Undone by Her Tender Touch (Pregnancy & Passion #4)(19)

Cam swore long and hard. “Damn fool, stubborn, mule-headed female. All she had to do was agree to marry me. Or move in with me. She had options. A hell of a lot of options.”

Devon stared at him like he’d lost his mind. “Marry you? Move in with you?”

“I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I’m obviously out of my mind. But damn it, Dev, all I can think about is what if something happens? Something I could prevent? I just need…”

“I know, man,” Devon said softly. “So what are you going to do?”

“Hell if I know,” Cam muttered. “What is there to do? She doesn’t seem to want anything to do with me. At least, not yet. And I’ve tried—really tried—to give her the space she seems to want and need, but I’m getting impatient here. I’ve tried to call her. Arrange dinner. She always has something else to do. She was supposed to tell me when her next doctor’s appointment is but so far I’ve heard nothing. I need to know she’s safe and is taking care of herself and the baby. How can I do any of that when she won’t agree to see me?”

“Try letting go of the past and stop allowing it to overshadow every single thought and decision. You can’t change the past, but you can sure screw up your future.”

Red-hot rage clouded Cam’s vision. His fingers curled into tight fists and he sat there, refusing to even look at his friend because he knew Devon meant well but he also knew he’d do or say something he’d regret if he wasn’t careful.

How the hell could Devon possibly understand? He wanted to tell Devon that he wouldn’t be so quick to give advice if something happened to Ashley and their child, but he couldn’t be so cruel as to even make Devon contemplate such a future. He wouldn’t do it to his worst enemy.

“I’m sorry,” Devon said, regret heavy in his voice. “No one expects you to ever forget. I just think at some point you have to be willing to move forward and take a chance again.”

Cam nodded curtly, still refusing to look Devon’s way.

“Look, if it’s any consolation, Pippa is mostly devoting her time to trying to get her business started. Ashley’s been helping her come up with ideas. I doubt her avoidance is personal. She’s stressing because now that she’s pregnant, she feels even more pressure to get her business off the ground so she can provide for her child.”

“She wouldn’t have to stress if she’d just accept help from me,” Cam growled.

“Have you offered? And I mean in a no-strings kind of way?”

“Maybe my mistake is in asking her. It occurs to me that when given the opportunity to say no, women will, if for no other reason than to be contrary.”

His mood brightened considerably as he warmed to the idea that had just taken root.

“The trick is not to ask but just do. Wouldn’t you agree, Dev?”

Devon gave him an uneasy look. “You’re on your own, man. Don’t ask me to get involved. I’m not going to help pave the way for you to have your nuts painfully removed.”

“Chicken,” Cam drawled.

“Hell, yeah. I’m chicken. I know what side my bread is buttered on. I’ve discovered in a very short time that Ashley’s happiness or sadness has a direct bearing on my own.”

For a moment pain sliced through Cam’s chest, robbing him of breath. He envied Devon with a ferocity that left him bereft. Devon was happy. He’d discovered the joys of marriage and the love of a woman. He was looking forward to fatherhood with the innocence of a man who didn’t realize that happiness was fleeting. That everything could change in a moment’s time. And that you could go from being on top of the world to hell in the blink of an eye.

Cam knew. And if he had any say in the matter, he’d never know that kind of pain again.

“But I’ll wish you luck,” Devon said cheerfully. “If nothing else, you’ll provide me with entertainment.”

Cam sat back in his chair. “You underestimate me.”

Devon studied him for a long moment and then pushed forward in his chair. “What exactly do you want here, Cam? You say you don’t want a relationship. Don’t want commitment. Don’t want anything resembling a permanent situation. And yet you’re pursuing Pippa relentlessly and are frustrated by the fact that she’s giving you precisely what you want, which is a pass on all of the above-mentioned things.”

Cam’s eyes narrowed. It was a damn good question and one he didn’t have a ready answer to. Nor did he really want to examine all the reasons why he was pulling marriage proposals out of his ass. “I want to do everything in my power to make sure she and my child are safe and taken care of.”

Devon sighed. “You can’t protect them from everything. Bad things happen. You can’t live your whole life expecting disaster.”

For Cam, the conversation was over. He ignored Devon’s remarks and steered the conversation to business. But Pippa was very much on his mind, and even as he discussed the latest progress on the resort in St. Angelo, he was already formulating his idea on how to rein Pippa in.

The sooner he was certain of her safety and well-being, the faster his own life would get back to normal. And he’d keep telling himself that until he damn well believed it.

Nine

Pippa dug her hands deeper into the pockets of her coat and hunched her shoulders forward as she hurried down the sidewalk toward her apartment. Snow flurries blew furiously around her and the wind cut ribbons across her body, chilling her to the bone.