Undone by Her Tender Touch (Pregnancy & Passion #4)(24)

Today, though? Today was special, and in her heart of hearts, she hoped their relationship would move forward just a bit. How could it not? Today they’d “meet” their child and for the first time see the tiny little life inside her.

“Are you nervous?” Cam asked as he drove toward the clinic where Pippa had her regular checkups.

Pippa took a deep breath. “Maybe?”

Cam smiled indulgently and reached over to squeeze her hand. “Still want to find out what we’re having?”

She nodded. “I do. I have to know. I want to be able to establish that bond early. Figure out a name. I can start buying clothes and decide how I want to decorate.”

She didn’t even realize she had drifted off into a dreamy smile until she became aware of Cam watching her.

“Have you given thought to what you’d like? Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?”

She grinned ruefully. “Depends on what day you catch me on. Yesterday I was sure I wanted a boy. Today I’m leaning toward a girl. What about you?”

His eyes went bleak for a moment. She watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed. Then he attempted a smile, but it was lame at best.

“I think I’d like a daughter.”

“Really? I thought guys always wanted sons.”

His eyes grew dimmer. “No. I think a daughter would be great. A little miniature Pippa. All that dark hair and green eyes.”

Her cheeks grew warm and she smiled at how pleased he seemed over the idea of having a daughter who looked like her.

A moment later, they pulled into the clinic’s parking garage and Pippa’s stomach burst into nervous flurries.

“Oh, my God,” she breathed. “We’re going to find out in just a little while.”

Cam smiled faintly, then reached over to squeeze her hand again. “Let’s go do it.”

* * *

Maybe it was her nerves, but Cam looked like he’d rather be anywhere but sitting in the tiny room where the sonogram tech was about to perform the scan. He looked…tormented. There was raw emotion in his eyes and he kept glancing toward the door like he was seriously contemplating bolting for it.

She bit her lip and controlled the urge to reach for his hand. He wasn’t even paying her any attention. He kept eyeing the tech and growing more uneasy by the minute. Instead, she took several calming breaths as the tech rolled her gown up and tucked it just over the slight swell of her belly.

She flinched when the cool gel smoothed over her skin and then the young man smiled at her as he placed the wand over her belly.

She strained closer as the blob took shape on the screen. Tears burned her eyelids when the tech explained that she was seeing the beating heart. She glanced over at Cam to see him equally awestruck. But there was such deep sadness in his eyes that she wondered what he could possibly be thinking.

Several long minutes later, the tech moved the wand again. “Ready to see what flavor of baby you’re having?”

“Oh, yes,” she whispered.

“Let’s take a look here. Hopefully we won’t have a shy one. Oh, hello! No shyness here. Look at the little guy.”

Pippa sat forward as she stared in amazement at the tiny appendage that clearly signaled the baby’s sex. “Oh, my God, it’s a boy! Cam, we’re having a son!”

Her excitement dimmed when she caught sight of Cam’s expression. And then to her shock, he simply got up and walked out of the room, leaving her on the table with the image of their son still vivid on the monitor.

* * *

Cam walked straight out of the building. He shoved at the door, needing freedom, needing air. Tears burned his eyes and he was desperate to get as far away from anyone as possible.

The sunlight assaulted his senses. A cool breeze blew over his face, freezing the unshed tears in place. The knot in his throat was so big he didn’t have a prayer of taking a breath. So he stood there, chest burning, throat so raw that it felt like he’d swallowed a razor.

A son. Another son.

Why couldn’t it have been a daughter? No threat to the memory of Colton. And it wouldn’t seem so damn much like he was replacing his first son with another. How could he even bear to look at this child, knowing he’d lost one before?

He fumbled for his cell, punched in his driver’s number and then gave a terse order for him to collect Pippa from the clinic. He was being the worst sort of ass. He was walking away from her when she needed him the most. But he couldn’t pretend. He couldn’t smile and be excited when he felt like he was dying all over again. He wouldn’t stand there and suck the joy from her.

After making sure John would take Pippa home, he turned and walked back to where his car was parked. In the past couple of months, he’d been staying more in the city so he could be closer to Pippa, but right now he wanted more than anything to retreat behind the iron gates of his Connecticut estate.

* * *

“He just left?” Pippa asked in bewilderment.

John looked discomfited as he led Pippa to where he’d parked the car. “I believe something urgent came up, Miss Laingley.”

“Like what?” she demanded. “What could possibly be more important than this? And he couldn’t simply tell me he had to leave?”

The more she pondered the matter, the more pissed she got. She was working herself into a righteous fury as John ushered her into the waiting car. All the way home, she fumed. This should have been special. They should even now be celebrating. Instead, she was on her way home alone not knowing what the hell kind of bug was up Cam’s ass.