Tempted by Her Innocent Kiss (Pregnancy & Passion #3)(23)

It was evident that he didn’t want the person she was. It was evident he didn’t love flighty, impulsive, tender-hearted, animal-loving Ashley Copeland, who called him at work just to say she loved him.

If he didn’t want or love that person, then the only two options left to her were to walk away and get a divorce or to become someone he could love.

Could she make him fall in love with her? Her family always worried that she was too trusting. Too naive. Too everything. Apparently they were right.

The only person who didn’t seem to think anything was wrong with who Ashley Copeland was, was Ashley herself. And it was becoming increasingly clearer that her judgment stank.

It was time for one hell of a makeover.

But the idea didn’t excite her. It didn’t infuse enthusiasm into her flagging spirits. It was a bleak thought and she dimly wondered if Devon was worth such an effort.

Would his love be enough, provided she could even make him fall in love with her?

A voice in the back of her mind whispered that it was time for her to grow up. It was a voice that sounded precariously close to Devon’s. He thought she should grow up. Her father evidently thought the same. Maybe they were both right.

She stiffened when she heard a sound on the terrace. She knew it was Devon but she wasn’t ready to face him yet.

“Have you been out here all night?” he asked quietly.

She nodded wordlessly and continued to stare over the water.

He walked to the thick stone railing that enclosed the private viewing area, shoved his hands in his pockets and for a moment stared over the water as she was doing. Then he turned to face her and leaned back against the stone.

He looked as bad as she felt, though she had no sympathy. His hair was rumpled. He was still in the same clothes as the night before.

“Ash, don’t torture yourself over this. There’s no reason we can’t have a perfectly good marriage, no matter the circumstances of how we came to be married.”

He was starting to repeat his arguments from the previous night and the truth was, she couldn’t stomach hearing again how she was naive and impulsive and whatever else it was he’d said when he outlined all her faults.

She bit her lip to keep the angry flood from rushing out because at this point it did her no good and she didn’t have the emotional energy to spare.

She held up a hand to stop him and cursed at how it trembled. She put it back down and tucked it into her gown, blinking as she realized she was still in her sexy, lacy lingerie that she’d so painstakingly picked out for her wedding night.

Unbidden tears welled again in her eyes as she realized just what a disaster her wedding night had been. What should have been the most special night of her entire life would forever be a black hole in her past no matter what happened in the future.

“I agree,” she said before he could launch into another list of her shortcomings.

He promptly shut his mouth and then stared at her, his brows drawn together in confusion. “You do?”

She nodded again because the words seemed to stick in her throat. Almost as if they were rebelling. It took her a few moments to force out what she wanted to say.

“You’re absolutely right. I was being silly. I had unrealistic expectations and I shouldn’t allow them to get in the way of marriage.”

He winced but remained quiet.

“I am agreeable to at least a period of time in which we see how things progress.”

He frowned at that but she looked up with dead eyes. “Be glad I’m not on a plane home with an appointment to see a divorce lawyer.”

He pushed out a breath and then slowly nodded. “All right. How long do you think this test period will last?”

She shrugged. “How would I know? I can’t exactly put a time frame on when I can give up all hope of having a happy marriage.”

“Ash.”

The low growl in which he said her name only served to make her angrier. She curled her fingers into tight balls, determined not to give in to the urge to scream at him. She was determined to get through this, no matter how excruciating it was.

“I’m not trying to punish you, Devon. I’m trying to get through this without losing what little pride I have left.”

He went pale and pain flickered in his eyes. And shame. Though that hadn’t been her intention, either. She wasn’t trying to make digs at him because that wouldn’t make this go away. It wouldn’t give her back her happiness. It would only make her more miserable than she already was.

“You seem to think we can have an enjoyable marriage. I personally find no joy in being married to a man who doesn’t love me, but I’m willing to try. You’re probably right in that I shouldn’t allow something so silly as love to enter the equation.”

“Damn it, I care a lot for you—”

“Please,” she bit out, halting his words in midsentence. “Just don’t. Don’t try to make it better by offering me platitudes. It was hard to hear your assessment of my faults. Does anyone ever like to hear that about themselves? But I’m willing to work on not being so impulsive and exuberant or whatever else it was that you mentioned. I’ll try to be the best wife I can be and not disappoint you.”

He bit out a sharp curse but she ignored him and plunged ahead before she lost all her courage and fled.

“I just have one thing to ask in return,” she whispered.