you. I never stopped loving you.”

She studied me for a moment, and then she nodded. “I believe you.”

I was ready to pull her in my arms now. “Can you love me? After all this . . . can you love me again?” I asked her, needing to know if her heart was going to be closed off to me forever.

She smiled. “I never stopped loving you. I wanted to. It would have been easier. But I can’t turn it off with a switch. I’ve loved you for five years, and I’ll love you for a hundred more.”

I held out my hand again. “Come here.” I waited to see if she would. Her small hand lifted, then slipped into mine. I tugged her over to me and grabbed her waist, then deposited her in my lap.

“I’m gonna need you now,” I told her as I pulled her mouth to mine.

“M’kay,” was her response just before my mouth covered hers.