Tempted by Her Innocent Kiss (Pregnancy & Passion #3)(21)

He took one step back and then heaved out a breath. Before he could launch into what he wanted to say, she found his gaze and he flinched at the raw vulnerability reflected in those eyes.

“What a fool I’ve made of myself,” she whispered. “How stupid and naive. How you must have laughed.”

“Damn it, Ash, I’ve never laughed at you. Never!”

“I loved you,” she said painfully. “Thought you loved me. Thought we were getting married because you wanted me, not my father’s business or whatever it was he offered you. How much did I cost you, Dev? Or should I ask how much my father offered you to marry me?”

Furious at the senseless direction this was heading, he yanked the chair out from the desk, turned it around and sat so he faced her.

“Listen to me. There’s no reason we can’t have an enjoyable marriage. We’re compatible. We get along well together. We’re good in bed. Those are three things many married couples don’t have going for them.”

She closed her eyes.

“Look at me, Ash. This may be painful to hear but maybe it’s for the best if we get it all out in the open. You’re far too emotional. You wear your feelings and your heart on your sleeve and it’s only going to get you hurt. Maybe it’s time for you to grow up and face the fact that life isn’t a fairy tale. You’re too impulsive. You dash about with no caution and no sense of self-preservation. That’s only going to cause you further pain down the road.”

She shook her head in utter confusion. Her eyes were cloudy and it was clear she was battling tears. “How could I possibly ever hurt as much as I do now? How can you be so…so…cold and calm and so matter-of-fact as if this is nothing more than a business meeting where you’re discussing figures and projections and sales and a whole host of other things I don’t understand?”

His gut twisted into a knot. He’d never felt so damn helpless in his life. He wished to hell it was as simple as telling her to be harder and for her not to let this destroy her, but he knew it was pointless because Ashley was one of the most tender-hearted people he knew and he was an ass to sit here and tell her to get over it.

She covered her face in her hands and he could see her throat working convulsively as she tried to keep her sobs silent. But they spilled out, harsh and brittle in the quiet.

He lifted his hand to touch her hair but left it in the air before finally pulling it back. She wouldn’t welcome comfort from him, of all people. If it were any other woman, she’d have already come after his nuts and he’d deserve everything she dished out and more.

“Ash, please don’t cry.”

She lifted her ravaged face and pushed angrily at her hair. “Don’t cry? What the hell else do you suggest I do? How could you do this? How could my father? Tell me, Devon, what was the price put on my future? What do you get out of the bargain?”

He stared at her in silence.

“Tell me, damn it! I think I deserve to know what my happiness was traded for.”

“Your father wanted me to marry you as part of the merger between Tricorp Investments and Copeland Hotels,” he bit out. “Happy now? Can you tell me what possible good it does for you to know that?”

“It doesn’t make me happy but I damn well want to know what I’ve gotten myself into, or rather what my father got me into. Did I ever even have a chance? Did you study up on all the ways to worm your way into my heart?”

“Christ, no. Look, it was all real. It’s not like I faked an attraction to you. It wasn’t exactly a hardship to pursue you. If I hadn’t wanted to marry you, no merger or deal would have persuaded me differently. I thought and still think that we’d make a solid marriage. I don’t see why love has to be the be-all and end-all in this equation. Mutual respect and friendship are far more important aspects of a relationship.”

“Maybe you can tell me how the hell I’m supposed to respect a man who doesn’t love me and who manipulated me into a marriage based on deception. Does everyone think I’m a brainless twit who should be pathetically grateful that a man sweeps into my life and offers to take care of me? I’ve got news for you and my family. I hadn’t married yet because it was my choice. I hadn’t had sex with a man yet because I had enough respect for myself that I wasn’t going to be pressured into something I wasn’t ready for. It’s not like I haven’t had men interested in me. I’m not pathetically needy nor was I going to waste away if I wasn’t married by the ripe old age of twenty-three. I was happy. I had a good life.”

“Ashley, listen to me.”

He leaned forward, caught her hands and stared until she quieted and returned his gaze.

“Right now you’re upset and you’re hurting. But don’t discount the possibility that we could enjoy a comfortable, lasting marriage. Don’t make a snap decision you may regret later. Take some time to think about it when you’ve calmed down. When you’re not so volatile, you’ll be able to look at the situation more objectively.”

“Oh screw off,” she snapped. “Could you be any more patronizing? ‘Don’t be so high-strung, Ashley. Don’t be so stupid and naive. Don’t expect ridiculous things like love and affection in a marriage. How perfectly absurd would that be?’”

“I don’t think we should have this conversation any longer,” he said tightly. “Not until you’ve had time to calm down and think about what you’re saying.” He stood abruptly and she looked hastily away but not before he saw the silver trail of her tears streaking down her cheeks.