Sweet Temptation (The Sweet Trilogy #4)(64)

I’ve always gone through the motions of life, doing what needs to be done and putting on a good show, but I’ve stopped caring about the show now. I can’t even lose myself in the drums anymore. I’m too busy wishing for something more. The band knows something’s up with me, and I overhear them talking. They think I’ve become a cokehead or some shit. I don’t bother correcting them.

In May I start to feel the itch. It’s been three months since I saw her, and I know her birthday’s coming up. I need to hear from her, to get my fix.

I’m sitting at a bar with Michael, Bennett, and Raj. When I see a group of girls watching me, then making their move to come over, I take out my mobile and dial Marna. I hunch into myself a bit while I talk, and the girls don’t approach. They wait.

“Where are you?” I ask when Marna answers.

“Scotland, my lad.” She sounds chipper.

“Any news?”

“Erm . . . no. Not really.”

“Not really?”

“I meant no. Just no.”

A prickle of apprehension heats my skin. “Are they still traveling together?”

“No.”

Before I can ask another question I hear my mates greeting someone loudly, and the voice of Anna Malone rings out behind me.

“Hey, Kai! You’re coming tonight, right?”

“Who’s that?” Marna asks in a rush. “Is it the other Anna?”

“Hush,” I say, turning to Anna. She’s beaming at first, then cringes.

“Oh, sorry! Didn’t know you were on the phone.” She smiles and covers her mouth, turning to the bartender for a drink.

“What a cow,” Marna mutters.

“Tell me what else you’ve heard, Marn.”

She pauses too long. “Like I said, nothing.”

My skin heats. As usual, I go for worst-case scenario. “Something’s happened. Is anyone hurt?”

“No!”

Second-worst-case scenario. “Did they hook up?”

Marna pauses too long again, and this time pain alights along my skin as if I’m being eaten by fire ants. She lets out a fake laugh. “No . . . don’t be silly.”

Marna is lying. She always pauses awkwardly before she lies.

“I’ve got to go.” I sound as deadly as I feel.

“Kaidan, wait!”

“You paused, Marna.” I let this sink in.

She sounds frantic. “Please, listen. It’s not what you think.”

“It’s exactly what I think.”

“No, I mean it. There was just one moment, one tiny kiss, but they’re not—”

“Stop,” I whisper fiercely, squeezing my mobile. “I don’t want to hear it.”

I can’t believe this is happening. In this moment I acknowledge to myself that I always held out a small hope that Anna would never allow it to happen, no matter how much Kope pursued. But she gave in, and for all I know maybe they’ve been together all along and the news just now got to Marna. They might’ve even been together when I saw her in February, a thought that wrings my lungs of air.

Within a matter of seconds, I rebuild the walls around myself that Anna Whitt tore down. The I-don’t-give-a-damn-about-anything walls. My jaw clenches and I sit up straighter.

I don’t care.

I don’t feel.

Nothing can touch me.

“Kai?” Marna whispers on the other end of the phone. I scarcely hear her.

Anna from work stands in front of me, staring down at her phone. Her aura is gray with disappointment and she lets out an “Ugh.”

“What’s wrong?” I ask her. Marna tries to pipe up, and I say, “Not you, Marn. Hang on.” I put the phone to my shoulder and look at the frowning Anna.

“My roommate is coming home and doesn’t feel good—she doesn’t want any people over.” She pushes straight strands behind her ear.

A sickening sort of determination to prove just how much I don’t care comes over me. “Brilliant,” I say. Anna’s eyebrows come together in confusion until I say, “Party at my place, then.”

She slowly grins. “Really?” Her excitement makes my gut twist with nervous guilt, but I ignore it. I’ve put this girl off for too long. And for what reason? If my Anna is moving on . . . I shake my head. Not “my” Anna. She’s never been mine.

Raj bounds over and slaps me on the shoulder. I put the phone back at my ear as word spreads that I’m having people over. My parties used to be epic, so the guys are stoked.

“Gotta go, Marn. Fun to be had.”

“Don’t do it, Kai. It’s not—”

“Bye, then.”

I hang up and my stomach turns. For the first time, I don’t try to move away or escape when Anna talks to me, playfully pushing my arm or slapping my knee. She can sense the difference. I see it in the way she’s searching my face, wondering if I’ve finally seen the light.

Yes. Yes, I have. And it’s blinding.

She’s filled with happiness and excitement, bright and shining.

I give her my attention, but my chest is filled with a hive of stinging hornets.

We waste no time moving the festivities to my place, and soon it’s overflowing with people. The party fills the whole apartment complex as neighbors open their doors and filter over. Music blasts from my speakers loud enough to shake the floors, just how I like it. Everywhere I look people are drunk, high, dancing, snogging, falling on one another, laughing. Anna sits between Raj and Bennett on the couch, playing a drinking game with cards.