The Recruit (Highland Guard #6)(99)

The spark returned to her eye. “Your suspicions? What of mine? You knew what I thought you were doing every night in town. But you let me believe you were with other women, when instead you were fighting in an illegal tourney that could get you killed or imprisoned.”

His eyes burned into hers. “I thought you didn’t care.”

She pursed her mouth. “Well, I do. I care very much, and I’m afraid you are going to have to accept that.”

He was so surprised by her admission that it took him a moment to reply. What did she mean? He was slightly dumfounded. “You do?”

She nodded. “I wasn’t following you, and it is your fault I was with Sir John in the first place.”

“My fault? I believe my instructions were for you never to leave the castle without my permission.”

She gave him a look that told him just how seriously she’d taken that particular order. “I assumed you didn’t mean that, of course. You spoke in anger.”

He’d meant every bloody word of it. If he had his way, he’d lock her in a high tower on some remote western isle until this war was over.

But he listened as she explained how she’d received a note from the monk about the nun who had looked like her. She’d come to him to accompany her, but when he turned her down, she’d accepted Sir John’s offer instead.

Ah hell. He hadn’t realized. Guilt pricked him. For the first time, she’d come to him for help, and he’d turned her away.

“On the way back,” she continued, “we heard the commotion, and Sir John decided to investigate.”

“He should never have taken you with him.” When he thought of what could have happened to her—what had almost happened—that sick, helpless feeling knifed through him again. “My God, you could have been killed!”

She studied his face as if trying to discern the sentiment behind the words. “It was an accident. In my effort to leave before Sir John recognized you, I stumbled. I know you might not like to hear it, but Sir John did me a service.”

She was right on both counts. He gritted his teeth. “I may have overreacted—”

“May have?”

Kenneth continued as if she hadn’t interrupted. “But don’t tell me he didn’t take advantage of the situation. He was holding you too damned long. He looked like he was going to kiss you.”

The fact that she looked like she was fighting a smile didn’t help his rationality any. “I think he was shocked more than anything.” She put her hand on her stomach, smoothing the fabric over the swell. His chest swelled, seeing how much she’d changed in the past month. “He realized I was with child.”

Kenneth felt the urge to smile himself. “Good. Maybe that will make him see that you aren’t going to change your mind.”

Their eyes held. “There was never a danger of that.” Before he could ponder what she meant, she added, “Why were you there, Kenneth? Why are you fighting like a common ruffian in an illegal combat tourney and not in the yard with the other knights?”

“It’s as I told Felton, I’ve been trying to build my strength back up in preparation for giving him the challenge that he’s been clamoring for.”

It was a poor excuse, and he could see that she didn’t fully believe him, but what else could he say? His mission wasn’t over. He couldn’t tell her the truth. Not until she was safely in Scotland. He couldn’t risk it. Not when he’d begun to realize just how much of a betrayal this was going to seem to her.

But this was nothing like what Atholl had done to her. At least that was what he kept telling himself. Aye, he was making decisions for her—decisions that would put her in danger—but he’d had no choice. His course was already set when he’d discovered that she was carrying his child. And unlike Atholl, he would protect her. Though he was no longer confident she would see the difference.

“I’m sorry I didn’t take you to the church. Did you discover anything about your sister?”

She shook her head, her eyes filling with sadness. She repeated what the abbess had told her. “It doesn’t make sense. How could Brother Thomas have made such a mistake? I only hope he will return soon so that I may ask him. He went somewhere with the Bishop of St. Andrews.”

Lamberton? Kenneth hid his reaction to the mention of Bruce’s former ally, but his senses pricked. Agreeing that it was odd, he said, “If you’d like, I can make some inquiries.”

Her expression stopped his breath. For the first time, he knew what it would feel like to have her admiration. It was as if he’d just plucked a star from the sky and handed it to her. He’d been the recipient of such looks countless times before, but all of them together had never meant as much as this one did. It felt earned.

“You would do that for me?”

He suspected there was very little he wouldn’t do for her. “I still have some contacts in Scotland that may prove helpful.” Contacts was an understatement.

He watched her reaction, but saw only concern, not suspicion.

“You won’t do anything that would put you in danger?”

One corner of his mouth lifted. Every day he stayed here he was in danger. “I will be careful.”

“Then thank you, I would be very grateful if you would try.”